When did you first leave baby?

[FloralMoon]

Hi all, I’m a first time Mum to our beautiful son and wondering when people tend to leave them for a little while?

He’s EBF (although the first few weeks I was exclusively pumping and bottle feeding - it was a journey but we got here!)
In my antenatal group for example, there are quite a few couples who’ve had lunches/dinners out, spa sessions, hairdresser appointments, ‘drinks with the girls’ etc. even overnights, and left baby with grandparents during this time. Even some friends of ours attended a wedding/overnight stay without their baby when their little one was 9 weeks old.

I’m definitely not wanting to do that at all at this point - I simply don’t want to not be with my baby.
The main reason I ask is that my hubby and I have a special anniversary when baby will be 4.5 months old and my Mum has offered to babysit for a few hours so we can go out for dinner. She is a lovely Grandma and wouldn’t be worried about him being in her care at all - only that he’s never not been with me.

I can pump/we have a freezer full of milk so the feeding isn’t a problem necessarily but equally he is now used to bf and it won’t be the same feeding/comfort experience for him.

On the other side I think it’s important to have a date night and a bit of time ‘adult time’ as a couple to ensure our relationship still has time made especially for it.

Basically I’m on the fence. I’m feeling like 4.5 months is too young to not be with Mum - but it’s literally for maybe 3 hours, good for our relationship and I’m probably overthinking it?! I guess it’s one of those different for everyone things…

Everyone is different, you have to do what you are ok with.

I left my DD with my husband or my mum from about 6 weeks old to get my hair done, go for a swim/gym classes etc.

My mum had DD overnight about once a month from 8 weeks so we could have a date night, or if we had weddings/nights out with friends etc.

I first left mine with my parents at about 4 months old, while we went to my partner's nan's funeral. He was absolutely fine and I needn't have worried.

Yes I think you’re right - and having some time for yourself or your relationship is a lovely option that I guess not everyone gets to have.

I needn’t have worried - that’s something to keep in mind!
I’m sure it would be fine, but it feels like something in me just doesn’t want to. I’m actually hoping I’ll feel less like that in a few weeks cause really do like the idea of a date night and don’t want to forget to nurture relationship.

Mines 9 months I've only left her to go to the shop quickly 😂 we have a night out next month and a day out the month after I've been stressed since I booked it 😂.

It depends. I think mine were fairly small when I went to the shop alone quickly.
For a night out, they were over a year and when I had stopped breastfeeding.

I think it would do good for you to leave your son with your mum so you can have a date with your husband. My mum was with us until our DD was 3.5m so I was able to go to hairdressers etc but I really wish we had had a date night out in a restaurant or something with my DH during those months to reconnect as a couple.

Aaah bless you! Yeah I feel a bit stressed but also that I might enjoy it?!

My daughter was 4 weeks old when she stayed over the weekend at nana and grandads, I desperately needed the rest. I had an emergency section after 10 hours of labour, then was re admitted with an infection in the wound, absolute nightmare.

When you say a night out do you mean like I’ve suggested - a few hours for dinner? or something longer? I wouldn’t do more than that any time soon

I EBF til 6 months but brought one expressed bottle per day in quite early on, that hIs dad gave to him.
everyone is different but even though I didn’t ever leave him for any extended time period, I felt like I had to know that I COULD if that makes sense? Eg if there was some sort of unplanned issue I would know that he could happily take a bottle and not be distressed by my absence
If that’s something you wanted to think about doing, then you can take your time deciding if or when you might like to go out / leave him with your mum for a while.
As others have said it’s just up to you when or if you feel it’s right for you and your baby
Congratulations and enjoy

Aah poor you - that sounds like a very different reason and definitely fair enough!! Glad you got some rest and knew baby was well taken care of so you could look after yourself.
Hope all okay now x

3 hours in the care of your mom at 4.5 months old sounds fine to me. I don't have any family close by so never had the chance to have a date night or anything like that. My little one is almost 2 and started at his childminders this week. Its the longest he's been away from me his whole life. Believe me, if you've got a lovely mom who's willing to babysit for you to have a date night, grab the opportunity

Thank you it’s nice to hear understanding of - as you put it - reconnecting as a couple.
We do an awful lot together but understandably it all centres around baby at the mo!

About 5 months for emergency operation, otherwise we didn’t do going out without the baby really. For us it was fine. Some couples need meals out and time together, we just didn’t.

Do it OP, it'll be good for all of you.

Yes that’s definitely reassuring to know the option is there. Because he was initially on bottled breast milk I know he is able to take a bottle if needed which is great

1 year only because my sister had a baby same age and she offered to BF her for me and l had an hospital appointment.
Other than that was age 2 when l stopped breast feeding.
Never used a bottle at all.
I did express but that was milk l donated to the maternity hospital.

You’re right and it sounds absolutely fine hearing it simplified like that.

I hope it all goes well with the childminder! Best of luck x

Everyone and every baby is different mine is almost 14 weeks and I definitely couldn't leave her she is a nightmare for sleeping so fussy . Them other babies are perfectly content to be looked after or put to sleep by anyone .

I left mine with my parents who were visiting at 3 weeks to go to a friends leaving party and again for Halloween party at 4 weeks.

He was fine, I was expressing and introduced a bottle from 2 weeks. It was good for us to get out and we live on a small island so I could get home quickly if I wanted.

It's totally personal choice, I knew I had to leave mine sooner rather than later as I was back at work FT when he was 4 months as we didn't get longer mat cover here.

I had to nip the shops the day after DD was born as newborn nappies were too big, she was diddy. She was left with her Dad.

When she was 5 days old I (foolishly) went to my work Xmas Do. DD was with DM for the evening, we didn't last long, a couple of hours max, way too tired. I was determined to push myself to do everything, I remember going to the Trafford Centre with her when she was 3 weeks old. After that, we didn't have much spare cash to go out much.

With DD2, I was far more chilled about doing too much. I did leave her with DH at 6m for my SILs hen do weekend in Amsterdam but I stopped EBF with both of them at 12weeks.

They're teens now and seem untraumatised by it.

I didn’t leave mine overnight until they were over 2… we didn’t have any need to really and I didn’t want to anyway… my SiL left hers with my mum overnight at 6 weeks so I looked like an overprotective mum but I didn’t care 😂 for a few hours in the eve 4.5 months is fine if you want to… maybe be close so you are reassured that if you needed to get back then you could? If you’d feel happier with a takeaway at home then do that? Don’t go and then hate it!

@FloralMoon just be aware that because he took it then doesn’t mean he will take it now. Mine was on a daily expressed bottle from his dad from age 2 or 3 weeks with no issues. At 11 weeks he totally rejected it - I assume he’d worked out there was a nicer more cuddly option as when he’d spent an hour rejecting it he was brought to me for a feed.
After a week of this, the advice I was given was to sterilise 4 bottles rather than one and split the milk into four. Then when he rejected the bottle and it was spoiled after an hour, when he cried again to feed he was offered the next bottle rather than being brought to me. I stayed away throughout (it was stressful!) and by bottle 3 he took it as well as bottle 4 and we never had the issue again!
hopefully your little one is less stubborn!

I started leaving baby with DH from 6 weeks, to go to yoga class and swimming on my own. It's always going to be hard, and I figured better to do it sooner. Honestly I'd try and do it - it's important to do things for your relationship. Just go locally. What's the worst that can happen? you can always just come home.