Children inside cars

[az33]

Would you say leaving a 5 years old locked inside a car (in his car seat) while you go to pay for fuel is ok? My husband has done that and I just find it unacceptable. He said our son didn't want to go out of the car and he had to pay for the petrol and it was only a few minutes.
I was furious but now wondering what others think, as he is making me feel like I'm overreacting

Depends a bit. Sensible child strapped in with a book and maybe visible from inside the garage, fine. Cheeky kid with tendency to bolt or try to mess with handbrakes, no.

What's your fear? Abduction? Accidentally driving away?

If the child is sensible then it is probably safer than hauling them across the lanes of cars pulling in and out of the petrol station. This is one that’s highly personal though because if your child is the mad demon type who might decide to release the handbrake then the answer is completely different!

I usually find a pay at pump place these days but they were rare when DD was little. I used to leave her in the car. Reasoning it was safer than dragging a wriggling child across a busy forecourt, quicker, less stressful. The dangers are minimal. (She was a very well behaved child if she was told to stay in her seat she stayed in her seat)

Why not?

Yes I think some of these things make me worried or even a car bumping into our car for whatever reason. He is a bit sensitive I guess, so he got all upset about being left there even if husband explained that he was going to pay for the petrol as he didn't want to come out. He is not a screamy or unruly child, I guess he was just tired.

This is one of those bizarre questions that was never asked before a decade ago.

Why is parenting so anxiety driven these days?

I thought it was more common to leave children in the car as long as well contained and not likely to try and release hand brake etc rather than negotiate the forecourt with them, especially if there isn’t a huge queue

And I wonder why so many children have it too?

My children are older - youngest is mid teens. But when younger it never entered my head that I should get them out of the car whilst I went to pay. Even when they were really small they just stayed in the car and I would usually be able to see the car from the window.

My children and 5 and 6 and I leave them in the car to pay.
I'm literally gone for a minute and the garage has huge windows so I'm watching my children the entire time I'm paying.

I personally think you're being a bit OTT.

A book?! For 2 mins whilst you sleep pop and pay for fuel? Ffs.

Op your husband is the one in the right here. Non issue aged 5!

I am not hauling my 14 mo (who can’t walk) and my 3 yo (who sometimes doesn’t want to) out of their car seats, into an pushchair or carrier, across a busy forecourt in order to pay for fuel, a transaction that takes 2 minutes.

Imagine a mother with twin babies - how they cope with it.

You're being utterly ridiculous. It's more dangerous to lug a child through a forecast where cars are driving.

Your poor DH did the right thing.

They’re more likely to come to harm on the forecourt - why would you take them
where moving vehicles and flammable chemicals are.

That said, all my local petrol stations are quite small and glass fronted. I might feel differently if I was going to be out of view for more than a minute.

It's more dangerous to get your kids out of the car and pump fuel then walk across the forecourt.

I don't know of any cars crashing into cars on a petrol station forecourt but as a helicopter dr I can tell you of at least 50+ incidents of cars driving into children/ adults whilst leaving the petrol station.

I think your husband is right here

Actually I'm going to be a bit harsher and say I completely agree with PP and say you're being utterly ridiculous.

DD is 2.5 and I always leave her in the car unless I'm going to be doing a bit of shopping at the same time. She is much safer there and it would take me longer to get her in and out then too quickly pay on my own.
However she can't get out of her car seat on her own- if she could I might think again.

I have never considered taking dc in to a petrol station to pay for fuel regardless of age. Of course now there are older they want to come in to hassle me for sweets and juice etc so the answer is still no! Agree with the pp that wonders why there is so much anxiety over normal daily things. I see it on the school parent group chats and indeed the same oarents constantly stressing over minor things have dc not coping with every day school activities.

I was reading an article about why more people are just having fewer children and it mentioned financial pressures and fertility issues for older parents but not these unrealistic expectations on parents and the stress it causes. I have 2 toddlers and am by some standards a terrible parent because one has had to cry when I couldn't physically comfort both at once or because I've had to take one into the supermarket sick or because I can't drag 2 across a petrol forecourt. Meanwhile, the stories my husband's grandmother tells about she did with her babies and toddlers are equal parts funny and horrifying.

Why on earth do you think that’s unacceptable? He’s just popping in to pay. Your child is fine

Of course I leave mine in the car. And so does the rest of the world.

A garage forecourt is no place for children. I've never seen seen anyone take their kids in with them. Ever.

or even a car bumping into our car for whatever reason.

You're being utterly ridiculous.

Until I joined mn, I had never ever heard of people taking their kids into petrol stations. I never see it in real life, ever. Of course I don't take my kids into the petrol station when I pay - I have a toddler and a child with severe SEN: it would be absolutely chaotic and totally unsafe. Even a well-behaved, NT child is safer in a car seat in a locked car for 2 mins alone than being dragged across a petrol court. It's common sense. And I have never been to a petrol station where you can't see the car from the inside or where it takes longer than a maximum of 2 minutes to pay. This entire issue is madness on here!

I’m guessing that you don’t fill the car up often.

If there's no faffing about looking around the shop, and there's not a huge queue, it takes seconds to go in and tap your card.
I don't understand the issue.