No annual leave left during school holiday and no childcare

[ExcitingTimes2023]

Hi!

I was hoping someone could advise on what they do in this situation.

I have 2 children, a 18 month old and a 3 year old. My eldest is an august baby and she goes to school this September. The annual leave calender for this coming year opened a couple of weeks ago, I went to book some time off to cover some (not all) of the school holidays. I understand it has to be fair so I was hoping to book a couple of weeks and my partner we do the same. And we could request alternate shifts the remaining weeks to ensure one of us are home with the children (both shift workers).

However already there is no annual leave during the school holidays left so I’m not sure what we are going to do for childcare. Like I said we could request alternate shifts but I’m not sure our departments would honour that every single school holiday week, and it would mean we spend no time together as a family. I understand it has to be fair and I wasn’t expecting to have all the time off during the holidays but to get zero weeks off during my child’s first 6 months of school just seams a bit unfair. I spoke to my senior who was sympathetic but couldn’t help.

now I know there are holiday clubs and when my child is a bit older I’m sure she would manage but she is very shy and reserved at the moment and very nervous in new settings and hates places which was really noisy, so I’m not keen to use these until she is a little more confident in herself. I also have a younger child to drop off at nursery so logistics would be a nightmare to get to work on time. What other options are available childcare wise during the holidays? or am I just going to have to come to terms with alternate shifts and no quality family time during holidays?

Im just feeling a bit gutted as my first child starting school is overwhelming as it is without having to worry about this. If she was one of these confident children that just gets on with everyone I wouldn’t be worrying so much but I just know my daughter! Next year I’m literally going to be stood at the annual leave folder the second it opens to get a good few weeks booked!

Not that it matters as everyone is entitled to book their annual leave when suits them, but at least half of the school holiday leave has been booked by people with no children or people who’s children have fled the nest so I guess that adds to why I feel so deflated. but I’m trying to remind myself that I don’t get a say when or why other people need to use their leave. Trying to stay impartial is hard though.

I just wanted to say don’t listen to the bitter nasty folk on here. Trying to cover school holidays is an absolute nightmare and those without children just don’t get it. I have also been really upset by non parents booking school holidays, when they didn’t need to. Yes, of course they can if they want to, but it seems crazy to do so. I knew they had no real need to as well. Was I being unreasonable to be upset? Probably, but it was so infuriating (at the time). Luckily I now work in an office where I’m the only school aged child parent and my children have nearly finished school, so we’re nearly through it all! Good luck getting sorted and definitely have a word with management - that system is unfair. At least if it was on line, you could have accessed it remotely.

She was just venting her frustration, we all do it. At least you have the option of cheaper holidays! Be kind.

We just used nursery, no other option.

i completely feel for you. My eldest is an August baby and doesn’t cope in holiday club settings / anywhere except at home or grandparents. I’ve tried every club in every price bracket.

My DH, myself and my parents shared it all but the wheels fell off. We couldn’t really afford it (at all)! But I left my job and now have a minimum wage job in a local school. The relief is palpable.
The wage really isn’t and you work like a dog, but the sheer joy at not having to panic over holidays is the stuff dreams are made of.
you either have the money and not the time, or the time and not the money.

check our eteach for your local area, you do have to really want to do the job, but its there for anyone.

Your leave booking system sounds really unfair. I think if there is competition for specific weeks, it’s not fair if that is fastest finger first. Your previous system of 2 preferred weeks sounded much fairer.

If you are any where near London/Home Counties camp Beaumont take from 3. Very few other camps do and you’ll likely find it a pain in reception was a summer born (been there, done that).

I think you should raise this with your line manager and point out you were on leave when the booking opened and didn’t have a chance to get the leave you were hoping for. I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all in being pissed off.

You snooze… you lose! Those without school age children are still entitled to leave then and they may be helping their kids out with the grandchildren you never know

I’m guessing your best choice now is to request unpaid parental leave which are legally entitled to.

The poster I was replying to a) is not the OP and b) described those who lack minor-aged children and take leave during school holidays as "weird" with a huge holier-than-thou subtext as she virtue-signalled that she would never do such a thing.

It is not me who needs to be told to be kind.

I feel for you. Our reality as a family is we have 1 week off together a year. The rest of the time it’s working opposite days and taking annual leave at separate times.
You also have to get organised and book well in advance and be super on it. I have a spreadsheet / table with all holiday dates who is on / off / holiday club etc it’s a military operation!

My husband is a teacher, so I was that person without kids hoping for a bit of time off in the holidays. But I checked in with my colleagues about what they needed for childcare, as long as I got a couple of weeks in the hols I was happy, didn’t matter when it was

That was very generous of you, @PurplGirl, and I only hope it's the sort of place where this was reciprocated if you need it

Too many aren't, and the kindness can become an expectation - even a perceived entitlement

It sounds like a very poorly organised holiday booking system. Basically a first come first served bunfight, when everyone gabs what they want and the quickest people get it. Your previous system sounds much fairer.

On the plus side, it will be nice to have the first 2 weeks of September off. You’ll be able to do the school runs, meet the other parents, and it’ll be nice for your daughter to be picked up by you every day, especially with her being so young.

No advice for this!

I have one child at school, 1 in nursery and a newborn. My husband works shifts and I work a zero hour contract around his shifts. I wouldn’t be able to afford to send both kids to nursery/clubs. We pretty much do alternate shifts and both book a bit of annual leave when the holidays start. It’s the main reason I stay on my zero hour contract and I try to do a few extra hours in term time so I can work less in the holidays. We don’t get enough annual leave to cover the summer holidays between us nevermind the whole school year so luckily we can work it between us

Needs must but absolutely rubbish!

This

Could you ask a local college if any students doing childcare courses want a holiday job.?

You should definitely raise this with your line manager and/or HR. It's completely unfair for them to change the system without notifying people in advance.

Is there a way to request leave when you are not physically at work or is it only possible at work?

I can log into the HR system from home so I do sometimes request leave when I'm not working.

I mean even with your husband your not covering all leave so surprised your only just realising this.

Do you have a friend with a child that you could share childcare with ?

It really was!

does your childs current nursery do holiday club?

thats what i did for the first 2 holidays (oct/christmas) in reception as they were far more comfortable going there

if not, have a look round at other nurseries - i like these sports clubs etc but for littles its a bit much! nurseries while more expensive, provide a homely feel for the littles - then move onto the bigger clubs at 6/7

But she sort of is asking for preference over single or children people

"Not that it matters as everyone is entitled to book their annual leave when suits them, but at least half of the school holiday leave has been booked by people with no children or people who’s children have fled the nest"

But you’re ignoring the fact that work didn’t say in advance when holiday booking opened, they just said once it was open, holiday has to be booked in person and OP was on leave, and they changed the system so everyone was able to book all their leave from April to March, rather than the usual system of booking their preferred 2 weeks first, and then all other leave.

Its very unfair OP and I would approach it from that angle rather than childcare when speaking to your managers.

Options include holiday clubs (which my kids have always loved - and one of them is very shy), childminders, nanny/au pair, relatives, unpaid leave, or even an informal arrangement (a friend of mine unofficially childminded my daughter when she was a toddler as I was working and I preferred not to have her in nursery 8-6 every day so she did a mixture of nursery and being with my friend (who I paid)).
Once my youngest turned 3 I used to drop them off at my parents for some weeks of the holidays - a week at a time - my parents are 4hrs away. We still do this now that my kids are 10 and 13 and they still love it.

Quite a lot of people without young children like to take time off around Christmas, Easter and the bank holidays - ie in school holidays. It's the best way to maximise annual leave and often to see friends and family who are also off. But now I understand that such people are essentially Weird

I haven't read all the comments but have you talked to them about parental leave? We have a policy where parents are entitled to 4 weeks unpaid parental leave, it may not work for you if it's difficult financially but worth a try.

I added a link earlier. Not many parents have heard of it.

Ah Thankyou. I think you are right. I should have put a bit more detail in the original post but I already thought it was a bit wordy.

Just to clarify though for people still posting what I consider quite nasty or short comments. I haven’t just thought to check today. I’m actually off work today, and I have been thinking about this for the last week or so before posting. All the ‘main’ weeks were booked within a week of the calender opening. A calender was put in the annual leave folder and it has been free for all who ever can get there to put their name down first. Completely different to how all other years have been booked. When I returned to work for my first shift, a week after the calender had opened, that was the state of play. The normal process is everyone gets a priority 2 weeks before the rest of the leave is opened. For some reason this hasn’t happened this year. Prior to the calendar opening I had asked my seniors several times about when the calendar would open for 25/26 as I needed try to book leave around childcare but was just told they would let us know when the calendar opens.

I do not feel I’m entitled to priority over anyone else when it comes to annual leave just because I have young children. we are a hardworking team and I respect all my colleagues. I do not begrudge or resent them at all for booking any well earned time off. It is their leave to use however they wish and I wouldn’t dream of complaining to them or asking them to swap/cancel the leave they are entitled to take when and as they wish. However, no matter how unreasonable, I am allowed to feel ‘hard done by’ and that is unfair I didn’t get any annual leave during the holidays. I wasn’t expecting to have all the school holidays off but I was planning on having at least 2 weeks as that it was would have happened every other year.

This is also my first year having to negotiate this minefield and ‘competition’ for leave. So no, I’m not perfect, this is a learning curve. I’m sure all you people making me feel like a failure are absolutely perfect parents who have never made mistakes, been caught short, made errors in judgement, or just thought things would be easier then they are. I’m sure have all had never had any issues and stress over childcare and got everything perfectly right first time.

Parenting is hard, always throwing these new changes and problems at you. You turn to a parenting site for advise, support, to listen to experiences from parents who have been through this before, and a safe space to rant, even when you are being unreasonable. But instead you get torn down and made to feel like shit by a community that should understand how hard things can be.

As I have said before I posted for advise about what childcare I can explore. I do not expect any preferential treatment, the leave is booked. There is nothing I can do about that. I have a worst case scenario plan which is for me and my partner to work alternate shifts every school holiday if both our departments would allow it. But why would anyone skip straight to worst case scenario without trying to explore other options which could be much better for us all as a family. As I have said before I’m very greatful for all those offering advise, support and solidarity. I’m sure this will be the most challenging year and it’s all unknown… but I will find my feet I’m sure. Iv got lots of useful suggests of options to explore.