Hi,
Just wondered, has anyone ever felt they didn't connect with their NCT group? Disappointed you didn't have friends for life? Would appreciate anyone's views on this- sorry it's a bit of a long read!!
I did NCT around 5 years ago now, with 8 couples so we were quite a large group. I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover but I instantly felt like these weren't my type of people. We were the youngest couple, the only couple in our twenties, most of the women were 35 years plus, some had fertility treatment to conceive. These ladies had quite a bit of money, well educated, good jobs etc. I was from up north and they were all from down south. My husband, I could tell, wasn't going to get on with any of the blokes either. I tried to put all this past me however and found some of the women friendly. I could see how useful the group can be. My work colleagues told me how some of their NCT friends ended up being close pals, people they would go away with, so I had quite high hopes.
We did a few meals before the babies were born, a lunch, first aid class etc. When the babies were born people started meeting up for baby classes. My baby had colic/reflex and I found it all rather daunting, I often found myself hiding as I felt embarrassed when he screamed so I would sometimes hide indoors. They would take their 2 month olds swimming etc I thought I couldn't think of anything worse right now. Anyway March 2020 came and so did the dreaded covid. This meant we couldn't do any meet ups after all, also felt like the money we had spent on the NCT (which is far from cheap) was a waste of money. Anyway covid did it's thing and we communicated via whats app mostly. The group was useful being a first time mum but did feel quite judgey at times. When we were allowed to start meeting again, clicks in the group definitely started to form. I felt like I wasn't in them. Part of me understood as two of the girls already knew each other, most of the women had girls and only 3 of us had boys, but I did feel disheartened in thinking that they had never given me a chance. One lady in particular I could tell really didn't like me. She would cut me off when I would talk at meal times, wouldn't often acknowledge me, made me feel very uncomfortable if I'm honest.
A few years later, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. I didn't even feel comfortable telling the group, especially the lady who I clashed with, she had ivf to conceive originally. Time went on and other women in the group started to announce they were pregnant, probably the women I felt like I would connect with, closer to me in age. We formed a second whats app group so we could do some things together, esp as we missed out last time due to covid. This time around felt better as it was a much smaller group. I could do things with these ladies. I was starting to call some of this group friends. Sometimes they did do things like buggyfit etc where I didn't feel comfortable in doing plus didn't want to pay the ridiculous price.
As time went on I felt like I was getting more and more left out. I wouldn't attend the monthly dinners for various reasons and no one would ask after me. I found I got into an argument with the lady I clashed with and it was difficult. I went back to work before the others did with our second and not once did any of them ask me how I was, how my baby was, how my job was going. The whats app group also started to go quiet and I was convinced they had set another one up without me in it. Long story short we decided to move up north. Not because of this a lot went into the decision but I was disappointed and felt let down that none of the girls reached out to me. Still to this day I have heard nothing from any of them.