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Original poster

Trapped in my pefect life

126 replies

pollyesther · 29/04/2008 09:50

Last night i had trouble sleeping and was thinking about my life. I haven't felt 'happy' for a long time and i realised that i feel trapped in my life.

On paper I would appear to have it all, 2 children who are (most of the time) wonderful. A great husband, a beautiful house and we are not short of money. However, i feel lonely. My husband is often away, my house is in the middle of nowhere and my friends all work full time.
I've talked to my husband about this but he just thinks i need to get out more. I go to the gym but don't meet people. Shopping is only fun with someone to go with. I feel like all around me life is passing by. I have considered getting a job but that brings new worries like who is around during the day if they're unwell or if they need medication (our school won't admininster it) who could give to them. They would miss me helping on school trips too.

Has anyone else hit this crossroad and what did you do? I suppose it has hit me harder as my youngest just started school.

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Grav1 · 29/04/2008 10:57

I think voluntary work would be a good idea for you pollyesther. I got into a rut a few years ago and felt bored and lonely. I find it hard to make friends and felt as though I had noone to turn to (have only recently found MN). I got a lunchtime job at dc's school and throughly enjoyed it. So much so that I decided that I would like to do a childcare course. I didnt want to work as like you I have no one that I could turn to if the dc's were ill and anyway I would feel guilty if I was at work whilst they were ill. I volunteered to help out at another local school and did my NVQ 2 in Childcare, Learning and Development. This worked well as if the kids were ill I could ring in and say sorry I cant come in. I got out a couple of times during the week, had loads of company and gained a qualification which will be useful when the kids are older.(Also made a very good friend at College).

FYIAD · 29/04/2008 10:57

I would kill myself if I was lonely and ended up doing a flower arrangeing course

try charity work.

FluffyMummy123 · 29/04/2008 10:57

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brimfull · 29/04/2008 10:57

"I am the odd one out on the playground, probably the only one that can afford private school but choose not to as i don't think we would fit in and besides the children are happy where they are. I was not bought up with money and it is right what people say it can be as much of a curse as it is a blessing!"

bollocks

FluffyMummy123 · 29/04/2008 10:58

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Psychomum5 · 29/04/2008 11:00

if you have lots of money tho, you could afford the petrol to go visit lots of MN'ers around the country and report back how wonderful they all are.

seriously tho......do charity work, or get them into ballet or other after school clubs....I have made lots of friends thro my kiddies!!!!

brimfull · 29/04/2008 11:01

i AGREE COD
this is a wind up

TillyScoutsmum · 29/04/2008 11:01

Polly - I sometimes get lonely too. I have dd at home with me and work from home but just miss adult company sometimes. Dp also works away a lot.

Can you get out to meet some of your working friends in their lunch hours ? Just breaks the day up and gives you chance to get out.

Studying is a good option and OU is very flexible but a local college may be better for getting you some company in the day time. You still then get time for your holidays etc and don't need to worry about childcare.

Can you help out at a local mother and toddler group or something else on a voluntary and flexible basis ?

Whereabouts are you ?

Original poster
pollyesther · 29/04/2008 11:02

Cod, why do you find this so funny? You are exactly the type of person that makes talking about my life so difficult. This is why i can't discuss this with friends because as far as they are concerened I'm lucky and that's the end of it.

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 29/04/2008 11:03

Mother's little helper

CrushWithEyeliner · 29/04/2008 11:03

Had lots of sympathy at first but you are being a bit annoying now

Why don't you listen to some of the advice people have given you here? What about the charity work? There are LOADS of things you can do to meet people.
Do you really want to do something with your life or just have a moan on the internet?

FluffyMummy123 · 29/04/2008 11:04

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CountessDracula · 29/04/2008 11:04

Are you depressed do you think?

bringmesunshine · 29/04/2008 11:04

I actually like flower arranging FYIAD

FYIAD · 29/04/2008 11:04

ok

so you have money

your kdis have gone to school

you feel bored and lonely

are you getting on well with your dh?

I honestly think charity work will help - it will make you realise how lucky you are if nothing else!

sleepycat · 29/04/2008 11:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FYIAD · 29/04/2008 11:05

not a course though (the flower arranging)

not when you are olnly going to meet people

that NEVER works

TheFallenMadonna · 29/04/2008 11:05

You are lucky. There are loads of options available to you. You are using your children as an excuse for inertia. Which is understandable. But presumably you posted here to get the shove you need?

FYIAD · 29/04/2008 11:06

how old are your kids? there must be loads you could do with them - after school clubs, help out at ballet etc etc

Oliveoil · 29/04/2008 11:06

mmmmm, you sound very bored and tbh I think you need a reality check

voluteer at a homeless shelter or somewhere and see how lucky you are

whenever I get moany I give myself a slap round the face and tell myself to get a grip and count my blessings

you have to make an effort to make friends and find life fulfilling tbh and you are in a rut

FYIAD · 29/04/2008 11:07

yes agree about slap round face

I get angsty and I have lovely privileged life in the main

Oliveoil · 29/04/2008 11:08

for eg, did you like netball at school, I diid and have now investigated doing in in the evening at my local gym

now I may hate it (probably) but I may love it and my meet new people

you will not know until you try

also, you may come across as snooty or snobby at the school gates, sorry, but from your posts you do

maybe arrange a playdate with someone and then next week someone else

there will be someone on your wavelength surely?

Oliveoil · 29/04/2008 11:10

me too

we are not rich, not poor, but fine

but I still moan

slap round the face sorts it out

have to go and do some work now, get off your arse and do something TODAY

go online at your local council website and find something

ChocolateRockingHorse · 29/04/2008 11:15

Cod and co.. stop being norty and mean, I don't think this IS a wind up or that Polly is being deliberately inflammatory.. and trust, me having money is as far beyond the reaches of my imagination as it could possibly be..

And Polly IS discussing people's advice, not ignoring it.

SSSandy2 · 29/04/2008 11:16

you don't meet people through the dc polly, who you get along well with, could see more of?

What about joining some kind of group activity like a choir (if you can sing obviously) or a team sport? I would agree that the gym may not be a place you'd really get to know people but a beginner's yoga course might be

Do a language course? Train to teach English as a foreign language and teach the odd course when you have time?

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