Toddler refusing to wear nappies

[SillyNavySnail]

Toddler is 2yr8 months.

She doesn't know when she needs to poo or pee, she usually tells me when she's done a poo and wants a clean nappy, but sometimes won't tell me and I don't realise for a while. Other times I can smell it, ask her and she may Sat yes, but she may say no.

She went through a stage of protesting nappies, been generally OK the last few months, but today refused to wear it, then fell asleep on sofa, so I had to shove a blanket under her, in a hope it would save the sofa..

On waking, refusing nappy.

We got a potty a few months ago, which is a game to her. She sat on it a bit for fun, sometimes did a poo, then pulled down nappy to sit on potty, so poo fell on floor

Although she doesn't know when she needs to go, I'd have said she's still not ready.. am I wrong?

We have a 16 month, so not sure how to navigate potty training now or in the future, as a potty can't just be left out

Any help or advice please x

So yesterday from starting at 3pm, she had 5 pees on the floor/blanket on sofa, 2 of which ended in the potty. About 7.50, into a nappy.

Woke up 6.50, soaking nappy. Refused potty. Downstairs, nappy off, drink and yogurt, 25min later put her on potty "noooo" & climbed onto sofa...

You just have to keep going. Five pees, two of which ended in the potty is OK.

Will she sit on the toilet instead of the potty?

We don't have a kid seat for toilet yet, but I've ordered one for both toilets which will arrive in a few days.

Dad is with them now, as I'm going to work in a min. I really think he's not going to do brilliantly with it, as is on phone and half watching her/baby mostly, so not fast to react to pee starting.. let's see how he does. I can hear him saying "pee pee / potty?". obv she ignores or says no, I did yell him not to ask, but say "potty time" & plonk her on it frequently.

1hr40 since night time nappy came off. I'll be back 4pm-ish

So, partner put a nappy on her whilst getting baby to nap...

Beforehand she said "not like it" to potty and doesn't want to use it.

And before this 3 pees on floor. Finished by time he got her to potty. First time in a tantrum and she threw the potty over baby gate.

I bet she'll be in nappy all afternoon.

Do I take nappy straight off, try again tomorrow. Or give it 2 weeks? When I can be home for 3 days, rather than rely on partner

I'm sorry op but this kind of thing drives me mad.

Yeah if you wait until she's 3/4 she might just "decide" she's gonna use the toilet and you won't have to put any effort in.

Alternatively, you can get books on potty training for you and kid themed ones for her. You can explain it. You can watch for her ques for needing to go, prompt, make a massive fuss of what a big, clever girl she is. Some use stickers or chocolate buttons. Put puppy pads or towels on the sofa. When there is an accident, clean it up with no fuss or shaming, just reminding wees and poos go on the potty. And you never know , she could be potty trained in a week or so.

Also, sorry if I'm missing something, but I'm not sure why you're worried about "leaving the potty around" with a baby - as soon as there's anything in it, you clean it out??

2.5 years used to be the standard age for potty training. She is very clearly telling you it’s time to potty train.

Even if today she's shouting "not like it" and getting angry about potty

If it was me I’d train them both now and be done with it! Ideal! DD is now 2y5 months, trained at 2 yr 1 month and wish I’d done it earlier. My boys were both trained at 2.5 and again could have done it earlier. You’ve just got to get through the first week.

@SillyNavySnail you really need to try being consistent - sounds like it is all very reactive and chaotic at the moment. Sit down with her in the morning and tell her 'you're a big girl now, no more nappies when you're awake'. Then she sits on a potty every 45 mins or so until she's been or if she tells you she needs to go.

Whatever it takes to get her to sit there - reading stories, blowing bubbles, singing songs etc. try on the potty before you take baby up, and again when you come back down. Before meals, wash hands sit to eat. After meals then wash hands and next activity. Before going out and when you get back.

It really doesn't take long of being consistent and firm - especially at 2 and a half. My dd trained at 2 and ds at 18 months. If I was you I would be starting your younger one at the same time, every nappy change try on the potty like big sister.

Suggest you try catching it for a bit by making her sit on the potty every hour.

Yes, I think so.

What’s happening?

Try reading the no crap method of potty training.

Another one saying take the opportunity to potty train! My two were both done by that age and they’re only 3 and 6 now. I think they both got it within a few days and were reliable within a couple of weeks. She’s the perfect age. A couple of days at home, watching carefully for her signs and lots of encouragement and praise should help!

I have friends who left it as long as possible basically because they didn’t want to deal with it, which I get, but from what I’ve seen the older they are the more they can resist it. Lots of problems with withholding, accidents for months etc. Let her train 🙂

mine took a couple of very vigilant days each, both under 2. No having them sit on the potty, just take a couple of days out, no nappy or knockers, watch them like a hawk and sit them on potty as they start to go. This weather ideal. Garden if possible, you can put a sunshade up.

if you decide to do both, you and H take a child each, see who does best!

I was sitting DD on the potty roughly every 20-30 mins to start. Your partner needs to get onboard. It's literally for a few days and in the long term it makes life easier.

DD was 2 years 5 months and we started on a Friday and by the following Friday she was done. Even managed a trip out that weekend with no accidents.

My mother and MIL looked after her 1 day a week and were both committed to it as well and kept it up. I'm sure nursery will also support.

We had a potty from Amazon that flushed. DD loved this. I also highly recommend the My Carry Potty for out and about. Good luck. I think she sounds ready, the first 3 days are the hardest x

I think you need to be consistent and not do nappies again - confusing to her to keep putting them on taking them off. 2.5 is definitely old enough. Throw the nappies away and push on.
The week of potty training was one of the dullest weeks of my life 😂 but it’s done now and I’m so glad we did it!

Bribery may help here too. Stickers for sitting on the potty/peeing in the potty depending on what’s giving you an issue. Also making it fun. You could do a little dance every time something goes in the potty.

Every hour might be too far apart for getting her to sit on the potty. Every half an hour might be better. Take your lead from how often she goes.

She is telling you she doesn't want her nappy. You need to take the time to teach her to use her potty. She is by far old enough, so take the time to train her.

Stop confusing her with nappy on and nappy off.

I've learnt that she won't sit on potty if she doesn't need to go, she'll just get angry. Whether that's 20,30,60 mins since she's been.

So, partner had no success whilst I was at work,but in the 2hrs since I got home I got 3 pees on the potty, with just a bit of 1 on the floor. That was by watching her cues and prompting once or twice. One small pee was by baby playing with potty and toddler saying "no, my potty", then sitting on it for a small pee

We're not doing rewards,just lots of praise, high fives etc. But if it doesn't go well, can start simple rewards

@SillyNavySnail that sounds like great progress. It's still very early days x

That's awesome op! Keep going, she'll get there 😀

So, partner had no success whilst I was at work,but in the 2hrs since I got home I got 3 pees on the potty, with just a bit of 1 on the floor. That was by watching her cues and prompting once or twice. One small pee was by baby playing with potty and toddler saying "no, my potty", then sitting on it for a small pee

Sounds great, keep going 👍

She’s certainly old enough to train, and if she’s turned into a nappy refusenik then she must want to be, so you are just going to have to do it.

Have more than one potty. Ideally one in every room. Lots of praise when successful but no telling off when an “accident” happens. She sounds ready to me.

it was younger than that pre-disposable nappies - by 2 was normal in the 70s / early 80s

Younger than that in the pre-washing machine 60s

Sorry can't reply to all, but it's difficult when my partner is different to me. I wouldn't have put a nappy on her today at all until bedtime, but I was out working, and he did what he did, which I don't agree with.

In my eyes, its nappy for bedtime only