Do you regret the age gap between your kids?

[Lou98x]

DH and I have been discussing baby number 2 and what kind of age gap we should like between the DS and them. Interested to hear your opinions.

I know there’s no perfect age gap between siblings, and you have to work with what you have, etc. but I’m curious to know if any of you feel you left it too long between children, or had a second one too soon?

Do you think the sibling dynamic would’ve been different had you waited/not waited?

Whatever you go for will have pros and cons. We have 2.5 years gap and then 4. The first two were a pair for quite a while but as they became more argumentative our third balanced things out and their slightly bigger age gap is lovely. It can be a juggle meeting everyone’s needs and doing things that suit everyone but I think that’s a challenge with three children whatever your gaps.

No. There is 13 years between my children and I'm glad because the second one turned out to be neurodivergent and I have been able to concentrate on supporting him. I think it would have been very difficult with two dependent children although I know lots of people do that! My eldest has left home now.

No regrets, 21mth gap. Hard work when they were tiny, but so worth it.

18 month gap

Exhausted even 17 years later

3.5 years between dd1 and dd2, then 7.5 years before ds came along.

4.5 years between mine, I feel it’s too big.

they’re at different stages of life, one at high school and one in primary.

it was no fun with a baby in tow going to parties, swimming lessons etc for the older one.

if I could turn back time, I would’ve had just less than 18 months between them

2.5yr age gap. My two adore each other. I love it.

No regrets.
I had a baby, a one year old and a two year old.
It was lovely

No regrets. 4.5 years. Perfect in my opinion. Worked for us. Always great friends despite the apparent gap.

I don't think there is a perfect gap. We have 3.5 years and at the time I worried about it being too much but actually it was nice when DC2 was born because DC1 was a bit more independent and in part time school which made things easier. Also they do mostly get on now that they're older (9 & 13). I think the gap will feel smaller and smaller as they get older too.
I know people who have bigger and smaller gaps and there's pros and cons with all of them.

No regrets. 6 years has it's cons and we didn't mean it to be that long but it has more pros than cons for us. We enjoy doing separate things with each of them as well as things as a family and they mostly get on well.

Any age gap can work and depends on the siblings. Wanted 3 years. Got 4 1/2. It’s the ideal gap now!

They don’t compete as much do they and you get lots of lovely time with each one (and better financially!) I realise now I’d have been quite sad if it was all done so quickly, especially as short age gaps are so difficult!

If you think your children would be likely to go to University then I would advise a minimum 3 year gap. I'm relieved one finishes before the next one starts. I don't see how we would have afforded it otherwise!

19 month gap here. It’s tough but I genuinely don’t think I could have done the baby stage again after more of a gap. There are now 1 and 2.5 and I’m starting to see the friendship grow already. I love it.

I don't really regret mine but kind of wonder what it would've bene like if my kids were closer in age. My eldest son is 21, and then my eldest daughter is 15 with our youngest daughter being 6. So very big age gaps tbh. I think the dynamic between each is veryy different. Somehow they still argue tons lol.

I’ve got 2 years between mine, 5.5 and 3.5 year olds. They play together really well and adore each other over all. I love it as a gap. Don’t think we’ll have a third, in part due to not wanting a huge gap and disrupting the dynamic. That being said all families are different and there are pros and cons to each gap!

We have 5 years between our 2 and I think it’s great age gap. We had time to build our careers and a bit more financial security in between. Only 1 in nursery at a time. And my mat leave was during dd’s first year of school which was really nice for transitioning her from nursery to reception. Also I got to have the ‘baby experience’ with both, one to one time, baby classes without a toddler in tow.

They get along as well as any siblings do now (all siblings fight a lot 😂). They are primary and secondary school age now. But are different enough in age that we can do very different things with them too, which is also really nice.

11 years. It is lovely! No multiple toddler stress, and getting to do it all over again. One nearly finished high school, one in preschool.

edit to add - it’s not without it’s challenges. But overall love the dynamic.

3 minutes here. Obv no choice involved as they’re twins which was a shock but I think it worked out for the best. Obv very full on in the early days but then possibly easier to entertain as they got older as they were the same age.

My first two were very close together and although it was hard work it was good because they always played together and could enjoy the same activities. The next one was five years later and that was also good because he was “their” baby and they doted on him as well as still having each other to play with.

No because it wasn't our choice (unexplained secondary infertility) and in the end we were just pleased to have a second child.

It has its advantages - the older one is so much more tolerant and laid-back with the little one and we haven't really had any jealousy. Annoyance (particularly when the toddler destroys stuff) but not jealousy.

We have a 2y3m, then a 2y1m, then a 3 year gap. The two year gaps were perfect for us. Very easy to manage and I recovered quickly from each birth. 3 years was tougher for me - potty training and terrible twos while pregnant! - but fine for the kids.

In an ideal world (if I'd known I'd want 4 kids) I'd have had 2 years, 3 or 4 years then 2 years again to get 2 "batches", but no regrets.

I’ve got 3 ….2 years between 1 and 2 ( good gap) ….4.5 years between 2 and 3 ( too big a gap) …..I wish I had just done another 2 year gap

There’s 4 years between ours - that just how long it took! But on reflection it’s worked out brilliantly. I was on mat leave when DC started school so I had a year getting to know the school mums and facilitating friendships. They weren’t both at nursery at the same time so I didn’t have to double up on fees and if they go on to uni they won’t both be there at the same time.

They get on surprisingly well, and now, at 11 and 15 they play together on PS and on the trampoline and take the dog out for walks together.