Worried about DD’s ‘obese’ weight

[Peachylove]

DD6 stepped on the scales this morning (she doesn’t know what they are or what it means she just put it there when brushing her teeth) I had a look and she weighs 27.7KG. DS7 then did the same and he weighs 18KG. I checked on the BMI calculator and it says she’s obese!!

Ive been concerned about her weight for months but all friends and family tell me she’s fine and not to worry, but seeing how much she weighs has made me more worried. The weight is distributed all over, I guess some would say she has a chunky frame, but she does have a tummy that’s becoming more visible.. she’s in age 6/7 clothes though.

I don’t want to give her a complex or make her feel like she’s anything less than perfect but I think I need to find a way for her to lose some weight but I don’t know how to do that?!

I have 4 DC, they all eat roughly the same foods in varying portion sizes. Her brothers are all slim/skinny frame so I do wonder if she has a lower metabolism than them. DD6 & DS7 have the same size portions, she will polish off everything on her plate every meal time and always asks for more which I don’t often give her but I hate to think she’s actually hungry and I’m refusing food but I also don’t want her to be unhealthy or start to get picked on.

Her daily food goes something like this:

Breakfast 6.30/45am - she usually chooses 2 weetabix with honey & semi skimmed milk or 1 peice of toast.

8.30am - breakfast bar or piece of fruit on the way to school

10/10:30 - snack provided by school, always fruit or veg

12:00 - school dinner. She usually chooses jacket potato with cheese & salad, they do have a dessert also.

3.30pm - after school snack, they’re allowed one (sometimes 2) things out of our ‘snack basket’ which is less healthy options like squares, mini cookies, crisps, fruit roll ups etc then if they’re still hungry they can have fruit/frube/babybel. She usually ends up having 3 items as she moans that she’s really hungry

5.30/6pm - dinner, I make meals from scratch most of the time with veg, but on Mondays & Tuesdays they have quick oven food as we have clubs and don’t get back till later

she does gym, dance & cheerleading every week

be honest, what can I do to help her?

My 3 year old is 20.5kg so classed as obese. It’s due to ASD so we are finding it very hard to manage but she’s not gained anything in the last 3 months and we are continuing to try really hard to get her moving more and having help with obsessive/disordered eating

I’m sorry but I disagree. The NHS hand out nutrition advice that has made and kept a generation overweight, and disordered about food. Families are still told to switch to ultra processed, low fat foods packed with artificial sweeteners and empty carbs. It’s dreadful nutritionally and doesn’t help with weight long term.

The OP is being given sensible advice to cut the processed sugary, snacks and simple carbs and increase whole foods and healthy protein. It isn’t the advice you’d get from the GP leaflet for sure.

Thanks for the encouraging words! Realising that I’ve made some bad choices with our nutrition but at least I can turn it around now while they’re young. Definitely need to educate myself more on protein & sugar levels. It’s something that was never taught to me sadly.

feeling very positive now thanks to you lot and quite excited to make these changes, the snack basket goes tomorrow!

please do keep posting ideas of healthy snacks and balanced meals that are easy enough to do with 4 young kids.

@BananaPeanutToast I didn't suggest getting advice from the GP - I said get a referral to a state registered paediatric dietician who'll have done a degree in dietetics and have extra paediatric training. I personally think that taking advice from internet randomers on her daughter's health and future when it comes to food - given the epidemic of ratings disorders and disordered eating that is borne out here on Mumsnet is misguided and could actually be dangerous in the long run. No one here knows the Op personally or her daughter and her daughter should definitely be given the chance to have expert, personalised advice NOT guestimates as to what she needs.

If you are any more info about sugar intake - highly recommend @ glucosegoddess on Instagram

I'm an adult with a sweet tooth and have replaced honey or equivalent in Greek yogurt with this flaxseed and cinnamon mix from Holland and Barrett. Not sure what it would be like for a child's palate, but I feel it tastes sweet without actually containing much sugar.

It doesn’t sound terrible - the things that stick out most to me is she doesn’t need the breakfast bar on top of breakfast and the snack basket sounds like a sugar rush rather than a good filling snack. Make sure she’s not having drinks such as smoothies which also contain additional calories and lots of sugar.

After school snack ideas:

• toast/half a bagel/a crumpet
• crackers with cream cheese
• cereal (not sugary!)
• Small bowl of soup with piece of toast
• Oatcakes
• apple with nut butter
• rice cakes
• ham wrap
• homemade no added sugar muffin (sr nutrition has good recipes)
• malt loaf with spread of butter
• Hot cross bun
• Small sandwiches - tuna, marmite, grated cheese
• Breadsticks/veg sticks and yoghurt or hummus dip

Dietitians are not GPs! Theyll be able to give proper patient centred advice for OP and her daughter, the nutrition knowledge you’d get from a registered dietitian would be worlds above what you’d get from a GP.

I really don't know where you're getting your information from but the British Nutrition Foundation AND the British Dietetic Association work with the government to formulate policy. Last time I looked (a month ago) their information was current and up to date.

If the OP is struggling she should go to the GP and get a referral to a dietitian as the people on here are talking a lot of rubbish which will just cause more anxiety. The alternative is to look on the BNF website.

That sounds like a lot of food for a 6 year old. Skip the breakfast and pack her a small helping of Greek yogurt with some nuts, apple slices and a bit of honey to eat on the way to school. Or serve that for breakfast and no snack in the car. After school only offer boring fruit - apples and oranges or similar, so they will only eat if hungry, not for a treat or a sugar fix. No after dinner yoghurts or lollies. These are not nutritionally useful and they train the palate to want a sweet thing after a meal.

At weekends and holidays, I make a snack box for the day. Once it's eaten there are no more snacks. I try to include fruit, veg, protein, carb and a little treat, so could be whole carrot, chomping it from the whole carrot takes more effort :-), sliced raw mushrooms, some cashews or pistachios, apple or pear, two breadsticks or flapjack or small sandwich fingers, and a set number of sweets, such as 5 haribos or jelly beans.

You could make a snackbox for each child, and get their involvement in preparing them (if they're interested!) which I find keeps engagement in the idea of their own box for the day.

Knowing it has to last for the day seems to work (most days) in terms of keeping an eye on intake.

School morning break snack is usually a mini peperami or babybel.

For further engagement you could get them to make a chart to hang up of all the possible snack options, then they could choose from the chart each day, adding options from the different groups, and might assist with food choices as they get older and more freedom / choice at school.

Good luck!

Agree more protein esp for breakfast and after school snacks. More veg too, and then oat cakes and homemade popcorn etc rather than shop bought snacks. Humus, eggs, cheese, nuts. Shift away from sweet to savoury and to more filling and slower to eat.

Sorry I also meant to add a big issue is often the portion size - for example when I put bowl of soup and toast for afternoon snack I don’t mean normal adult bowl of soup and two pieces of toast I’m talking like an inch of soup in a child bowl with one slice of toast max with it.

Sandwich after school with a savoury filling? Marmite / turkey / cucumber /Brown bread. I did that when I was concerned about sugar but they'd come out of school starving. No need to tell them that - just say it's because they are hungry so it's more filling.

Carrot & cucumber sticks. Watermelon - it is sugary as it's fruit, but has lower glycemic load than some other sugars.

Some other fruit!

Completely agree with this when I had suspected gestational diabetes the hospital dietician advised me to only drink diet sodas!! (I only drink water and coffee)

For my DS, I went to the GP first and he ran blood tests to make sure there wasn’t a medical reason for the sudden weight gain.

Then after that, we were referred to the dietitian at the same practice. DS’s main complaint was that he often felt very hungry - so she created a food plan that increased protein and vegetables intake earlier in the day. We have some good ideas now for school lunches including when he is in a rush.
We use the Yuka app to scan the barcodes of food stuff we buy - yoghurts are particularly sugary while advertising themselves as healthy.

I definitely recommend a dietitian to avoid risk of ED and so the child feels happier about it with their input taken into account.

Preach.

I had GD in both pregancy i was SHOCKED in 2022 at what the nhs dietician who they insistedi saw, was recommending.

they were recommending muller lights, low cal bars and fruit as snacks and saying you should eat "balanced meals with healthy carbs"
examples included
White rice ?! meat and veg
spag bol, jacket potato and cheese!?!

Just nuts..my blood sugars would have been off the charts...

They were still pedelling the same shit in jan 2024 when i was pregnant with my 2nd.

I know the old trope is ‘you can’t out run a fork’ but I think at this age you quite easily can. My two have always had big appetites, and I’ve been pretty relaxed in sugar, but they’ve always done an ungodly amount of sports and now as pre teens are fit, strong, and lean but not skinny.
If she’s the only girl in a houseful of boys (forgive me if I’m reading that wrong) maybe just think for a minute whether they are the expected/rewarded for playing differently- does DD get praise for playing quietly and the boys for going outside for example? Not intentionally- but it’s easy to do and often reinforced at school. Can she be encouraged to run around with her brothers more?
if she like dance/gym wtc, if family finances and time can absorb it, can she do some more classes or sessions?
just a thought

Healthy kid friendly snacks that we are;

Hummus with wholewheat pitta bread or veg sticks

Cheese and crackers or rice cakes

Nut butter with apple slices, rice cakes or apple crisps

Leftover chicken

Deli meat slice roll ups - wrap around cheese or Cucumber sticks

Full fat Greek yogurt with sliced fruit, Bananas for sweetness, touch of lemon curd, peanut butter, Nutella very occasionally

Homemade Greek yogurt Popsicles
Blend Greek yogurt, berries, banana or whatever you fancy, add a splash of coconut water to loosen if needed and freeze in moulds

Freeze yogurt in Raspberries (use ice cube trays)

Nachos using pre cut into triangles air fried tortilla wraps, cover with grated cheese, serve with homemade salsa and guacamole

Fruit and cheese kebabs- get them to make their own using wooden skewers and drizzle with a touch of honey and nut butter nuked for 5 sec in the microwave

Toaster pizza pockets - fill a pitta with pizza sauce, grated cheese and any other toppings. Pop in a toaster toastie bag or in a dry hot frying pan for a couple mins until melty

Pizza bagels - toast bagels add pizza toppings and stick under the grill until melty

Air popped popcorn necklaces. Use a plastic or kid friendly needle And thread the popcorn on to make bracelets, necklaces etc

Banana slice sandwiches- stick two slices of banana together with Peanut butter

Create your own mini wrap or cracker snackers using Deli meats, cheese, left over and spreads

Fruit rainbow platters

Veggies tacos or tuna

Sweet potato wedges with cream cheese and chive garlic dip

Left over chilli, cheese, sweet potato fries with homemade salsa and guacamole

Left over roast chicken, touch of curry powder and yogurt wraps for a super healthy coronation chicken wrap or toasted sandwich with lettuce and Cucumber

I get my kids involved and as hands on as possible, it's a mess but fun, uses some of thay dead time between home time and dinner and gets them learning about the food their eating. Some of these can be adapted in full meals or side dishes.

Your daughter will blame you for her weight issues and unhealthy lifestyle when she is older if this continues.

I'm just putting that out there.

I was an obese child til age 15. I've never been overweight (aside from postpartum) since. I can't get over how I was allowed to have so many snacks. I was a child? I didn't know the long term consequences of all of this. When I learnt them age 15, I felt icky and gross.

Your daughter doesn't need to be obese. Cut the rubbish. It's far easier to lose weight by eating less than eating more and burning off excess calories. Your daughter is eating too much if she is obese. That's the truth of it.

you can offer healthier snacks. The boys don’t need that much sugar either, it’s also bad for their teeth. Generally constant snacking is a bad habit, can you try and give them bigger portions with plenty of protein at main mealtimes?

My kids don’t snack at all anymore, most dayd they have 3 main meals. My 9Y old weighs about thr same as yours DD.

You don’t mention drinks: does she drink enough water? I would try and not give sodas and juices unless for a special occasion.

Apart from the weight she is also really at risk of dental decay with amount of sugar she is eating during the day. I assume she brushes in the morning, but as soon as she has that sweet snack walking to school she might not have bothered! But maybe this can be the reason you are cutting down on sweet snacks - that you are worried about ALL of their teeth, so the snack basket goes, they can have a cheese sandwich instead!