*TW* Fatality at nursery WWYD

[Enigma85]

Hi all, I'm on maternity leave with my first baby and I return to work in a couple of months. My LO will be 11 months old and starting a nursery she's been booked into for a while (it's connected to where I work). I had heard through the grapevine that there had been a fatality a week ago so I emailed them and they confirmed that there had been a tragic incident and it was closed whilst investigations take place and the staff are supported. They said they can confirm the fatality didn't happen at the nursery, and I have it unconfirmed from someone else that this was a choking incident so assume the child died at hospital but I don't know.

It has obviously really shaken me up, is absolutely every parent's worst nightmare, and I have suffered with intrusive thoughts since she was born which I've had support for so this has sent me on a spiral and I can't think clearly. Would you find another nursery? Or wait until the investigation has finished?

Any thoughts appreciated, and obviously my heart is with the family of the poor little child that has passed and all the staff.

I would need more detail regarding the circumstances. That should never happen at a nursery with sufficient staff; choking is something everyone who works with small kids would be hyper aware of.

It's depends on whether the nursery was in anyway at fault through negligence or whether it was a truly tragic accident and the nursery responded quickly with appropriate first aid, accidents can and do happen even with good supervision if they can't dislodge the object. I'd imagine if it's the latter then staff are going to be hyper aware, overly cautious, all training updated etc and it may well be the safest place to send her.

I'd look for somewhere else, if the nursery are goind to be negligent they may vlose. I'd want to know the outcome of the investigation, are there any details online.

i'd start looking into alternative childcare asap. don't pull your child out of this nursery yet because if the report comes back in a week that it was not at all the nursery's fault then you can stick with it. but certainly have a backup plan in place in case the nursery is closed or you are unhappy once more info has come out.

They said they can confirm the fatality didn't happen at the nursery

I would take that as meaning that whatever happened was outside, maybe at drop off time or collection time . But best to wait until the investigations are complete before making a decision

If it didn’t happen at the nursery why would they close?
I’d be looking around to find one I was comfortable with. It takes alot of trust to hand your child over and if you’re unsure then maybe keep looking.

I think the death of a child they cared for is enough to close for a while ti allow staff to get over the shock. I would want to know what has happened and make a judgement then it's quite possible a child has had an accident outside the nursery or been given a snack in the pram etc

I wondered if the child had choked at nursery and first aid had been administered but they later died at hospital, hence why they said there was no fatality at the nursery. But I am speculating.
It is closed whilst there are investigations so the nursery is definitely involved somehow.

I'm a bit sensitive about how easy it is for this to happen. My then 15 month old crawled under a sofa and found a small fragment of peanut whilst my mother and sister were looking after her. She choked, they managed to dislodge it enough to get her breathing and she was transferred from our local hospital to a paediatric centre. 2 bronchoscopies, 4 admissions, regular inhalers and shortly to be yet another admission for a CT here we are (probably with chronic lung disease).

Sometimes tragic accidents happen, and it is not necessarily someones fault. If it is a workplace nursery then ask directly if the rumours are correct (and if a child dies, I would be surprised if it wasn't in the local press).
I would not automatically discount, but would want more information.

I'd hold your place for now, but look for a back-up incase they close/you're not happy with the outcome of the investigation.

Look into whether a different type of care might suit you better if you're feeling anxious anyway.

Who says the Nursery was negligent ?

It can happen at nurseries and everywhere else a child eats

I worked at a nursery and staff was sat with 4 children each (2 years old)
A child began chocking on a sausage

Luckily i managed to get the sausage up via back slaps, just as he was going blue

It can happen but i would want a full report of how it happened and what action was taken

There was a choking death at another nursery afew miles down the street and that child wasnt being supervised
So details count here

No-one.

That's why it says IF the nursery are negligent they might close.

Find another nursery. No way would my kid be going to a nursery with any fatalities

That would be my take on it. Sadly such tragedies could happen anywhere. My goddaughter nearly chocked with her mum feeding her as a baby. My friend panicked and I grabbed the baby and held her upside down and slapped her back till it came out. But was that just luck? Her mum certainly wasn’t negligent in how she was feeding her, baby just gulped food the wrong way. It could easily have had a sadder ending.

the problem I guess is you don’t know yet if there was negligence and you may not know before you start back. What’s the local feeling generally about the place? Are there alternatives?

This nursery is probably going to be more alert than any other for choking signs, to be honest, as it will be on their minds (whether it happened at nursery or not).

That's awful, regardless of fault I think I'd have to go elsewhere just for ease of mind 💐

I would personally find another nursery, it would probably be in the back of your mind and you may feel anxious and uncomfortable leaving your little one with them

I would start looking around. On a purely practical note, if they do have to close, that will be a lot of parents suddenly looking for childcare and any spaces will be snapped up. If they don’t have to close, it gives you the space to really think whether you’re ok with that setting and the outcome of the investigation or not.

I'd look at other nurseries but keep your place at this one until the results of the investigation are available or you have more details. Sometimes you can't prevent something happening - all you can do is reduce the risk of it happening (ie by chopping grapes etc) - but it can still happen and it's the speed of the response (so level of supervision) that counts.

My 3 year old was getting into the car seat after a party recently and she wanted a snack so I gave her one before we set off. She started choking on it in front of my very eyes, it was terrifying - and I was stood there watching her put it in her mouth, so not unsupervised but I couldn't have done anything to prevent it. Before I'd had chance to get her out of the seat to slap her on the back, she'd managed to dislodge it.

It's one of my biggest fears so I would keep my options open re the nursery, don't assume they are negligent however if it's making you anxious just do what you need to do for your own peace of mind. If that means changing then do it.

I think given that you've had intrusive thoughts it's unlikely that this setting will be somewhere you will feel at ease leaving your child regardless of the outcome.

What about a very experienced local childminder? That's more likely to give your baby one to one care and you can easily connect through WhatsApp messages if you worry throughout the day.

I think I know the nursery this is - my child went there- and they are wonderful. Accidents can happen ANYWHERE.

Is it certain it's choking? My
First thought was car accident at pick up /drop off the car park at ours can be a bit hairy

I’m surprised this hasn’t made the press. There was a case with Jelly Beans, wasn’t there, and then this one also springs to mind: https://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/content/news/bright-horizons-fined-800-000-over-toddler-death/
I would go elsewhere.

I think where there’s children there’s always a chance these things can happen in any nursery. I took dd to a settling in session at a nursery and while I was sitting there filling in the forms I watched a child go fishing in his rucksack on the peg and get out a marble. Another kid could easily have picked it up and choked on it. That said I’d probably look for another nursery if I were you