First period talk!

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My daughter (11) has hormonal acne (the gp has sorted it and it’s clearing up) and I’ve now noticed she has started getting pubic hair.
the doctor said she’d guess it’ll happen within 6 months.

I’ve already discussed periods with her, and what to expect (my own mother never spoke to me about it and I woke up one morning thinking I’m dying 😅)

she’s very chill about it, we’ve got a very close relationship and she knows she can tell me anything or ask questions if she needs to.

im currently starting a period basket for her! I’m thinking period knickers , pads, a cute pad case to put in her bag , a lavender wheat bag in case she gets cramps, chocolate (an essential) , a lady shaver (this is there just in case she does decide to experiment with hair removal, and I feel it’s safer than a razor to start with while she gets the hang of it, she knows body hair is normal and that it’s her choice), moisturiser, some skincare bits (simple as it’s gentle), fluffy socks and pyjamas to get comfy after her period starts. Maybe some feminine wipes? And aveeno bath stuff? She can’t have bath bombs due to eczema.

does anyone have any more suggestions? How did you find your child’s first period? Is there anything you could recommend or wish you’d have done/purchased? I’d love to hear about it as it’s all very new for me in regards to having a child start their period! I just want to make it as positive as possible! And for her to know it’s ok.

You may already but probably worth getting some pantyliners as she may well have discharge prior to actually starting and always helpful just to feel fresh.
Depending on preference/what you and she want, you might want to put in a small pack of tampons just to try if she wants/needs - the tampax compak lites (purple ones) are very slim and easy to use or tampax pearl compak regular again slim, easy to use and quite funky packaging. Again, up to you.
Perhaps a nice smelling/funky hand sanitiser for her little period kit bag?
Maybe a body spray just as a little pick me up/ nice treat or nail varnish/lip balm?
Not in the basket but make sure you have got pain relief that she will take if needed (might not be able to swallow tablets not sure?) you can get meltlets if she might struggle with this.

God no, we just had normal discussions about what to expect and they both knew there was a fully stocked basket of supplies in the bathroom.

Absolute no to feminine wipes, why aveeno? What's a lady shave got to do with her period?

Thankyou that’s really helpful I wouldn’t have thought of those! You’re right it’s nice having options when it comes to period products.

yes, well she’s had a tablet before for travel sickness last year and managed it fine so I’m guessing she’d be ok taking tablets now. I’ll speak to the pharmacist and find some for her to keep in the cupboard.

im thinking maybe including a little envelope with cash for her chosen takeaway too?

3 DDs here. All now adult. Just made sure they knew where to find period supplies - none of the other stuff, which, it seems to me, is making a bigger deal of it than it needs to be and setting up an expectation that pampering and support is needed.

I only ha e 1 DD. She's 13, and got her period at 10y 10m. A few month earlier I'd given her a little zip up bag that Lillets do, which had a selection of sanitary products in, but that day we bought period pants, and she has worn those ever since - also period bikini bottoms which she wears under her swimming costume as needed.

Just don't make a big deal of it.

Painkillers, a shit ton of painkillers if she has periods like mine. It may be worth keeping a few pads in a little bag in her school bag in case she starts at school.

Sounds like an awful lot of effort
I bought the lillets bag someone mentioned (the pads ended up being too small so we ended up with bodyform as they are unscented unlike always. Period pants weren't a thing when dd was younger)
I never did any of the other stuff and definitely no basket!
Some paracetamol and ibuprofen in the house if required.

I feel as if you are making this into a bigger deal then it needs to be. Just stick some supplies that she can easily get to in the bathroom.

Get period pants for her to try
They are a game changer and so much easier than Tampax or pads.

I think you're making way too much of a big deal about it.

Just makes sure she has plenty of sanitary products at hand (whether in the bathroom or her own supply), period pants if she wants to try them, and has access to pain killers.

If you want to buy her other things then don't link them to periods. You're making having a period into a huge event which requires her to need lots of pampering, rather than the perfectly natural occurence that it is.

At 11, it's likely that some of her friends will already have started, so you may find she prefers to talk to them, than you.

'im thinking maybe including a little envelope with cash for her chosen takeaway too?'

Why?

Cash for a takeaway??
Explain periods and how to manage them. Ensure sufficient sanitary ware available at home and for when out/at school.
Sorted.

If she's at secondary school and has a locker, it might be helpful to give her a small bag with pads, spare pants and painkillers in to keep in her locker. Or she could keep at the bottom of her bag.
(although I know that not all will agree with giving a child painkillers for school; my experience was that DD didn't want to go and talk to the school medical room person to get some, and simply spending time doing so took up most of her break, which was an additional barrier - so giving her a couple made her life easier).

OP you sound like a great mum.
But i wouldnt make a big thing out of it i knew about periods at 7yo i was raised in a house of girls the youngest of 8 i didnt need the talk i already knew.
I knew alot more before i was 10.
You do what you feel is best for your child op.

I remember starting my period and my mum came home from work and gave me a hug. Sanitary towels were bought for me and that was the end of that.

It’s sweet that mums now think of all this stuff.

I'm thinking maybe including a little envelope with cash for her chosen takeaway too?

Whatever for?

This seems very over the top. Great to be prepared but it’s also part and parcel of life. I don’t see the need to ‘reward’ periods with food/takeaways/chocolate. Supplies of STs/tampons and a book about her changing body/moods would be more than enough!

Sorry OP but I agree with other posters that this is a bit much.
Our young women will come to expect chocolate and takeaways each month if every mother did this!
As a PP said it’s a natural occurrence so just treat it as such.

I think that whole thing is making way to much of a big deal of it in the 'look, you are now Becoming A Woman' way and is well intentioned but really cringy.

Just stock the bathroom cabinet with a variety of sanitary protection options (not sure id buy pants just yet, they are amazing but assuming she is still growing a bit expensive to have grown out of before the starts) and give her a pencil case with emergency pads for school.

Including skin care and lady shave is just creating an expectation that her period is a huge deal and she should somehow change how she feels and acts just because she has started menstruating. And bath things and wipes? That says to me that periods are somehow dirty and smelly, feminine wipes and washes are generally not recommended. Soap and water is sufficient.
For lack of living in a country that uses bidets or bum guns I am a fan of a peri bottle. You could buy one of those for the bathroom and tell her it's there if she wants it.

She will be the same child the day after her first period as she is before it, giving it this massive weight like its some watershed moment is not a good idea for me.
Your experience was obviously really stressful and totally inappropriate but I think you are overcompensating, open dialogue and clear conversations about what to expect and a good relationship so she knows she can ask you anything is the best things and sounds like you have nailed that already. X

I agree,it's verging on Instagrammy, just give her options of what to use and leave them on the bathroom. She might want to be very private about it.

We didn’t do any of this, my DD started hers when she was 10 no drama, no fuss.
She went to the loo one day, called me and said - “there’s blood” I said ok , I went upstairs showed her where the sanitary towels were, showed her how to put them in her pants. Gave her a hug asked if she had any pain and got on with our day.
She’d always come to the loo with me when she was little so knew what it was, knew it was normal.

Bit OTT. I'd talk to her about moodswings, that's not been mentioned. Explain she may not get them, but if she does then it's natural and will pass.

Chocolate and pain relief yes, a shaver, absolutely no way!

Wow. You’re making it into a mortifying hoop-la. Just make sure she knows there are pads and tampons available and then step back.