Leaving a child at the airport

[Longboardpedro]

I have 3 kids with my wife. She is from Germany but we live in the UK. She had tickets to head back to see family for new years.

Unfortunately my eldest daughter only had 2 months left on her passport so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.

I had to collect her and bring her home whilst my wife carried on with her trip to germany with the 2 other kids. My eldest was heartbroken.

I was shocked, as this is something I could never do. We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things but keen to get some feedback from other parents on their opinions if that was OK?

Because it was his wife who was the one doing the travelling.

If this situation had happened to me, I would have stayed back with all of the children. I could not have enjoyed my time away knowing one of my children was upset. (My DH would be the same.)

We don't have to do everything together, but if the trip was planned with me and my children (I also have 3), I could not have left one behind.

Op this is terrifying that your 9 year old was left alone at the airport until you could get back to get her and she was put in the charge of random airport employees. I'm not surprised you're upset I would be too.

This hasn't been stated anywhere.

The OP has not said any of this!

Jesus Christ. I can just imagine if a dad left his 9 year old alone at the airport to be collected by the mum.

There would be calls of LTB! But a mum does it and its fine. Unbelievable.

Well who minded the 9 year old until the op got back? If it was at the gate that it was discovered, the rest of the family were literally about to get on the plane? And would have gone through security already?

Sorry if I've missed something by the op!

You’ve not missed anything by OP, it’s something that has been puzzling a number of us!

Not only is it fine but it’s all the dads fault and he’s shagging someone else 😂😂😂

I would not have left a 9-year-old behind, no. I may have felt differently about 12+, if Dad could quickly return to collect the child. Depends on the child.

But as it turned out, your wife did make the right call. You collected dc and she was upset but okay.

This assumes that your wife was going to visit family in her home country, somewhere the child has presumably been many times before, and not on a flight to an exciting new holiday destination.

I think her judgement was sound here, and while you or I or others may have decided differently, I think there is a strong case for the decision that was made.

Tricky
I'd have been torn between disappointing one or all three kids and family as well as having to consider the financial implications.
If DH wasn't an actively involved father then I'd probably have cancelled and rebooked, but if you're as actively involved and as loving as my own DH then I'd proceed (with guilt) knowing that he'd do a fantastic job of keeping her entertained. I'd then consider taking left behind daughter for a cheeky weekend further down the line to see her cousins as she is in no way to blame for the expired passport, which really is just one of those things that can happen to anyone.

I also believe that this could happen at the gate. I flew to Europe with dc, and one had just shy of 7 months left on the passport (we knew this before leaving - the trip was for 3 days only). This was flagged only at the gate, not during online check-in or at any other point.

Obviously it was fine as within the limit, but it set off a bleep and a further check. Staff on the gate said to make sure we renew straight away on return as so many people were being caught out.

Assuming you’re correct (I’ve no reason to doubt it) either

• gate crew would have denied boarding to the whole group, which isn’t what OP has said.

Or

• gate crew would have had to arrange an appropriate adult to stay with 9YO and keep their fingers crossed that OP would indeed shortly return to the airport. This would never happen with the likes of Ryanair or EasyJet (staff too busy checking if your hand luggage fits in their gauges to sort out your childcare!). It still seems pretty unlikely with a non- budget airline - it’s just not their job to facilitate this.

The third possibility is that OP’s wife told gate crew she would arrange for hubby to take 9YO home, then dumped her in eg an airside cafe, before returning to the gate to say (lie) that 9YO had now been reunited with OP, and therefore be allowed to board. Airline staff may just have accepted this or turned a blind eye, who knows. This is the least implausible option yet still doesn’t explain how OP and 9YO are then reunited.

No one had come anywhere near to squaring this circle and OP has, ironically, done a bunk himself now!

Indeed I do. People posting on threads they think are bollocks is in fact rather popular on MN.

It would be an interesting experiment to wait a while, post a thread with the sexes reversed and see if there are quite so many people willing to swallow this implausible story if the OP didn't specify they were a man.

I'd probably have done the same as your wife.
If the child's other parent is around and perfectly capable of looking after them then it would be foolish for everyone to miss out on the trip because of one passport.
Yes, sure, your daughter was understandably upset. But I suspect she'd be just as upset if the entire trip was cancelled. And you'd also have other upset children to deal with.
Turn this into a positive and have a fun few days with your daughter - treating her a bit more grown up than when her younger siblings are around. Perhaps let her pick something for dinner, or an activity, do something she's not normally allowed to do (e.g. eat in front of the TV, stay up late) teach her how to do something such as play chess or cook a simple dish - basically the stuff that's not so easy when there are smaller children vying for attention.

Unfortunate situation and lesson learnt about checking passport requirements before travel. I don't think your wife acted badly taking the other kids though.

I think your wife made the best of it by carrying on or her family would be disappointed, she would not get to go home and you would have three upset kids not one. You were at home to take care of the eldest, three others' trips shouldn't get ruined.

Console your oldest, make her time at home as special as you can, get the passport sorted and promise another trip with just her and Mum or everyone as soon as possible. Or if time and work allows get the passport fast-tracked and go together to join them.

There's been a lot in the media and online over the past year or so about passport regs. Strange you must have missed it. Sorry, but you should have checked. Nobody else to blame,

While I don't think life admin should fall under one person, normally it's the person who's travelling responsibility to check passports.

You do know airlines have ground staff don’t you? And they would also be well aware that a passenger could not reunite a child with a groundside parent if they were airside.

I think she did the right thing. I would have done the same. Yes it's sad but these things happen. If you were going then obviously totally unreasonable but her father is at home. What's the issue here? I'm not sure if I believe your "all or nothing" approach either. So you take all the kids out with you at all times whenever you need to take one to do something? Why are you not going? Are you sure you're not just a bit miffed your wife is going away without you, and using this as the excuse to complain and make her feel like crap about it?

It's nice to get other people's opinions as it's not something I would do. I wouldn't go without all my children and would just book flights for another time.

You must have a lot of money to burn.

Makes little sense that a holiday treat for everyone, including the German family eagerly waiting to see their daughter and grandchildren, should be cancelled in its entirety due to ONE fuck up.

I feel sorry for your daughter - she must be so disappointed. But can't see that your wife did anything wrong once the mistake emerged. It was also probably a split-second decision she had to make - didn't have hours to mull it over as there were flights to catch.

Seems odd to say you all go or no one goes when you weren't going. But no big disaster. You get to spend time with your child, your wife and other children get to spend time together with family.

I’d never leave a child behind! I’d re-arrange the flight and apologise to all the children for messing up their break. It’s your wife’s fault and it sounds like she got on the plane because she wanted to go. There’s no reason why she couldn’t have re-arranged. It’s cruel to leave one child behind and take the others.

Agree with this!!

And also who supervised the 9 year old from the gate where they were denied boarding? Your wife just left a 9 year old all alone knowing you weren’t there to get them yet! Kids as young as 9 need supervision - what the hell was she thinking not even waiting for you to collect her?? Unless we’re talking family funeral where she’s grieving too much to think straight selfishness of the highest order!! I would be livid if I was you

I am German and am surprised that the daughter was not allowed to travel even though she still had 2 months left on her passport. Is this normal procedure in Britain? I once showed up at a German airport with an expired passport. The airline sent me over to the Bundespolizei at the airport who issued an extension note, attached it to my passport and I was able to travel.
Given that the OP‘s wife is also German, I think she simply didn‘t think there would be any problems for her daughter.