Children inside cars

[az33]

Would you say leaving a 5 years old locked inside a car (in his car seat) while you go to pay for fuel is ok? My husband has done that and I just find it unacceptable. He said our son didn't want to go out of the car and he had to pay for the petrol and it was only a few minutes.
I was furious but now wondering what others think, as he is making me feel like I'm overreacting

Also my risk assessment would be very different for a solo 5yo Vs a 4 and 2yo together - sibling rows

It's fine. It's a 30 second job. Do you never leave your 5 year old alone?

Completely fine. There are always people on these threads that say 'what if they were kidnapped, what if the car caught on fire etc etc) but the risks of that are so low, and taking them across the forecourt is not without risk either.

Agreed.
I don’t know what is fuelling it.

my kid is 2.5 and I would have no issue leaving her in a car in a car seat within my eyeline for 5 mins if she was calm / not at risk of a tantrum.

I was just going by what ypu posted. You said he didn't want to get out of the car and then later you said he was upset.

I'm not a mind reader - can only go by what you choose to tell us 🤷

@Sparrowchicken everyone had their own opinions as you say and can make their own judgment about risk. I certainly wouldn't judge anyone for the choice they make and would expect the same in return.

But you're right, I wouldn't have reacted as strongly. But I think the point I was trying to make (and didn't do very well) is that I genuinely thought I would be in the majority here so maybe I am being over zealous but don't think I'll be changing all the same as it's what I'm most comfortable with.

You are overreacting, and furthermore, you don't have the right to dictate how your husband parents outside of unsafe, illegal, or harmful actions as judged by a reasonable person. You are not reasonable so what you think is unsafe isn't the standard I would use.

Why are you being so aggressive? You have both said that your child was left in the car because he didn't want to get out, and that he was anxious being left in the car.

Op, your past few posts are coming across as bullying and extremely nasty. To posters that didn’t even say anything wrong!

WTAF is 'go make yourself some ditalini'?? 😂

Yes- if I can see the car at all times- yes! I wouldn’t leave in a car park and go into a shop.

Google says it's a type of pasta 🤣

Im the same as you. I don't find this a big deal at all but after a similar disagreement with my dh the other day, I looked through some old Mumsnet threads and found that the general consensus is that you don't leave children unattended in cars ever.

My kids are grown up now, but trust me when I say that this was a hot topic 20 years ago. We lived rurally and some posters found it incredible that we didn't have a pay at pump option nearby. Apparently I should have driven an extra 20 miles to use one so that I didn't need to leave them in the car

Yes @DinnaeFashYersel but why oh why would it ever be a response to anything 😂😂

This ^ . What has happened to make parents so anxious these days. Did my parenting in the 90s/00's and can't imagine ever thinking about hauling babie/kids out of a car to pay for petrol... have a melt down about them having a sleepover.. letting them walk home from 3 doors down aged 9 ...

It can't be good for them to have such anxious parents.

There is quite lot of research at the moment around this concern as it's becoming a serious issue.

https://kclpure.kcl.ac.uk/ws/portalfiles/portal/187050454/ChildAdolessMentHealthh2022PalmerrPreventinganxietyyintheechildrenoffanxiousparentssfeasibilityoffabrieff_.pdf

I think forecourts can be quite dangerous places for kids crossing them so it's safer to leave a child strapped in the car. However with no food so no choking risk and only if you can see the child and car very clearly from inside the garage and if the child is not a runner etc.

I wouldn't think twice about leaving my 5 and 2 year old in the car to pay for petrol, or pop in for literally a pint of milk or something like that where I'm gone 30 seconds. Car is visible and locked, what on earth do you think might happen?

Serious question, what on earth do you think could happen while you're paying?

I left dd in the car to pay for fuel, it never occurred to me not to tbh until I saw a thread on here about it!

It always seemed more risky to get her out then leave her strapped in for 5 mins.

I've done this. Much safer than walking across a forecourt. Car is locked so can't escape/ be abducted. If anyone bumped into the car it's likely to be low speed, and extremely low risk. You can always see the car from the forecourt. I think it's fine.

Hah the general consensus on here is that anything you post is dangerous and/or neglect and/or ridiculous, but that's just because there's an army of people on every single thread with knee jerk responses, so you're guaranteed to get a tonne of 'youre an idiot' type responses on any thread you make.

I haven’t RTFT.
It is dangerous to get children out of the car at the petrol station.

I have never, ever in my 6 years of parenting taken a child into the petrol station to pay. Lock them in the car and run in, it's safer than trying to get them across a forecourt

We didn't till my daughter was around 8 and left it unlocked, keys with us, before that used pay at pump but that's a modern luxury. But I don't think your husband is wrong. It's the way you risk access it - your son was safe from being run over on the forecourt but at more risk of being stuck in a car in danger - but being hurt on the forecourt is more likely. I don't think there is a right answer here and I think your husband should be able to make the decision himself when he's getting fuel.