Toddler refusing to wear nappies

[SillyNavySnail]

Toddler is 2yr8 months.

She doesn't know when she needs to poo or pee, she usually tells me when she's done a poo and wants a clean nappy, but sometimes won't tell me and I don't realise for a while. Other times I can smell it, ask her and she may Sat yes, but she may say no.

She went through a stage of protesting nappies, been generally OK the last few months, but today refused to wear it, then fell asleep on sofa, so I had to shove a blanket under her, in a hope it would save the sofa..

On waking, refusing nappy.

We got a potty a few months ago, which is a game to her. She sat on it a bit for fun, sometimes did a poo, then pulled down nappy to sit on potty, so poo fell on floor

Although she doesn't know when she needs to go, I'd have said she's still not ready.. am I wrong?

We have a 16 month, so not sure how to navigate potty training now or in the future, as a potty can't just be left out

Any help or advice please x

If you can be at home....just leave the nappies off. Leave a few potties around. You'll have some accidents on the floor. Try and get her to sit on the potty for a while....reading books, colouring at low table etc till you get a wee in it. Then lots of calm praise. They start to realise when they are about to go when they don't have the nappies on. It's a process - you don't need to get it done perfectly in 3 days.
It is messy and there are always going to be people who say they got it done super fast without accidents....not the reality for most of us!
I would go for it while the weather is still reasonably warm and she can run around naked or just with knickers on.

I can't leave potty around with the baby, who just plays with it tho.

And it's one thing on the floor and outside, but don't want pee on the sofa which is basically impossible to get pee out of the seat cushions...

I've read many people say, if you wait until they know they need to go, they're pretty much trained in a few days obviously with accidents, if they don't know when they need to go, it takes weeks. She doesn't even give any obvious cues

Sounds like she wants to potty train to me. She's plenty old enough to understand. I'm old so mine were trained before 2 years old.
You've got to be prepared for accidents. They're not going to get it straight away!

The baby would only be playing with an empty, clean potty. What is the problem with that? You don’t leave it lying around when it’s got something in it.

Get her a weeing doll with a potty, when you have a free day spend the day with her and the doll and lots of fluids and some treats she likes. Show her how the doll wees in the potty and gets a treat. Tell her every time she wees in her potty she gets a treat. Don't tell her off for accidents but don't give her a treat. It took my DD at 20 months about two hours to get it but the book I used said 24-48 hours max. We never had a single accident or wet bed after this and never used nappies again. I can't recall the name of the book but this is literally the method. Good luck!

You can definitely potty train her now as she is finding a nappy uncomfortable so she is very ready.

Put some Underwear on her and she will learn that it is uncomfortable to poo/wee in them. When she does say "oh no" quickly to the potty. And eventually she will realise.

Just stick at it and do it properly. Start giving cues to your 16mo when he is 18mo too. I come from a culture where we potty train before 2 and I start at 16-18mo, when they first first show they are going for a poo (usually 1yo) we start responding to cues.

2 year 8 month old girl is more than likely ready to train.
read oh crap! start on a Friday or Saturday and give the baby to your husband for most of the weekend and focus on your oldest.
nude bottom half and eyes like a hawk.

3-5 days and you’ll be pretty much done,

Dress her in leggings (not too tight but not loose), then when she pees she will instantly feel it on her legs etc.

Hopefully the nice weather this weekend is an opportunity to be outside a lot and try.

After that I just said if they wanted to wear pants/go to pre-school they needed to keep them dry!

Yep, definitely sounds like potty training time! You can leave a potty around, potty training requires you being pretty on it about supervising constantly and your 16mo won't be wandering around unsupervised anyway. You empty them immediately when something is done, they don't sit there, and you'll know when something is done as you'll be right there.

You honestly don't have to wait "until they are ready", this is a very recent invention, and generations before trained much earlier. Mine were both trained before 2 and I went straight to toilets with toddler seats. They were put on several times a day until they went, and then it becomes habit.

I just got potty out.. she refused to sit on. Baby crawled over to play with it, toddler shouted "no baby, my potty", got down off sofa, bit of pee on floor, stopped her flow, plonked her on potty and she went. That's a first!

So, now she's just had a pee, how long before I put her back on it? She had a poo in nappy already today so likely won't poo again

https://eric.org.uk/potty-training/
An interesting read as it seems the advice has changed. They are no longer recommending waiting for signs of readiness as some children never shown any signs.
Every child is different.
This article hit home with me as I waited too long with one of mine (she was over three) and she remembered the nappies for a long time and and it was such a battle.
I've just trained my youngest. She's still only 1 and it took a couple of weeks but she got it and wasn't showing signs of readiness. I couldn't believe it.
Our sofa is totally battered after 3 kids so don't mind what happens on it....luckily she didn't wee on it though! A couple of rugs might protect it I had a visiting child who weed on my sofa but it all soaked into the rug ...phew!
I just rinse the potty and squirt with Dettol and hope for the best.
It is a stressful couple of weeks but has to be done at some stage.

Brilliant! You could try every hour

Absolutely potty train her! The whole 'wait until they're ready' just makes me eyeroll. Toddlers need to be taught, just like we help them learn to wean, to dress, to talk, etc etc.

She's giving you very clear signs that she's ready. 2 and a half isn't all that early. I trained DD at just after 2nd birthday with no 'ready' signs. Not that I was waiting for them anyway.

I say good luck, and go for it!

Also buy another potty for the younger one to play with. Won't delay training your elder DD because the younger one is interested.

If she's refusing nappies I would take that as a good sign that she's ready for potty training. Can you leave her out of nappies over the weekend and see how she does? Switching between nappies and pants is confusing so try not to do that (nappy at night is fine).
I found that when they're ready they get the hang of it very quickly so a weekend might be all you need

Well it's Friday... I'm working most the day tomorrow (to catch up from being home with sick baby yesterday), and partner working Sunday, he's with her Mondays, me Tuesday so no nursery till Weds.

So no help from each other, but 4 full days, let's give it a go. Only issue is baby is ill & clingy, and have to leave the toddler alone for 30min in the morning and 30min getting toddler down for afternoon nap too.

Well, half hour after her potty pee, no drink, sitting on her dining chair eating her lunch she slept through and a bit more pee. Had finished before on potty.. I guess she didn't fully empty half hour before..

Fair play!!!

just as a warning I was ready to quit about 36-48 hrs in by 72hrs I was a new woman 😅
Being older is good as she is more able to push down pants.

Oh I used juice liberally with my Dd days 1-3 to get fluids in.

i also think personality plays a role. My Dd is quite headstrong and likes to be the boss / do it herself.
so i said something factual like “I can see / I know you need to pee. Do you want to go to the potty?” I asked once and left it even if it meant she had an accident (that only happened like 2-3 times)

as an fyi it’s worth doing a bit of reading about pooing as it’s normal for them to get constipation and or to be scared of poop. We had it for a couple of weeks of weirdness but we trained in April? and was fine/ resolved shortly after… certainly by Mid June “. we had an even then and I remember thinking phew thanks goodness we have nailed potty training.

we did pull ups / nappies for naps and nights and dropped them for naps in July as she was reliably dry.

good luck!

This is exactly how/ why we potty trained earlier than planned. Ds was 2 earlier this month and about 6 weeks ago started having dry nappies over night and losing his mind at the thought of nappies being put on in the morning. I was expecting to try next Easter time but it has been relatively easy.

Every 15-20mins is normal frequency for wees when you first start. Give her lots of fluids to give her lots of chances to prqctice. You need to watch so you learn her signals. Don't ask her to go to the potty tell her whens its time and take her until she starts recognising signs herself

I'm out at work most the day tomorrow, and partner isn't the most observant and on his phone a lot, so I'm expecting lots of accidents.

I came down and she was in a nappy after a pee on blanket on sofa he missed. 20mins before she went up for bed, which I wouldn't have done til she was upstairs and after teeth, personally. I've taken potty up, he often doesn't change her nappy til he's woken up properly.

I'm not expecting partner to be all that good. I.e not extra liquid as extra pees, tho obviously I and you all know the more pee the better, as the more practice.

The only thing is, she won't be able to be in the garden as much because of the uv and can't suncream a full bum and labia!

We put waterproof sheets on the sofas (like a throw) when DD was potty training - she was actually pretty good when awake, but if she fell asleep on the sofa, she'd wee on it. We used one in her car seat too - same issue

She's telling you she's ready - she doesn't want to wear nappies!

My dd did the same when she had just turned 2 so I potty trained her. It does take a few days of full commitment and hunkering down at home but so worth it when it's done. Buy some smarties for rewards and persevere.

On day 1 have her bare bummed and basically carry the potty with you and follow her everywhere. Then when she starts weeing on the floor shove the potty under her and make a huge fuss / praise of the tiny amount of wee that made it to the potty. That gives them the idea of it. Then they gradually work it out from there.

If I’d waited for my eldest to tell me she was ready to potty train she’d have still been in nappies now.
Instead she was dry, night and day in a fortnight when I made her try it! Little buggers.