I was hoping someone could offer a little advice. My partner and I have just had a new baby (my first child, she’s 4 weeks old) My partner has a little girl from his previous relationship who is 5, nearly 6. I’ve been in her life for a couple of years now, we only get her Saturday Sunday every second weekend at the moment. She dotes on her new sister which is wonderful to see but she’s became so clingy but only around me, and only when I’m caring for her sister. For example anytime I’m breastfeeding/changing or trying to get the baby down for a nap my stepdaughter wants to climb all over me, stroke the babies hair, give her kisses or be in my face and pressing her face against mine. This behaviour only seems to happen when I’m caring for the baby, never when my partner is. I’m trying to spend as much me and her time together as I can but just with breastfeeding a newborn I don’t spend as much time with her as I previously did and her attention is split with her sister now, dad tries to keep her occupied to give me a little space but I think it would be better to try and set boundaries for acceptable behaviour. My partner and I have tried explaining that she wouldn’t like it if someone was constantly touching her or climbing around her when she was eating but this hasn’t worked. She doesn’t really listen to me (her mum has told her she doesn’t have to as I’m not her mum…) so I’m looking for suggestions on how to set the boundaries firmly but fairly and without her feeling like she’s being pushed out for the baby. My partner is great and when she doesn’t listen to me always enforces what I’ve said while reminding my step daughter that she does have to listen when I’m asking her not to do things but my stepdaughter is definitely pushing existing boundaries at the moment!
any advice would be appreciated as the baby isn’t the best at staying latched and her climbing around and vying for attention is getting really stressful and it is honestly making me not want to spend time as a family and makes me want to run away with the baby for peace and quiet. She’s only been over twice since her sister was born so the behaviour might dwindle with time but I’m not willing to take the chance it doesn’t as I’m worried about the baby getting hurt by accident as well if she’s jumping around etc.
thanks in advance