Locking the toddler’s door from the outside?

[sellotape12]

I just saw an American social media post in which people were advocating putting a lock on your toddler’s bedroom door handle for safety. The aim being that they can’t get out of their room at night time. Is this the norm? Are we being totally stupid for having not got this (still in a cot but moving to a bed soon)? I can’t imagine locking our kid in and them being okay with it? The consensus on the post seemed to be think it was totally normal and crazy to think that anyone wouldn’t.

No. Utter madness.

Yeah, it's a smart thing to do. We also installed an opening so we could post meals through to them. Allow them out to the garden for an hour exercise a day and they're usually fairly happy.

We have a stair gate on each of our toddlers bedroom doors which we do close after they are sleeping but this is because DH and his sister have a history of sleepwalking and stair gates at the top of the stairs are not recommended. I’m paranoid about them deciding to go for a walk at night and falling down the stairs. This works well for us so might be a solution for you that would be safer for your child overall. I wouldn’t be ok with locking an actual door to lock them in.

God no. This is awful.

Unless there is a genuine need for some sort of barrier, but even then not a lock on the door! My nephew had a stair gate on his room until he was about 10 because he would sleep walk terribly.

People will say it’s dreadful but I don’t see
how it’s any different to a stair gate? Young child can’t escape room - same outcome. (Different if stair gate is being used with older child who can open it when awake to prevent sleepwalking.)

Seemingly going against the consensus here but we sort of do this. Childlock on the door handle. Stairgates wouldn't work as the youngest would wake the 2.5yr old through the night and it was far too dangerous for him to be wandering at night. Our landing railing is a big drop to the floor and with determination he could climb over. That and the toilet / bathroom have no lock and the doors open easily. Because he transitioned him to a bed at 2 we needed it for his safety.

Never been an issue, I don't think he has ever even tried the handle. Goes to bed happily, knows he can just call for us and we come. I don't really see an issue as long as you don't lock them in against their will, so to speak.

A stair gate is easier (and quicker) for an adult to hop over/lift child over in case of fire/other emergency.

You can hear them through a stair gate, but less so through a door.

(Although I suppose if there was a fire elsewhere in the house the door would protect them more than a stair gate would so perhaps it's pros and cons?!).

I used to the keep mine in a crate.

Why are stairgates not recommended for the top of the stairs. I think that we had one. (Although 10 years ago so I might be wrong! 😂 Definitely had one at the bottom - the marks are still on the wall!)

The people that have stair gates on the door, do you fit them to the exterior of the door architrave? We’ve got Victorian house with those useless Victorian doors that are all bent so I’m not sure how a child lock would work although I am open to it.

• Help me out there. If the child has already been used to opening the door and shuffling into your room, how do you go backwards? Surely they will be distressed to find that the door no longer opens?

I find a kennel works well. They sleep much better with so much fresh air

I'm just going to say one word.

Fire.

Also interested to know why stairgates at the top of the stairs aren't recommended, never heard of that and that's where ours is! Toddler can leave her room to come into us in the morning safely that way .. sometimes she wanders into the spare room to look for the cat but we have a small upstairs, the worst she could do is chuck something down the loo I guess (not happened yet!). I worried that if I put a stairgate on her door she may cause carnage in there rather than come into us.

The availability of stackable teddies and being able to leverage with little rock climber fingers can result in them climbing over and rolling down the stairs

If a child climbs over one at the top of the stairs, it's a long fall down.

I don't like the idea of locking them in. We did have a while where DC couldn't open our doors due to tricky handles (knobs that need twisting). We didn't usually shut the door completely but they would have been stuck in the room if we did. Ours used to just stay in bed and shout though!

It's totally different to a stair gate. 🫤

@Mumofteenandtween My DS2 vaulted over the stair gate at the top of the stairs. He literally bounced down the stairs, and was totally fine, but it could have been very different. I had visitors at the time and was very embarrassed. DH was upstairs with him

Ahh okay got the logic. I think for us the stairgate at the top of the stairs stops half-asleep wandering and potentially falling down the stairs that way, rather than climbing over it .. she hasn't shown any vaulting skills yet but will keep a close eye!

Mine are bricked in every bedtime.
A family member did this at leat untill their child was 8. I think he still has to ask permission to leave his room.

Which? advise screw-fixed gates at the top of the stairs to prevent tripping over the bar that runs along the floor of a pressure-fitting gate.

The only stair gate we had as a child was at the top and neither of us attempted to climb it. The landing railing made of horizontal planks that had big enough gaps to squeeze through was a far easier escape route.

No that's awful! We had a stairgate at the top of the stairs so no need to lock a toddler in their room!

I don't chime with some of the reactions on here. We don't do it, but only because ours don't wander at night. A friend does, because her DD is a toddler acrobat and almost cracked her skull open on the concrete kitchen floor when she missed a step in the middle of the night. Every family needs to risk assess for themselves.

Why? If the child cannot get out of the room, what difference does it make?

I see someone earlier mentions not being able to hear the child through the door. Is the suggestion then that even shutting the door is not ok?!

someone also mentions fire. If the child can’t escape through a stair gate, that’s no different to a locked door in this situation.

(I’ve never locked my child in their room, but nor did I have a stair gate. By the time
she was old enough to be out the cot she was old enough to understand to stay in her room and not wander. But I don’t see
how a stair gate or a lock on the door is any different.)

A stair gate can be opened by emergency services where a locked door would take longer to figure out.
We had a stair gate at the top of the stairs but dc were supervised near it, it just stopped them falling down if they stumbled.
The other reason for not having pressure gates at the top of the stairs is they might give way if someone fell against them.
Our 14mo started climbing out of her cot so we made the room safe, put the mattress on the floor and a stair gate on the door. You can get quite high stair/dog gates if you have a climber.

We did this because DD could scale the stair gate quite early.

It wasn't a lock in the traditional sense, more like a plastic hook and eye type thing, but it wasn't a snug fit at all, and the whole thing was quite chunky so you could just knock it out with one hand while opening the door with the other. It was quicker and easier to open than a stair gate so I wasn't worried about a fire. We just put it on when we went to bed because her bedroom was near the top of the stairs and I worried about her falling.

Really it probably wasn't necessary as I always heard her wake up anyway, I just worried about the stairs.