Hi all,
Some background. I'm a divorced dad with a 13yod and a 8yod. I'm happily in a relationship, as is my ex wife. We both have been for the last 6 years, our relationship with bio mum is generally fantastic all round with all parties.
So there has been some changes with my eldest when she turned a teenager. She had gone from being really involved in family activities, quality time together (when she is at ours), when she turned a teenager, she was in her room all the time, didn't really engage much, only to come down for tea or, if we were going on holidays. I understand this is a teenage thing. I'm good with that, as long as she is happy then so am I.
Recently she has started not coming over on the week days they are on my schedule. My youngest loves coming over at any opportunity. She still comes over on the scheduled weekends but again, stuck in her bedroom, no engagement with anything, but the time I've spent with her to check if she is OK she says she fine and is just doing what all teenagers do...
Recently she was meant to come over in the week as scheduled but had another engagement but promised she would come over the following week. She let me down and I was very sad about it, she basically just didnt turn up and didnt tell me until i called her. These instances are becoming more and more often. My gf suggested I have a chat with her just to confirm if she is ok and that we are sad we don't hear from her anymore, she doesn't respond well to texts, basic communication, unless something is in it for her, we don't hear or see her as much. We just want to know why she doesn't want to come round anymore.
Anyway, I had that much needed 121 with her and she was sad that I was sad because I barely see her anymore, and it turns out she just feels more at home at her mums house (which is around the corner). We try so hard to do things with her, exciting things, but she just isn't interested. She admitted she has a closer relationship with her mum which I totally get, they're both female, more common ground, I have no issue with that. But it hurts me when she comes around and just wants to stay in her room the whole time. She said she doesn't want to stop coming round, she just finds it awkward sitting downstairs with us, not knowing what to say, I've said we don't need to talk about anything, it's about being together and spending time with eachother. My girlfriend is really upset that she thinks the way things are now, she is so worried that as my daughter gets older, she feels the relationship with continue to fade and there won't be a relationship between us. They both get on so there is no issue between them. She's more concerned about me and my relationship with my daughter.
Has anyone gone through similar and how did you address or cope with it?
Thank you for reading.