Children inside cars

[az33]

Would you say leaving a 5 years old locked inside a car (in his car seat) while you go to pay for fuel is ok? My husband has done that and I just find it unacceptable. He said our son didn't want to go out of the car and he had to pay for the petrol and it was only a few minutes.
I was furious but now wondering what others think, as he is making me feel like I'm overreacting

I leave my 15 month old in the car while I pay if it's not a hot day. I try and use a pump as close to the shop as possible so I can see my car.

Yes it's fine, I did this. As long as they're happy and not scared to be alone obviously

I don’t understand why people are so harsh. You’re clearly reasonably and aren’t only listening to people who agreed with you 🤷‍♀️

I leave my toddler in the car while I lay for petrol. That's about the only time I leave him in the car alone. If there was a big queue or I thought it would take a while I'd take him in but usually it's fine.

You are overreacting.

I'm sorry you feel like you've had a hard time with some answers but you yourself said you were 'furious' ..

Most replies said they left their kids in the car..

It's a modern parenting thing to take the kids in to pay...(I've been driving 35 yrs and have 3 adult DC and a grandson.. I've never taken any children with me)

I myself wondered if you might be feeding into his anxiety about being left in the car without realising?

It's proven that anxiety around parenting is rising and anxiety in children is on the rise too..

So I say this gently... maybe you can explore why you are anxious and try to brush off your child's anxiety with reassurance that he'll be fine...

Completely agree with this.

if its straight in and out, i don't see the issue! if you are doing some shopping and sitting down for a cuppa, then no!

i do wonder how parents of today would manage sat 25 years ago? cars were less secure, less safe and yet i would leave my baby asleep in their car seat while i went to pay for petrol, it never occured to me that anything bad might happen too them.

today.. society has made me terrified to leave my GS in his car seat when i pay for petrol. i'll be judged, shamed, reported... where has common sense gone? how many babies are stolen from locked cars parked at petrol stations i wonder?

I have never given a second thought to nipping in to pay for fuel. I always thought walking across the forecourt with small children was more risky than leaving them safely strapped in the car. I now have an under 5 who travels in a wheelchair and there is no way on this green earth it is safer to unload then reload a wheelchair than it is to leave him for the few minutes I go in to pay (even when I take his epilepsy into account).

How about you stop fannying about here and enjoy your Sunday

Judging people for posting on Mumsnet whilst posting on Mumsnet 🤣🤣🤣

Your poor husband.

Always left on the car. I wasn't going to start hauling twins across a forecourt.

Good god no . closest thing to a mini break I ever had when mine were toddlers 🤣

if you want to take him with you , do it . However your husband hasn’t done anything wrong at all. - I would even argue it’s safer staying in the car for those 90 seconds for the child.

It used to be the recommendation that children should not be on the forecourt at all due to manoeuvring vehicles, before Lay at Pump was popular.

Its a balance of risk.leaving them unsupervised vs danger outside. Neither is wrong really.

Perfectly fine. Have done this with all my dc

God yes. It's much safer. I had to take one in with me when they were small (under 2) because they got so upset, but they grew out of that.

It's a shame that your ds wanted to stay in the car and then changed his mind after his dad was in the garage but it can't have been for long.

Yes I used to leave both my dc in the car when I paid for fuel and nothing ever happened. I see others doing it and don't bat an eyelid. It felt safer leaving them in the car than dragging them across the forecourt, especially if they're stropping.

I've always done this.

I risk assessed it in my head - it's safer to leave them in the two mins it takes to pay and still be able to see them than un strapping them all and crossing busy forecourt.

I

Of course it's alright. How stressful having to get them out and take them in with you every time.

God, how about you do not assume what my child wanted? Go make yourself some ditalini!

So is there an age when this becomes ok? I'm assuming we wouldn't leave tiny babies alone? What age is it?

Tbh just use a fuel station with a pay at pump, then this isn't an issue.

I'm really surprised by this thread. I wouldn't consider myself an uptight parent by any means but I've never left my children in the car at a petrol station (currently 4 and nearly 2).

I probably would be a bit miffed if my husband did the same as yours (he is practically horizontal when it comes to this kind of stuff but I asked him and he said he would never do this either).

Despite what everyone is saying here I just don't feel comfortable doing it and won't be changing. It takes no effort to get them out and I would rather they are with me. But I think that's up to you and your husband what you do, but if you disagree about it then you may just have to accept he will do that (and most people apparently!)

That's fine if that's what you're comfortable with, but as leaving them in the car as long as it's locked, the forecourt is visible from the till (as they invariably are) and the child is safely secured is generally safer than having them walk across the forecourt then to get annoyed at their other parent seems a bit unfair.

This subject comes down to opinion. Some people feel it’s safer to take them in, some feel it’s safer to leave them in the car. It’s really down to the individual to decide.

He is also the child’s parent and can make these decisions himself too. It might not be what you would have chosen, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

If you become furious every time he makes a decision, that disagree with it’s likely to impact his relationship with you and the child. Eventually, you will become the default decision maker and parent for all decision even when he has the child so that you don’t become furious about a non issue. And that will impact your relationship with him.

Didn’t you say in the Op that your child didn’t want to get out?