Worried about DD’s ‘obese’ weight

[Peachylove]

DD6 stepped on the scales this morning (she doesn’t know what they are or what it means she just put it there when brushing her teeth) I had a look and she weighs 27.7KG. DS7 then did the same and he weighs 18KG. I checked on the BMI calculator and it says she’s obese!!

Ive been concerned about her weight for months but all friends and family tell me she’s fine and not to worry, but seeing how much she weighs has made me more worried. The weight is distributed all over, I guess some would say she has a chunky frame, but she does have a tummy that’s becoming more visible.. she’s in age 6/7 clothes though.

I don’t want to give her a complex or make her feel like she’s anything less than perfect but I think I need to find a way for her to lose some weight but I don’t know how to do that?!

I have 4 DC, they all eat roughly the same foods in varying portion sizes. Her brothers are all slim/skinny frame so I do wonder if she has a lower metabolism than them. DD6 & DS7 have the same size portions, she will polish off everything on her plate every meal time and always asks for more which I don’t often give her but I hate to think she’s actually hungry and I’m refusing food but I also don’t want her to be unhealthy or start to get picked on.

Her daily food goes something like this:

Breakfast 6.30/45am - she usually chooses 2 weetabix with honey & semi skimmed milk or 1 peice of toast.

8.30am - breakfast bar or piece of fruit on the way to school

10/10:30 - snack provided by school, always fruit or veg

12:00 - school dinner. She usually chooses jacket potato with cheese & salad, they do have a dessert also.

3.30pm - after school snack, they’re allowed one (sometimes 2) things out of our ‘snack basket’ which is less healthy options like squares, mini cookies, crisps, fruit roll ups etc then if they’re still hungry they can have fruit/frube/babybel. She usually ends up having 3 items as she moans that she’s really hungry

5.30/6pm - dinner, I make meals from scratch most of the time with veg, but on Mondays & Tuesdays they have quick oven food as we have clubs and don’t get back till later

she does gym, dance & cheerleading every week

be honest, what can I do to help her?

Oh she also has a yoghurt after dinner & when it’s a hot day they have an ice lolly

That’s hard OP, but she is young enough that you can turn this around and you sound really dedicated.

Goes without saying that the snack basket needs to go. You can’t really control what she has in school but everything at home needs to be healthy. Greek yogurt, bananas, nuts if not allergic, high protein and no junk.

Up her exercise at weekends and do something cardio as a family - junior park run is good. No crisps or sweet snacks after activities and make sure on your club nights your quick food is healthy.

Basically imagine what you would do if it were you overweight - you would go on a health drive. Do the same and just adapt to child portions.

So for sweet stuff she is having the following every day;

• honey
• breakfast bar
• School dessert
• 1 or 2 unhealthy snacks
• Sugary yoghurt
• and maybe an ice lolly

So potentially 7 sugary things a day!

I'd reduce the sugary snacks personally. Frubes are sickly sweet. Breakfast bars also have a lot of sugar in them. Ditto mini cookies.

You can "train" children out of a sweet tooth by offering salty/savoury snacks instead. For example, a stick of cheese, marmite on toast, olives, crackers.

She doesn’t need a snack on the way to school & she doesn’t need 3 snacks after school. Try to delay her breakfast a little if you can and then after school offer cheese / veg and houmous. No snack basket. Her blood sugar is yo-yoing and she’s hungry all the time as a result.

@HcbSS thanks for the tip! I guess the thing that’s been stopping me get rid of the snack basket is the boys, they eat the same as her and they’re all slim, DS7 is quite skinny! So I don’t want them to lose any weight or take food away from them too if that makes sense

but yes I could definitely increase her exercise, the boys are way more active than her at home so I could definitely encourage that more, thank you

@Hugesunflower okay when you put it like that it does sound like a lot!!
she has a sweet tooth unsurprisingly so doesn’t like sugar free yoghurts, I do buy plain Greek yoghurt often but she’ll ask for honey in it.

any tips on healthy but still sweet tasting alternatives?

they won’t lose ‘good weight’ by taking away the crap. You can still give snacks - just make them healthy ones. Better for their teeth and growing bones too.

She having too many snacks …..and maybe look at your meal portion sizes …..was she on the top centiles as a baby/toddler?

Just have plain yogurt with fresh fruit in

My Dd was like this. We had 3 slim boys and a hungry dd.

She was later diagnosed ADHD. This was setting off her craving for sweet things and was a sensory thing.

Shes 18 now, ADHD meds sorted it out.

But l could never work out what we were doing wrong with her when she was treated the same as the others. She was always hungry. The others weren’t interested .

She has 7 sugary things and

Then add to that carbs (which breaks down to glucose so sugar)
Weetabix
Jacket Potato
And potentially rice/pasta/bread
So 10 lots of sugar

And of course sugar tends to lead to sugar crashes and hunger.
Need to up the protein and veg

Sounds like she’s averaging about 400cals of snacks, I’d just only have the three main meals, snacking between meals is a very modern phenomenon

This is really interesting, as I have ADHD and constantly crave sweet things too which has lead to an unhealthy relationship with food for me, something I want to avoid for her hence the worry about this. DS7 is also going through the ADHD process, so definitely something to keep in mind for DD.

Even your boys don’t need loads of sugar though, full fat dairy and protein plus fruit will keep them much healthier. They can still have treats as an actual treat (I.e. not every day or multiple times per day), but don’t keep them sucked in the house or they’ll go!

Try yogurt natural yogurt with fresh fruit in. Raspberries, strawberries, passion fruit, mango etc.

Get to your GP and ask for a referral to a state registered paediatric dietician - do not take advice from internet strangers with no qualifications. Our society - particularly the women have an epidemic of disordered eating and eating disorders. I can tell you the aim will be for weight maintenance whilst she grows in order for her BMI to fall back into the normal range. I suspect you'll be encouraged to up the protein content of her breakfast with the aim of losing the 8:30 snack. But honestly get a referral - much safer and much better in the long run!

She probably feels hungry because she’s eating a lot of white carbs and not enough protein. If she ate egg on wholemeal toast (plus avocado or tomatoes if she will eat them, or perhaps baked beans) for breakfast she wouldn’t need a processed sugary breakfast bar on the way to school.

Likewise the after school snacks are just poor quality processed food which don’t benefit any of your children. I would replace with nuts, chunks of cheese (real cheese, not processed) or houmous and crudités. That sweet tooth needs bringing under control by replacing sweet options with savoury ones. If she doesn’t like unflavoured Greek yoghurt you could add blueberries and nuts but just say no to honey. If she’s hungry she will eat it. It will take a while for her to adjust but it’s something you all need to do and will all benefit from. Think family diet change rather than trying to get your daughter to lose weight.

Well done for tackling this now while she is young. It’s not easy but one day she will thank you for looking after her long term health.

Are you sure that the scales are accurate? It seems odd that she would be that weight and still fit into age 6 clothes.

I would be trying to fill her up more with breakfast to avoid the walking snack. One slice of toast isn't much, so would she eat 2 with nut butter? It sounds like you can tweak things relatively easily.

Actually if she is up at 6:30 then I can see she could need a snack two hours later on the way to school. Why is she up so early? Lack of sleep messes up with your hunger and satiety hormones and disturbs your blood glucose control.

My son is nearly 6 and healthy and has 2 small snacks a day- one in the morning and one in the afternoon and that's it. It would never occur to me to give a snack on the way to school, that's an easy change you can make straight away. I make sure the snacks are healthy / healthy-ish most of the time and limit the crap and sugar.

Examples of snacks
Fruit
Cheese and crackers
Toast
Hummus and veg sticks

On the weekend the kids can eat whatever crappy cereal they like and sometimes I use food colouring to make rainbow pancakes but during the week I am strict on the cereal being healthy/ low sugar. Ds doesn't like Weetabix anymore but if he did I would just give him one not 2 and I never put honey on anything.

I never feed the kids meat - eggs, cheese, beans, peanut butter and tofu all provide plenty of protein. An omelette with veg is a quick and easy meal for your club night, I use 1 egg per child. I also drive the kids nuts with my insistence they drink plenty of water!

Good luck op x

@SprigatitoYouAndIKnow yeah they’re definitely accurate, the weight is distributed all over so I guess that’s why? She also wears baggy style clothes which probably helps

@EatMoreFibre try telling that to my kids 😅 they’ve all always been early risers, I’m talking all 4 up at 5.30-6 every day. They go to sleep at 7/7.30. I’ve tried everything in the book to get them to sleep later/go to bed earlier but it doesn’t work!

This sounds similar to my DD who’s 5, she’s definitely hungry a lot. I also have two stepsons, both were skinny and one still is whereas the other has gained weight during secondary school.

No real advice as I’m struggling with the same. I’m focusing in teaching my DD about what food the body needs without trying to make certain foods ‘bad’, just less useful for the body. I find egg based food good for keeping fuller for longer, omelets, boiled eggs etc. My DD is also starving after school and I do a lot of vegetable sticks/cheese/ham but she definitely has a sweet tooth and I’m slowing working on cutting down the sugar.