How to respond to "I'm bored"

[givemushypeasachance]

I know all children do it and it's normal, but is there a better way to respond to the whining of "I'm bored"? Basically to get them to stop whining so much! It's understandable if they're at home in the summer holidays and actually are bored and listless and need a bit of assistance to help choose something to do. But when they've spent a couple of hours at a fun science museum where they've had a great time, and are going to get a go on some fair rides next, but are currently having lunch and need to just sit quietly for 5-10 mins until the food arrives, it is grating to hear "I'm bored... I'm bored... I'm booooored, what can I do, I'm bored!" every thirty seconds. This is an 8yo.

Responding with humour "Hi bored, I'm dad" style leads to angry shouting as they don't like being teased. Saying "that's okay, you can just sit quietly for a few minutes" only gets more whining. Suggesting they try to think of something to do, also whining. Giving them a phone to play games on keeps them quiet but not ideal. Is there any magic solution to this or do you just have to ride it out? It's tempting to say "yes so what, but please be bored quietly I don't want to hear about it", but that seems to be less acceptable parenting these days!

Great! Here’s a cloth and some polish, and when you’ve finished you can do the vacuuming.

The classic answer from my childhood was “only boring people get bored”

Me too! What shall we do?

My kids get a deadpan face and "that's very sad for you".

An intermediate step to "entertain yourselves" sometimes helps.

Such as "here's the junk box, here's the foil and the stickers - build me a rocket". Or choices "your new Meccano hasn't been used properly yet. You could do that or you could build a diet in the garden. Which so you fancy?"

Just prod them a bit.

Diet in the garden? FORT in the garden.

Waiting in a restaurant - have a pen and paper handy and get them to play simple paper games? Hangman, noughts and crosses, the one where you join dots, consequences etc

Or start a conversation about something - "would you rather" is good, or finding quiz questions or similar.

Yes, and the other was 'read a book, then'. To be honest, I totally agree that only boring people get bored. To say that one is bored is to be petulant, lazy, and stupid, all at once.

I generally say tough, you have plenty of toys go and find something to play.

I used to get told to go outside and dont come back in until it starts to get dark.

People seem to have missed the fact the children are bored in a restaurant, so they cant build a paper fort or climb a tree or whatever

Are we talking when out and about, or when at home?

In the specific situation of them being hangry waiting for food to arrive at a restaurant, I tell my kids they have to get involved in mealtime conversations and also make an effort to engage them by asking them questions or looking at people going by and talking about who they might be and where they're going, or the buildings around us, or what we've been doing that morning. What was the best/worst thing, was there anything you found surprising...

You also have to teach kids how to have conversations - like a tennis match, they have to respond to questions and add something of their own, and ask other people questions too and respond to their answers.

We also bring books when out and about as kids will read anything when they're bored enough.

While waiting for food to arrive, we read books or play a game. I generally bring a card game or two with me on days out for this exact scenario and these days my kids bring a book along when they go out.

Honestly if they have been busy all morning and you are going on to do other things I would just let them play on your phone to give you all a short break to recharge.its not like they are spending hours on it.

Waiting for food for 5/10 minutes I might suggest a game of something like I Spy. Otherwise they'd just have to wait, whether or not they kept saying they were bored. It's not a long time although it might seem longer to him.

Exactly what I was going to say.

Chores. "Great, your clothes need sorting/bedroom needs tidying/toys need sorting.". Somehow she's magically not bored anymore.

If I'm in the mood/also bored then we do some kinds of activity together either inside or outside. From usual stuff like playing/doing/making something to pouring water and washing up liquid in the trampoline and making it into an icing ring.

Responding with humour "Hi bored, I'm dad" style leads to angry shouting as they don't like being teased.

Really - they shout angrily at you at 8 years old?! What a rude child you have. I would deal with that before the I'm "bored situation".

For every action (I'm bored) there is a reaction (Hi bored!) a good lesson for them to learn and hopefully stop them saying it.

My mum would always respond: 'I'll find a nice little job for you to do then' - this was along the lines of pairing socks in the washing basket, dusting the skirting boards etc. I quickly learned not to admit to being bored.

'I'm bored'
'Oh dear, what are you going to do to change that?'

We played endless games of I Spy and “guess who I am thinking of” in restaurants when my DDs were small.

And mine! When I was a kid in the 70s I, and lots of my friends, spent a good deal of time bored out of our skills. Then I discovered books. 🙂

I found if they said they were bored, they often meant they wanted company and required conversation rather than distraction. I don’t think small children distinguish bored from lonely very easily.

I usually suggest chores or cleaning their room.

When my DC were young and we were waiting for food in a restaurant, we would play card games, chase the ace, snap etc. It really distracted them from waiting for the food.