Calling all advice for blending families, is it worth it or best to live separately?
Back story: partner and I have been together over two years, in love and have children separately, he has two almost teens and I have almost 6 years old. We live apart and I love my own time ( I work full-time, study and have young one 90% of the time, dad has her two weekends a month).
anyway, I love my partner and we have spoken about marriage and moving in, but the idea of potentially having all children together full-time scares the shit out of me ( he Co-parents so has kids 50/50, good relationship with mum and she is a lovely person so no bad blood here). Whenever I get excited about us all eventually living together , I freak out and second guess myself. Sometimes when we talk he’ll say stuff like “they will eventually not have a set routine and may come and live with us full-time if they want) which I know is a possibility but I don’t think I can cope, even though my little one will be with us full-time (he’s fully aware of this so no nasty surprises), I also do everything for my daughter, he will not be involved in picking her up, cooking etc I wouldn’t allow it, she’s mine. I dont’t know if I can be a proper stepmom, I don’t think I want to be, im quite independent and raise my daughter with firm boundaries however, his children seem to do what they want and have their dad wrapped around their fingers (guilt of divorce etc).. anyway, is it worth moving in together (will be our home equally). I value my “own” time and im scared. I love him and he is a great person, I just don’t love the blended family idea.