My 3yo daughter just went and got chocolate when I said no

[RedRobyn2021]

We do advent calendars in the afternoon because otherwise she obsesses over chocolate all day

She woke up this morning asking for chocolate and I said, no problem you can have some as part of your snack later. She wasn't happy with this and cried

I'm 37 weeks pregnant and have been awake since 4:30 so asked her to get her dad (who was asleep in the other room) to help her get some breakfast because she's hungry. He didn't get up so she went downstairs and helped herself to some chocolate. Just one piece, but she came to tell me she had it before she ate it and I told her not to eat it but to put it back, but she ate it anyway.

I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed she ate it and I'm annoyed at her dad and I'm also really tired.

Do I just forget about it? She's only 3 for gods sake

Or do I say, no chocolate in your calendar later?

Like I cba with any of this, this isn't just about this one incident, it's happening a lot where she's struggling with her feelings and I'm like "am I doing the right thing?" Boundaries are important right? They make children feel safe. But also am I taking it too far?

Please be kind

all you have taught her now is that your word/rules do not matter and can be broken with no consequences

Not everything is a life lesson, sometimes a 3 year old is just going to act like a 3 year old.

She's only 3 and she stopped at one! I'm nearly 40 and I would have scoffed the lot.

I'm with the majority here, no big deal and not her fault. She is only three.

And she's not the only one, this video gave me a laugh yesterday

https://x.com/KaylaReporting/status/1604921050437152768

3 year olds have little impulse control... I took my eyes off mine for 10 minutes on the first day and she opened every door on the advent calendar (didn't eat any chocolate though, just opened all the doors). Can't really be mad though, shes barely a step above a baby in reality and its all new and exciting to her as she can't remember previous years.

Aw she’s only three. What harm has really been done? It’s exciting to have chocolate every morning for advent.

When I was seven my three year old sister got up early, ate every single one of my advent chocolates, and sealed the windows back up with drawing pins inside.

The impulse control thing is so true. That will come.
My two, two years apart did so many rascally things together which started as little experiments but ended up much more extra just because they did't know when to stop. Trying mummy's make up - and it ended up all over them and the bathroom; cutting the younger one's hair, which ended up with the world's worst pixie cut.
We laugh about this now. And those terrible under-fours ended up sensible grown ups who can manage mortgages and everything.

Oh and climbing up onto a counter to access the newly decorated xmas cake....

Funny then and now. Cut yourself and your child some slack OP x

Your updates make it sound worse TBH. You were fully awake when you sent her into her dad and aware because you were in bed with tea that he hadn't got up with her.

I don't understand why you didn't wake him up yourself given you were already up and about.

I know lots of mumsnetters think it's fine for very young children to be downstairs getting their own breakfast while the parents stay in bed but I don't - I don't think under 4-5s should be unsupervised downstairs because they are very capable of climbing onto stools and accessing things their parents don't want them to access. You're lucky it was just a chocolate.

I'll be honest op I just do advent calendar first thing then it's done and out the way. It's what I did as a kid. The chocolate is absolutely tiny.

Also I'm sorry but she was a hungry 3 year old and neither parents were feeding her. By a 3 year olds logic I don't think she really did anything too bad.

Do you know anything about child development and the pre frontal cortex? It's not your 3 year olds fault, they literally just are not rational!
the brains of toddlers and young children are not like ours. They lack the part of the brain that controls impulse control, decision-making, making sound judgements and complex thinking. Because the prefrontal cortex is still developing, children rely on the amygdala to make decisions and solve problems more than adults do. The amygdala is associated with emotions, impulses, aggression and instinctive behavior. It takes 20 years to fully develop!