Anyone else find health visitors annoying?

[LifesQuestions]

My baby is 10 weeks old and is exclusively breastfed and I still have a HV visit every other week to check on baby because they are concerned about her weight. My baby has been steadily gaining weight since she turned 3 weeks but the issue they have is that she's growing on the 0.4th percentile.

Whilst this HV isn't actively encouraging me to top baby up with formula, I do feel paranoid that this is what she wants me to do because most of the midwives who used to visit prior to HV were all encouraging me to top baby up with formula, including the paediatrician who I got referred to when she was losing weight in the first three weeks.

I did listen and top baby up with formula but I gave up on it after just over a week as she was never finishing the bottle (I did a mix of pumped breastmilk and formula) and the rest would go to waste. Once baby was consistently gaining weight, the midwifery team discharged me and now it's the HV visiting regularly.

What I don't understand is why the HV keeps visiting, what can I do as it's just making me feel stressed!

Think you’re being harsh on the HV, to be honest.

Your baby is literally on the cusp of undernourishment. Yes, weight gain is happening, but one virus, one bug, and they’d likely be in trouble as the baby will have no reserve to call on if their oral intake drops temporarily.

If they weren’t coming out and your baby ended up losing weight and in the hospital, people would chastise the HV for not being attentive enough and leaving a new Mum to flounder with a baby who was so little.

As far as I know you do not have to see her. Just politely sack her off

10 weeks is still very young. If your daughter was under a paediatrician then there obviously were concerns. Has she actually been discharged from her consultant? It’s great that things have improved and she’s now steadily gaining weight but things can change so quickly when they’re so little. A slight cold or bug can put anyone off their food for a few days but with a baby things can change quite drastically. Feel free to have a chat with your health visitor to make visits more convenient or comfortable for you but personally I would be inclined to follow the medical guidance and keep a close eye on her.

Your baby needs extra monitoring. It's not a reflection on you as a parent. I think not engaging with it isn't in the best interests of your baby though.

I've had a few friends with babies suddenly hospitalised after they didn't gain enough weight. Both did end up topping up with formula and babies were fine. If they'd been regularly monitored they might not have got to that point.

HVs are optional, just tell her you do not want her services and any issues with the baby, you’ll see the GP.

Can you take your DD to a weighing clinic instead if that feels less intrusive? I'm getting my 2nd centile baby weighed every other week at my local clinic - as other posters have said, you want to know sooner rather than later if they fall off the curve suddenly.

Dammed if they do, dammed if they don’t.
Instead of taking it as personal affront, maybe appreciate the fact that professionals are doing the job they’re supposed to.

I’ve just replied to your other post but if baby is on 0.4 they are very tiny, and at risk of failure to thrive…this is why a professional is visiting…not everyone has this, be thankful.
My little one didn’t get to her birth weigh until she was 5 weeks old and HVs confined to see me until she was 4 months. I was grateful to be cared about. It was during Covid and they were supportive and kind.

Just buy a set of baby scales then you can weigh your child when you want. Amazon sell them.

When I had 4th dc we went on holiday to wales when she was a week or 2 old - FIL (who was doing work on our house) rang to say HV had turned up and was worried as she couldn't get hold of me (my phone must've been off). It hadn't even occurred to me that she'd be visiting to be honest! - I kind of thought they'd assume I knew what I was doing by that point! She was a nice woman but much younger than me with no children and it seemed a bit silly.

It’s because your baby is on the 0.4th centile, and this can be associated with health difficulties: https://growth.rcpch.ac.uk/clinician/chart-information-health-staff/#how-to-assess-weight-loss-after-birth
they are just trying to make sure your baby is well.

It is possible that this is just her natural growth curve, but it's also entirely possible that she is undernourished. Are you and your husband extremely small? If not, there may be an issue which means that exclusive breastfeeding is not giving her what she needs. Or there may be an issue not related to feeding method. But either way, the continued involvement of the health visitor is sensible.

For those people suggesting that I should be more grateful, what I haven't mentioned is that their apparent concern almost stopped me from breastfeeding altogether. If it weren't for various relatives who breastfed and told me to keep going, I would have given up.

These midwives and health visitors were so concerned about her weight yet not one of them showed me how to properly breastfeed or refer me to a lactation consultant to show me nor did they refer her for tongue tie until after 2 weeks had passed, despite me questioning whether she had tongue tie earlier on and being assured that she didn't. Turned out she did have tongue tie preventing her from breastfeeding properly and losing weight as a result.

Formula is problematic if you want to breastfeed because babies get full from formula and then suckle the breast less and thus your breastmilk supply doesn't grow hence why I was reluctant to continue with formula.

What these "professionals" should be focusing on is making sure we learn how to latch baby on to the breast properly from day one and also checking baby for tongue tie from day one, not telling us to top up with formula as soon as they see weight loss.

I have a lovely health visitor but I do agree that more needs to be done around support to breastfeed and particularly, identifying tongue tie.

I am petite. My husband is slim.

To be honest I can understand the extra visits and concern and I'm glad you're being offered the support. If you don't want them to come so often just ask them what their plan is? My guess is it's the centile she's in that means they want to keep a closer eye on her.

No I didn’t find my HV annoying she was marvellous - kind and supportive. She was also a non medical prescriber which was really helpful if any meds were needed.

They are worried about your baby - it’s gaining a tiny amount each week and has an added difficulty in terms of being tongue tied. I would think the paediatrician has asked them to visit as part of babies plan of care. It will be nothing related to you as a Mum though.

You don't have to be grateful or not grateful. You should work with experienced professionals who want to make sure your baby is OK. Even if you disagree with them about breastfeeding surely the most important thing is making sure your baby is thriving? If they are checking every other week they obviously still think, out of hundreds of babies they have on their books that your baby needs monitoring. They don't think less of you as a parent. They aren't doing it to make your life awkward. They don't have a vested interest in how you feed your baby. They are just doing their jobs.

My baby is not gaining a tiny amount everyday, she is gaining the required 20g a day, as expected, she is simply following the 0.4th percentile curve. Also, the tongue tie was snipped when she was 2 weeks.

Its extremely rare for a Mum not to produce enough milk, the stats are something like 1 in 1 million.

If the baby was hungry, and nothing mentioned by the OP so far says that hers is, then how the milk is being transferred should be investigated so far. Many, many Mums are lead to believe that they don’t have enough milk when their baby simply has Tongue Tie.

As I said though nothing seems to be amiss with the OP’s DD.

Some babies will naturally be on the 0.4 centile just as some babies will naturally be on the 99th. Neither are wrong in any way.

@LifesQuestionsyou could have a read of these articles if you need some reassurance:

Is my older baby getting enough milk?

Look at baby, not the scales

& How might I increase my baby’s weight gain?

I’d also suggest going to your local BFing support group]] where they will understand how both BFing and Centiles work

Sorry the BFing Groups should be here

Thank you.

Every professional should be reading and regurgitating the information in these links you've helpfully provided, maybe then they'll stop suggesting that topping baby up with formula is the solution to every low weight baby that is being exclusively breastfed. Whilst that is a solution, it's a quick fix solution and does nothing to help the mother increase her breast milk supply if exclusive breastfeeding is what she wants to do in the long run. Absolutely jarring.

I agree. I had a brilliant and very supportive and helpful HV.

Can you see why nurses are leaving their jobs in droves? Trying to provide care and look after patients and just criticised even though it wasn’t even the HV who suggested or has suggested since ‘topping up’.

Ring and tell them you don’t want more visits.