Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

My 3yo daughter just went and got chocolate when I said no

111 replies

RedRobyn2021 · 05/12/2024 07:05

We do advent calendars in the afternoon because otherwise she obsesses over chocolate all day

She woke up this morning asking for chocolate and I said, no problem you can have some as part of your snack later. She wasn't happy with this and cried

I'm 37 weeks pregnant and have been awake since 4:30 so asked her to get her dad (who was asleep in the other room) to help her get some breakfast because she's hungry. He didn't get up so she went downstairs and helped herself to some chocolate. Just one piece, but she came to tell me she had it before she ate it and I told her not to eat it but to put it back, but she ate it anyway.

I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed she ate it and I'm annoyed at her dad and I'm also really tired.

Do I just forget about it? She's only 3 for gods sake

Or do I say, no chocolate in your calendar later?

Like I cba with any of this, this isn't just about this one incident, it's happening a lot where she's struggling with her feelings and I'm like "am I doing the right thing?" Boundaries are important right? They make children feel safe. But also am I taking it too far?

Please be kind

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
CautiousLurker1 · 05/12/2024 07:32

jennywrites · 05/12/2024 07:13

"I know you were excited to have your chocolate this morning and it's hard to wait. I need you to wait until after breakfast, so I'm going to move the calendar, and mummy or daddy will reach one down for you tomorrow morning"

This. It’s no big deal, really, is it?

Noodlesnotstrudels · 05/12/2024 07:32

Solidarity, OP. The threes are an extremely testing time. Even worse than the supposed "terrible twos" in my opinion, which largely passed unnoticed in our house.

We do advent calendars in the evening as well but DD1 is in nursery during the day so there is never really time in the mornings. Could you get a non chocolate one and let her have that one in the morning and then the chocolate one in the evening? DD1 is in a mad Frozen phase after going to a party where there was an Elsa impersonator so DH found a cheap Frozen advent calendar which has a hair accessory behind every door (like a hairclip or a scrunchie). It's super easy to just pop that in her hair and off she goes without thinking about chocolate.

scotstars · 05/12/2024 07:32

Pick your battles with a 3yo. 1 piece of advent calendar chocolate in the morning for this month is not going to harm her. My son (and most kids I know) eat their choc soon as they wake...

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds 3rd trimester Families General pregnancy
boriam · 05/12/2024 07:35

I would let her have it first thing in the morning so then it's over and done with.

At 3, she's bound to eat chocolate if it's within reach, and most wouldn't listen to being told no in that situation.

I w

boriam · 05/12/2024 07:35

I would let it go. It's not worth the hassle.

custardpyjamas · 05/12/2024 07:35

She's three if you left the chocolate where she can reach it, and she got no breakfast so is hungry what do you expect?

Put it all where she can't reach and then you are in charge of when she gets it, although I agree early in the day is easier than making her wait until the afternoon. And praise for her telling you she had got the chocolate before she ate it, if you criticise, next time she will just eat it!

BeMintBee · 05/12/2024 07:35

Meh, the concept of an advent calendar and one chocolate a day is a bit much for some 3 year olds and really if no one is getting up to make her breakfast then the fact she wandered off and found chocolate instead is no surprise really.

TinyMouseTheatre · 05/12/2024 07:35

And I'm a fair bit older than your DD and I still struggle with delayed gratification some days Grin

Gardendiary · 05/12/2024 07:36

Advent calendar in the morning - this is not a cross you want to die on.
Your dh is to blame for this particular instance anyway, what sort of control could you expect from a 3 yo who was hungry and wasn’t being given breakfast?

SapphireOpal · 05/12/2024 07:37

GreenFlamingo11 · 05/12/2024 07:12

What do you expect her to do if she's three years old and neither parent is getting up to make her breakfast?

This.

You have a DH problem not a DD problem. She was hungry and she could reach the chocolate and noone would help her get anything else for breakfast. I don't blame her in the slightest.

Motnight · 05/12/2024 07:38

Someone also needs to get up when your DD does, Op. A 3 year old in my opinion shouldn't be unsupervised.

But the advent calendar is no biggie as others have said.

FrenchandSaunders · 05/12/2024 07:38

I love the fact she brought it back to you to tell you then ate it anyway 😂she sounds fab.

But I’m not pregnant and tired so you would have a different perspective OP. Give her a hug and forget about it.

kiraric · 05/12/2024 07:39

3 year olds need to be properly supervised and fed.

She could have decided to make her own breakfast and got into more issues/mess/even danger.

Maurepas · 05/12/2024 07:39

Bring in the chocolate police.

Behindthethymes · 05/12/2024 07:40

At that age one of mine ate 15 pieces of advent chocolate behind the couch while I was changing a nappy. Your dd is a model of restraint!

roses2 · 05/12/2024 07:41

Why did you go and tell her to wake sleeping DH if you were already awake?

Toomanyvampires · 05/12/2024 07:47

I think she did well to have one piece! A hungry chocolate loving 3 year old! No big deal let her have the calendar later and don’t allow this to be a bigger drama than it needs to be - if your husband rolled over and went back to sleep maybe, he like all of you, is just really tired. Your pregnancy hormones and tiredness make you more cross than you need to be.

Matformouse · 05/12/2024 07:47

We used to have a stair gate at the top of our stairs to stop 3 year old wandering downstairs when we were asleep.

3 year olds are known as threenagers. They test the boundaries, they are becoming more independent. You might find her really useful when the new baby arrives. My 3 year old loved being a big sister and doing things to help me. She was also very stubborn though. I followed positive parenting techniques.

I think it's your DHs fault your DD got the chocolate. Chocolate is too tempting for a 3 year old to resist, if she's able to access it herself. I think next time you give her chocolate you could praise her for waiting for you to give it to her, but wouldn't tell her off for your DHs failure to get up with his child.

bigkidatheart · 05/12/2024 07:50

Just being cheeky - however you mentioned you were pregnant. Expect those boundaries to be pushed over the next few months, testing the waters

Forgottenwhatitwas · 05/12/2024 08:14

I wouldn't worry about it. And always keep chocolate out of reach of 3 year olds 😂 rookie mistake.

Icanttakethisanymore · 05/12/2024 08:17

I don’t think this is terrible behaviour from a 3yo. Move the chocolate so she can’t get it on her own and don’t worry about it.

Glittertwins · 05/12/2024 08:17

Forgottenwhatitwas · 05/12/2024 08:14

I wouldn't worry about it. And always keep chocolate out of reach of 3 year olds 😂 rookie mistake.

Make that out of reach from when they can stand up...I learnt that the hard way 😆

Itissunnysomewhere · 05/12/2024 08:21

Keep it out of reach? My sister used to shout at her child all the time for helping himself to snacks but she put them in a cupboard he could easily access...

Or just relax and let her have it for breakfast?

And you and your DH between you need to make sure she is getting breakfast

Itissunnysomewhere · 05/12/2024 08:22

BeMintBee · 05/12/2024 07:35

Meh, the concept of an advent calendar and one chocolate a day is a bit much for some 3 year olds and really if no one is getting up to make her breakfast then the fact she wandered off and found chocolate instead is no surprise really.

Agree, at least she showed initiative

Thehorseintheswamp · 05/12/2024 08:27

Honestly what do you expect a 3 year old to do when her parents lie in bed and will not get up with her to get her breakfast? I think she is doing so well to have only taken one piece when there is a chocolate calendar in easy reach and no adults present.