4 year old won't stop touching her bum

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My four year old won't stop touching her front bum. It's all the time. It's also very obvious. She does it in the living room, the car, outside playing constantly. It's very obvious and she says it feels nice.

I have tried every way to approach this. Tell her not to do it. Tell her it'll put germs on her hands. Tell her to do it in her bedroom but not in front of other people. Tell her it's ok she can touch her own privates but only in private. Tell her other people do not touch their bums in front of other people. Tell her other people will not like it. I've also told her people will not want to spend time in her company if she is doing this and it's disgusting. Tried to put consequences in place. Nothing works at all. I was very cross with her a few times about it. Told her others will not play with her if they see her constantly doing this. I know that is not the best approach but I'm at my wits end.

Please any advice, similar parenting experience or even book recommendations appreciated!

I have previously had this with my child. She would rub her bum until she was bright red in the face.

I got in contact with health visitor: was told it’s a form of masturbation. However, don’t cause to many issues regarding, just tell child to do it in private. If a child is told this is wrong from such a young age it is likely to create problems psychologically for the child in adult years, regarding masturbation and sex.

I followed what the HV said, we still catch child in her bedroom she’s 5 now. But we just ignore and walk back out room.

@LadyGabriella absolutely not possible.

Pure cotton plain knickers always washed separately in Surcare laundry detergent, in case of irritation. A wormer, just in case. Otherwise keep telling her it’s fine to do it but only in private and ignore as much as possible. My little sister grew out of something similar, we all just ignored it 😀

Just a side note for those who do use other names for genitals.... If the worst happens to your dc they will be able to get across what happened and be believed....

I think this is a good alternative. It’s not offensive or crude and very easy to say stop fiddling with your fanny. Front bum is horrible (sorry).

OP asked for help with a specific issue, not a lecture about anatomy and the correct names for genitalia etc. Lots of kids and their parents use nicknames for those body parts at such a young age. Your outraged post is a bit unhelpful in this circumstance tbh

I don't think you should tell her to do it in private. It's natural to and meant to be repressed in early childhood. Just don't make a big deal out of it and say stop that

Omg I HATE fanny 😂😂 … it sounds so vulgar! We’re all different in our terminology, what’s acceptable to one is not to another 🤷🏻‍♀️

She might still have thread worms causing her to itch. They do go into vaginas.

OP, my daughter did this A LOT. I told her she could only so it at home and not in public. Then I basically just let her get on with it! At nearly 5, she barely does it any more. It's a phase and it passes and other children don't notice.

Because it’s highly unlikely she’s touching her actual vagina that’s why…

Me too.

Well she won't if she calls it a mappatazzy as suggested earlier 😆😆😆

The colloquialism started with the Kardashian women who referred to their labias as their vaginas. Unfortunately it’s made its way into the lexicon.

This has definitely been asked before! Good advice on there.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5086675-4-yo-rubbing-crotch-on-things

As for names of genitals, I guess the word 'Vajazzle! didn't help did it. But decorating your vulva is harder to find a catchy name for!

So did I.

It's normal OP. All you can do is distract her and keep her hands busy.

I’ve never used it myself but it’s a millions times better than front bum, which is horrible.

True. We went with "ninny". Fine until we discovered that this is what some other kids call their grandmothers... 🫠

I've never called it anything or ever spoke about it

Ah, it was my friends family that did that, I wasn’t suggesting it, just think it’s probably the most fabulous alternative if you are one of those that comes over peculiar at vulva

You are joking. Tell me you are.

Urm, surely Minnie? 🤷🏽‍♀️

No this is the closest I've came to it

Um, talking about your own or your daughter’s and in either case, how come?

cute!

I have heard people call it auntie Mary (not seriously, an old term I guess), maybe this is the little girl equivalent