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Original poster

Grandparent nickname

95 replies

moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 13:47

LO is only a couple of months’ old, and mine and my husband’s first.

My in-laws have been grandparents for a while as BIL and SIL have two children - one girl and one boy.

The eldest (our niece) couldn’t pronounce ‘Grandad’ when she was younger and so called FIL “GooGoo.”

This then stuck and so when our nephew arrived, he also began calling him GooGoo.

I, however, am really not a fan of baby words like this and believe children should be talk to speak properly. I don’t want them getting teased in school when referring to their Grandparent as GooGoo! Niece and nephew are now 10 and 5 respectively and STILL calling FIL this nickname. Both niece and nephew are very behind in school/developmentally and I really don’t think things like this help.

Our LO is only a few months old, but MIL and FIL are already pushing this nickname with him. I slightly understood it when nephew arrived, as it was his sister’s nickname, but I personally don’t want our son adopting this and don’t see what relation this has to him.

It makes me cringe and I would like him to use actual words.

AIBU?

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Original poster
moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 17:04

KnickerFolder · 08/04/2025 16:58

And therein lies my dilemma - ILs don’t seem to be happy with us using ‘Grandad’ instead. 🤷‍♀️ My PoV is that it’s our little family (my DH, LO and I) and we can use whatever words we see fit!

Words and names are a different matter though.

Use the correct word to describe the person eg your grandad and your DC will be likely to do the same when referring to them to other people.

Silly nicknames aren’t baby talk. Don’t you have a silly nickname or use terms of endearment for your DH?

I do think the person being called the name ought to get say, as well as you, It’s their name! Would you like it if your siblings insisted you were to be called Aunt Elizabeth if everyone else called you Bezza but they thought it was too naff? I could see your point if he had made up Googoo but it’s already his nickname, he has an emotional attachment to it.

Interesting, thank you.

OP posts:
Whoarethoseguys · 08/04/2025 17:06

moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 14:56

I think I probably get frustrated with them thrusting behaviours from BIL&SIL’s little family onto us. Would like them to respect that we’re a different family unit and have different approaches for our children. I think it’s fair that, as you say, it’s not a direct cause for slow development, but I really do think teaching baby speak instead of trying to get them to talk properly is unhelpful in that regard.

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Personally I think the name it's up to the grandparents what they want to be called

WhereYouLeftIt · 08/04/2025 17:07

moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 14:57

They just don’t seem to be happy with it though! I just don’t see why we should adopt some other child’s nickname for him. And wow really?! That’s so bizarre.

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Short answer is, you shouldn't.

I would just stress to them that 'GooGoo' <shudder> is a very personal nickname bestowed by niece, and that you think it devalues that relationship if you muscle in on it.

'No, I wouldn't dream of it! I want my children to form their own relationship with you, not just ride on Niece's coattails. And that's the end of it!'

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Original poster
moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 17:08

FrootScoot · 08/04/2025 17:02

I kind of think it’s up to the Grandparent to decide what they want to be called.
I grew up calling my Grandparents Grandma and Grandpa.
When I was pregnant with DC1, the first Grandchild in the family PIL made it clear they thought Grandma and Grandpa felt too old for them and they wanted to be be Taid (they’re Welsh) and Nana (Not the Welsh term but DH’s Grandmother is the original Nain and she didn’t want two Nains) I completely respected that even though I don’t really like Nana because it sounds like baby talk.
As it turned out my Parents became Grumpa and Mumgar and FIL got Taidy only Nana gets her chosen name 🤦‍♀️

Okay, but why oh why does it have to be GOOGOO? 😂 I don’t think he ever particularly wanted to be called that, as such, but because niece called him it it stuck. That said, I always felt it was a personal thing for niece/nephew, not so much us as a formal name. I don’t like feeling like I have to say “say thank you to GooGoo!” etc. or else I get the stink eye from ILs for simply using the word ‘Grandad.’ 🤦‍♀️

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Original poster
moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 17:09

WhereYouLeftIt · 08/04/2025 17:07

Short answer is, you shouldn't.

I would just stress to them that 'GooGoo' <shudder> is a very personal nickname bestowed by niece, and that you think it devalues that relationship if you muscle in on it.

'No, I wouldn't dream of it! I want my children to form their own relationship with you, not just ride on Niece's coattails. And that's the end of it!'

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Helpful, thank you!

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saraclara · 08/04/2025 17:18

My PoV is that it’s our little family (my DH, LO and I) and we can use whatever words we see fit!

Frankly, your preference doesn't over ride what the person wants to be called. It's become his name. That's what he wants to be called. For the record, I dislike it too, but as a grandparent I'd be extremely annoyed if my DIL or son decided that I was going to be called something that I disliked, when I'd expressed a clear preference. It's pretty arrogant behaviour on your part.

My DD and son in law gave all of us grandparents our own choice of name. As she said "you're the people who will be hearing it, and it'll be part of your identity,so it's up to you"

FrootScoot · 08/04/2025 17:22

moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 17:08

Okay, but why oh why does it have to be GOOGOO? 😂 I don’t think he ever particularly wanted to be called that, as such, but because niece called him it it stuck. That said, I always felt it was a personal thing for niece/nephew, not so much us as a formal name. I don’t like feeling like I have to say “say thank you to GooGoo!” etc. or else I get the stink eye from ILs for simply using the word ‘Grandad.’ 🤦‍♀️

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I do understand. It’s completely how I felt about Nana. I avoided saying it much for ages but I just got used to it I suppose once DC started saying it. I will never be a Nana myself though!!
Hopefully your DC will come up with their own cute NN for him and you can pounce on that, unless it’s worse Google or Gangle 🤣🤣

TianasBayou · 08/04/2025 17:34

Maybe go with Grandad/Grandpa Googoo? Then you can hope your DC drop the second bit!

ItTook9Years · 08/04/2025 17:35

Parents wanted to be Nanny and Grandpa. DD decided they were Mimi and Gaga. They still are.

She worked out aged about 5 that she should refer to them as Grandma or Grandad to others so that they understood who she was talking about. It’s been no issue.

Iloveeverycat · 08/04/2025 17:44

Btw I work in primary school and most of the chn have all sorts of terms of endearment for their grandparents. Nobody judges and by the time they get older they know when to switch to grandma from nickname.
Mine are in their 20s and still use the nickname. They even still write it on cards. Nothing wrong with it.

Offtobuttonmoontovisitmrspoon · 08/04/2025 17:45

Your little one will likely come up with their own version of grandad (which you will quickly fall in love with). Keep using grandad yourself but don’t be shocked when you suddenly find your child asking where Gerdad or Ganda is. (Dh is currently Gerdad although has previously been good dad). I’ve always been plain old Nanny which I love.

What does your Dh think (sorry if I missed that)?

ARichtGoodDram · 08/04/2025 18:07

Don't worry about them at school. Kids call their grandparents all sorts and other kids don't bat an eyelid (and staff have heard it all).

And do be careful what you wish for. A mum I know tried to dissuade her child from using Grampy because she didn't like it, instead she kept repeating Grandad Philip. Which her child interpreted as Grampa Flip-flop and then dropped the Grampa bit so came into school announcing he was having a sleepover with Flipflop at the weekend 😂

Original poster
moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 18:22

TianasBayou · 08/04/2025 17:34

Maybe go with Grandad/Grandpa Googoo? Then you can hope your DC drop the second bit!

Good suggestion, thanks!

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Original poster
moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 18:24

Offtobuttonmoontovisitmrspoon · 08/04/2025 17:45

Your little one will likely come up with their own version of grandad (which you will quickly fall in love with). Keep using grandad yourself but don’t be shocked when you suddenly find your child asking where Gerdad or Ganda is. (Dh is currently Gerdad although has previously been good dad). I’ve always been plain old Nanny which I love.

What does your Dh think (sorry if I missed that)?

Haha! Cute. DH is of a similar opinion as me in terms of it not really being “our” child’s nickname for FIL and so the idea of it being thrust upon us feeling a little strange.

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Original poster
moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 18:25

ARichtGoodDram · 08/04/2025 18:07

Don't worry about them at school. Kids call their grandparents all sorts and other kids don't bat an eyelid (and staff have heard it all).

And do be careful what you wish for. A mum I know tried to dissuade her child from using Grampy because she didn't like it, instead she kept repeating Grandad Philip. Which her child interpreted as Grampa Flip-flop and then dropped the Grampa bit so came into school announcing he was having a sleepover with Flipflop at the weekend 😂

Amazing 😂😂😂

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Original poster
moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 18:28

saraclara · 08/04/2025 17:18

My PoV is that it’s our little family (my DH, LO and I) and we can use whatever words we see fit!

Frankly, your preference doesn't over ride what the person wants to be called. It's become his name. That's what he wants to be called. For the record, I dislike it too, but as a grandparent I'd be extremely annoyed if my DIL or son decided that I was going to be called something that I disliked, when I'd expressed a clear preference. It's pretty arrogant behaviour on your part.

My DD and son in law gave all of us grandparents our own choice of name. As she said "you're the people who will be hearing it, and it'll be part of your identity,so it's up to you"

Edited

FWIW, I don’t think he necessarily likes it or sees it as his name in quite that sense, more so that he feels we’re disrupting the status quo somehow, or the established “way of things”… if that makes any sense? But niece and nephew are not our children, so our child will be encouraged to use the actual term for him - which is grandad or grandpa. If he then has his own nickname for him, fine, but it doesn’t seem organic to have another child’s mispronunciation become what we all know him as/refer to him as as a family unit.

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Seventree · 08/04/2025 18:42

Teach your LO to call him whatever they want (they may even come up with their own name for him). But I do think you're being a bit ridiculous.

My cousins still call me the nickname one gave me when she couldn't pronounce my name. They have a PHD and two Masters degrees between them and are happy, successful young women. Using a babyish nickname obviously hasn't caused them any developmental delays 🙄. My DH still managed to turn out ok calling his grandmother a silly pet name too.

Original poster
moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 18:53

Seventree · 08/04/2025 18:42

Teach your LO to call him whatever they want (they may even come up with their own name for him). But I do think you're being a bit ridiculous.

My cousins still call me the nickname one gave me when she couldn't pronounce my name. They have a PHD and two Masters degrees between them and are happy, successful young women. Using a babyish nickname obviously hasn't caused them any developmental delays 🙄. My DH still managed to turn out ok calling his grandmother a silly pet name too.

Edited

Thanks, your perspective is helpful. No one on my side of the family has ever used baby nicknames, nor did my DH, funnily enough, when he was younger. The only two children I’ve ever known to have any issues have been my niece and nephew and MIL&FIL let them baby talk/babble all the time, so I guess as they are the only children I know “behind” developmentally, this has formed my perspective. In saying that, I have acknowledged elsewhere in the thread that obviously I don’t think it’s JUST the nickname that would cause this, but I don’t feel that they make an effort to talk properly with niece and nephew, and I just don’t think this helps the situation. There are other factors, such as high device usage, not reading with them etc.

OP posts:
thepariscrimefiles · 08/04/2025 19:37

moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 17:08

Okay, but why oh why does it have to be GOOGOO? 😂 I don’t think he ever particularly wanted to be called that, as such, but because niece called him it it stuck. That said, I always felt it was a personal thing for niece/nephew, not so much us as a formal name. I don’t like feeling like I have to say “say thank you to GooGoo!” etc. or else I get the stink eye from ILs for simply using the word ‘Grandad.’ 🤦‍♀️

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Goo Goo is the very definition of baby talk. When children and adults imitate babies they use 'goo goo gah gah'. I can see why you wouldn't want your child using this. It would be OK while your child is young, but would sound odd when they are older. I understand a grandparent enjoying this if it's a name that the child has chosen themselves, but to force it on other children is a bit odd.

Purplestarballoon · 08/04/2025 19:52

I think it also depends how much you’ll see your ILs with your neice and nephew. We mainly see my ILs at the same time as our nephew so it makes sense that their “names” are the same for both our DC and nephew otherwise it would be strange for them to be called different things at the same time.

Having said that, on my side my mum has a made up nickname that developed much to all our amusement that you would definitely describe as “baby talk” and I don’t think she would push that on my siblings children if they were to have any.

Abitlost1 · 08/04/2025 20:06

moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 16:44

Well they won’t know I think that, because I wouldn’t be as unkind as to say so. However, quite honestly, do I think that them plonking their DC in front of an iPad constantly, avoiding talking to them and reading with them etc etc has been unhelpful in that regard? Yes. Does it mean I love any of them any less? No, of course not! We just have different approaches to parenting, which is okay. People are allowed to be different and have different approaches. Again, hence my entire point/perspective - I personally believe we should be able to call our DIL ‘Grandad’ and not feel obliged to adopt the nickname when it hasn’t come naturally.

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“plonking their dc in front of an iPad and not reading with them “ how do you know they do this?

So, so judgmental. And “different approaches to parenting “ , you have been a parent for about 5 minutes op!
You are at the very easy stage l! Such superiority .
I’m a teacher with a phd and I have a masters in education and I have brought my dcs to the library since they were about 1 month old , one has never looked at a book bar me reading it, the others are a bit interested but mainly into sports. They were never “plonked” in front of screens and are all very bright. One of my friends dcs was often on iPads (too much probably) as he was really challenging as a child and once mobile wouldn’t sit still for even 5 seconds even as an older child, he’s now a very intelligent 17 year old and doing really well academically.

You are highly judgemental of your sil and bil and their dcs separate to the issue of what they call their grandparents. You see yourself as a “better parent “ despite the fact that you’ve only been a parent for a very short period. Encourage your dcs to call their gp by a proper name but lay off judging your sil and bil parenting and children.

Original poster
moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 20:12

thepariscrimefiles · 08/04/2025 19:37

Goo Goo is the very definition of baby talk. When children and adults imitate babies they use 'goo goo gah gah'. I can see why you wouldn't want your child using this. It would be OK while your child is young, but would sound odd when they are older. I understand a grandparent enjoying this if it's a name that the child has chosen themselves, but to force it on other children is a bit odd.

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Yeah, this is exactly my issue.

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Original poster
moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 20:13

Purplestarballoon · 08/04/2025 19:52

I think it also depends how much you’ll see your ILs with your neice and nephew. We mainly see my ILs at the same time as our nephew so it makes sense that their “names” are the same for both our DC and nephew otherwise it would be strange for them to be called different things at the same time.

Having said that, on my side my mum has a made up nickname that developed much to all our amusement that you would definitely describe as “baby talk” and I don’t think she would push that on my siblings children if they were to have any.

Hmm… see they probably will be around them a fair bit as we have a very good relationship with all of them, but my preference would be the latter part there for sure!

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Original poster
moonmaker93 · 08/04/2025 20:16

Abitlost1 · 08/04/2025 20:06

“plonking their dc in front of an iPad and not reading with them “ how do you know they do this?

So, so judgmental. And “different approaches to parenting “ , you have been a parent for about 5 minutes op!
You are at the very easy stage l! Such superiority .
I’m a teacher with a phd and I have a masters in education and I have brought my dcs to the library since they were about 1 month old , one has never looked at a book bar me reading it, the others are a bit interested but mainly into sports. They were never “plonked” in front of screens and are all very bright. One of my friends dcs was often on iPads (too much probably) as he was really challenging as a child and once mobile wouldn’t sit still for even 5 seconds even as an older child, he’s now a very intelligent 17 year old and doing really well academically.

You are highly judgemental of your sil and bil and their dcs separate to the issue of what they call their grandparents. You see yourself as a “better parent “ despite the fact that you’ve only been a parent for a very short period. Encourage your dcs to call their gp by a proper name but lay off judging your sil and bil parenting and children.

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Once again, you’re assuming a heck of a lot here from start to finish and framing it as fact.

OP posts:
Abitlost1 · 08/04/2025 20:30

@moonmaker93 I’m literally repeating what you have written, I’m not assuming anything. It’s totally obvious what you think of your sil and bil from what you have written. You think that their parenting and over use of tech had led their children to be “developmentally delayed “.