Leaving a child at the airport

[Longboardpedro]

I have 3 kids with my wife. She is from Germany but we live in the UK. She had tickets to head back to see family for new years.

Unfortunately my eldest daughter only had 2 months left on her passport so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.

I had to collect her and bring her home whilst my wife carried on with her trip to germany with the 2 other kids. My eldest was heartbroken.

I was shocked, as this is something I could never do. We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things but keen to get some feedback from other parents on their opinions if that was OK?

Agree. But I don’t expect that the mother was allowed to board if the airline didn’t have some kind of arrangement (i.e. staff member) in place to deal with the child. If that wasn’t an option, then I’d expect them to all be refused boarding. Obviously we don’t know the precise details of what happened because OP hasn’t provided them, but I suspect that’s a probable scenario.

At the age of 9 I wouldn't have left my child and went away with my other kids. I also believe it should have been up to mum to check passports if she is the one doing the travelling and arranging trip.

This

You can decide to leave a child in someone else’s care though - parents do all the time in schools, clubs, unaccompanied minors service travel, at parties, crèche. There is nothing to suggest here that the mother did not make sure there was someone suitable to accompany her daughter back through security and look after her during the short wait for her father she knew was en route to collect her.

But many people couldnt afford to let all of the flights go to waste and 'just book flights for another time'. I think it's far better to have one disappointed child than ruin the plans for your other children, wife, and in laws at the last minute when they have probably made plans for the visit.

I thought your comment that you either all go or no-one goes was a bit odd, when you weren't part of this trip to start with. Maybe take the trouble to check passport expiry dates yourself in future. The disappointment caused to your nine year old is just as much down to you as it is your wife.

Surely if they were of an age where they were too young to explain to the airport staff wouldn’t have let them be left alone at the gates anyway

I'm confused about this leaving child at the gate discussion. I think I've read all the OP's posts and don't see any reference to leaving the child at the gate? I understood the situation as OP dropped off family at airport, said bye and presumably drove off. The passport expiry would likely have been caught right at check in, whether online or at the counter, so unlikely the situation would have gone beyond that. OP would have had to turn around and pick up the child from the check in area I think. I don't see any reference to the mother having gone off leaving the child standing alone either. Unless I'm missing a massive amount of OP's posts.

I understand why you might have been looking forward to a few days on your own, but that's life when you have children. There is no logical reason why the other members of the party should miss out on the trip.

Leaving a 9 year old child in an airport while I continued on my journey, absolutely not!

I would never disappear on holiday taking 1 sibling and not the other, especially at 9 years old and it is absolutely the fault of the adult they are travelling with, how awful to just say, "sorry, see ya". Hardly a life lesson as a previous poster mentioned, at 9 years old I think you would feel pretty much abandoned!

The lesson should be on the mother, "sorry, I messed up, 1 can't go, so we are all on it together and non of us go".

You say we either all go or no one does. But it doesn't sound like you were going? If you were then, yes she shouldn't be left behind, but she's still with her close family with you.

Shed would be an unaccompanied minor if that had actually happened, yes. It doesn't follow that it did. In particular, the existence on some airlines of an unaccompanied minor service that they didn't book doesn't mean that happened.

Jesus. People are getting so hung up about the minutiae of events. If you think it's a troll report and stop engaging.

None of us know if any poster is real let alone 100% accurate in every detail. In this instance, for me it doesn't matter if it was at boarding or check-in. It's the fact the 9 year old was at the airport expecting to travel to see family for New Year.

OP has never claimed the child was alone in the airport. We simply don't know.

The "all or none" thing is (as has been said before) clearly referring to all who were due to travel!

The only question OP is asking is whether other people would have continued with the trip leaving their 9 year old out.

@butterpuffed

I just wouldn't want my child to feel left behind. I was there, she was upset and I spent the week picking up the pieces. Like I said it's not something i would do, but sounds like it was the right decision.

Op says at least a week , which means not necessarily over this NY.

I didn’t say these mythical childcare staff were hanging around at the gate, not sure where you got that from.

But the scenario you posit seems unlikely in the extreme:

1. OPs wife and kids try to board the plane, with presumably a maximum of about 30 mins until boarding closed.
2. Staff deny boarding to 9 year old child.
3. Wife calls OP to come back to airport and arranges with airline gate staff to summons childcare/child accompanying staff to the gate. Gate staff happily abandon their attempts to board passengers to facilitate this - obviously allowing passengers to abandon children is a greater priority.
4. Child accompanying staff are free and available, can reach the gate within 30 minutes and are happy to do this, even though their actual job is to accompany paying child passengers through the airport so they can take a flight. Necessary contractual arrangements plus any payment is put in place (seems unlikely they would just take responsibility for a random child from a random passenger on the promise that someone should hopefully be coming to pick them up.
5. gate staff resume their boarding duties, wave wife and other kids onto the plane with a cheerful smile while 9 year old sheds a few tears at the gate, accompanied by her new childcarers.

all within 30 minutes.

Mmmmkay.

She wasn’t going on holiday. She was visiting her mum and dad.

Mmmkay indeed!

OP was looking forward to a few days on their own, that's why OP thinks the wife and other children should also have stayed back instead of going? The threads of logic on this thread is amusing.

What a way to completely twist OPs words and make up your own story.

Do you think that the wife also left the 9yo intentionally so she didn’t have to deal with her?
Because that’s what you’re implying.

I wonder if it was the DH who had left the 9yo if you would also be accusing the wife of wanting childfree time instead?

I don’t know why OPs say they are men.

You can never get unbiased replies when you say you’re a man and instead get pathetic replies like this, which don’t even make sense and aren’t helpful.

OP’s original post:
“so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.”

My point still stands!

I would not leave my 9 year old at the airport to travel to visit family. Infact my own parents would have been horrified if I left them behind and continued on my way to see them.

I would have cancelled and rearranged!

There’s been multiple ‘if the sexes were reversed’ posts and I think the answer would be the same for most, actually. The OP being a man is immaterial in the final decision.

If I picture myself as the one at home in this situation, I might have been looking forward to time alone. Given a choice between having a miserable husband and 3 children at home or one and one time with my eldest, I’d much prefer that and would be quite excited about planning some more ‘grown up’ things we can’t do because the youngest is usually with us. I’d make it a really special time so instead of feeling like the eldest had missed out, they’ll have this lovely memory.

I mean it’s all very well saying you’d come back home… but then what? 3 disappointed children, family disappointed on the other side, stuck at home and all of them getting under OP’s feet. I don’t see how that could be better outcome.

Thanks. I missed that.

I think 9 is too young to be left alone at an airport. I'd just see if I could get a later flight after daughter had been safely collected.

It's worth keeping in mind that your wife probably had literally minutes to decide between two bad options, whilst airline staff were hurrying her along. There might even have been someone trying to be helpful saying 'don't worry, we have someone who can look after her until Dad comes.. '. I'm not sure many people could think clearly and always make the 'best' decision in this situation, especially if weighing up leaving her vs the disappointment of younger children, elderly relatives, maintaining links with home etc

So your alternative is the gate staff say ‘no you can’t board’ to one of their minor passengers and tell them to go home alone, pausing only long enough to off-load their luggage, and the airport would be happy for the airline to do this?