When did you first have a child free night?

[makemineadecaf]

Ds is 2y9m and has never been away from me overnight. Since he's been born dh and I have had five lunches or dinners just the two of us but always back by 9pm latest. I'm fine with this. I don't feel I'm missing out or anything but dh seems to think we should have left him (with my parents) overnight by now.

About year ago, when DS was 2.5 years old, he stayed the night with my MIL. DH was working away and I got really ill so she offert to take him for the night. Other than that I have not seen the need. Also he still wants me to sleeps with him halfway through night so I don't think he is ready.

But we do occasionally go out until late and have someone babysit. And he spends at least one weekend day a month with my MIL so we can do things we want/need to do without him.

I think when ds1 was 3 but only when in hospital for a couple of weeks. After that 1 night for work. We’ve had the odd evening out without them but I don’t care about staying overnight elsewhere. No family nearby anyway

My youngest is almost 6 and while we have both had child free nights separately, we've never had one together.

My DD is 14 months and has had a couple of sleepovers at my mum's since she was 9 months old. My DM looks after her 2 days are week though and they are super close, she also only lives 15 minutes away so we felt comfortable. Appreciate we are lucky to have this option though.

When our daughter was about 4 months she started staying overnight at grandparents, this was about once a month from then on (occasionally for up to 4 nights if me and DH went away abroad/to wedding). Currently she's away a few nights a week as I'm pregnant and it's easier than doing the early morning drop off

I can't remember exactly, but I expect oldest DC was under a year old, I'd hazard around 8-9 months. We were fortunate, though, because a) both sets of grandparents lived nearby and b) DC was a pretty solid sleeper after 3 months so didn't feel like too much to ask. We left them with my parents for a couple of nights to go for a weekend away when they were about a year old.

I think it's good to get them used to sleeping elsewhere sometimes if both the baby and the carers will cope OK!

psrents of three, never had a night away from all three together although we’ve had individual nights away for various reasons. It’s been 13 years.

DH and I have had one in 9 years and that was when DD2 was born and we were at the hospital.

DH and I have had two child-free nights since DD was born (she’s now 10) - one Brownie camp a couple of years ago and a sleepover at a friend’s house a couple of months ago. We don’t have family nearby to have sleepovers with grandparents. We’ve each had a few nights away on our own (visiting elderly parents, sibling birthday celebrations, work trip), and have had a few nights out using a babysitter (home by 11pm). When DD was in nursery, we’d sometimes take a day of annual leave together and go out for lunch. Harder to do once she started school and annual leave was needed to cover holidays!

It has been hard, and I do feel envious of friends who get frequent babysitting and overnight stays with family. However, even if we lived near grandparents, I doubt it would have happened for us due to their age and health issues. Even now, I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting DD stay with them on her own despite her being a sensible ten year old, simply because they are struggling now.

If your parents are willing, I would gently suggest that you do take them up on their offer. It’s easy to get lost in the roles of mum and dad and forget about being a couple, and that can damage your relationship with your spouse. It would also be nice for your DS to have those times with his grandparents.

PiL were visiting and we booked the hotel at the health club - not quite so far to stagger home! Although by the time the occasion arrived I knew I was pregnant so was sober after all.

Which means it must have been when S1 was 2y7m.

The next time we actually Drove Away and left them, with my dad and sister. They were 7y8m and 4y4m.

Not at all yet (nearly 2.5) although expecting again so anticipating the hospital being my first night away. Yay. What a treat 😂

DD was nearly a year old. It wasn’t a deliberate choice to leave it that long, just the way it worked out. DD2 just arrived though and we’ll definitely not be waiting so long this time.

I've had my grandchild overnight about half dozen times ...they are one
His parents were comfortable and happy with this and I was confident and thrilled to do it
No right or wrong answer
Your choice

We’ve had one in 8.5 years and it took 6.5 years to get that. Those of you with healthy, local and willing grandparents - I envy you!!

Although I guess it was only two years if you count the night I was giving birth to my second child 🥴

No nights away since children, eldest is 10...

A few nights a year since youngest was 18 months. About the same when oldest was little (big gap with no nights away due to middle child and covid). No family help so we do babysitting swaps with friends and budget for paid babysitters.
If you've got willing trusted family, I'd bite their hands off for the chance! Does wonders for a marriage imo.

When we just had the eldest, he was 9 months old and we had a night away.

We have hit the other stage now, eldest (23) has lived away now for 3 years at Uni. Youngest is 18 but has just flown to the States for just over 2 months, so it’s just the two of us again now. Feels really odd. Youngest will be at Uni from September, so we have 2 months to get used to just the two of us again.

My DD was 2.5 but it was under sad circumstances as her dad died suddenly and I was deep in grief. She's 6 now and stays away once or twice a month so I can have a social life.

It's an individual decision but I'd say of your child is nearly 3 and your husband wants a night off for the two of you, I'd be seriously considering that, I don't think he's unreasonable to want that at all.

6 weeks old with both of mine. Stayed with GPs. And at least once a month since then.

DS was 6 weeks old, he stayed with my parents while we went to a wedding. DS2 was 3 weeks old and he stayed with my parents with 21 month old DS1 while we went to another wedding. I was early 20s though, a lot more laid back than I am now!

My mum had my DD overnight at 3 days old as I was in hospital and my husband was with me. She then had her once a week until she was 6 months old as I needed it. And then less frequently. I suspect that's unusual though. DD is 21 now and has a good relationship with her grandparents!