Worried about DD’s ‘obese’ weight

[Peachylove]

DD6 stepped on the scales this morning (she doesn’t know what they are or what it means she just put it there when brushing her teeth) I had a look and she weighs 27.7KG. DS7 then did the same and he weighs 18KG. I checked on the BMI calculator and it says she’s obese!!

Ive been concerned about her weight for months but all friends and family tell me she’s fine and not to worry, but seeing how much she weighs has made me more worried. The weight is distributed all over, I guess some would say she has a chunky frame, but she does have a tummy that’s becoming more visible.. she’s in age 6/7 clothes though.

I don’t want to give her a complex or make her feel like she’s anything less than perfect but I think I need to find a way for her to lose some weight but I don’t know how to do that?!

I have 4 DC, they all eat roughly the same foods in varying portion sizes. Her brothers are all slim/skinny frame so I do wonder if she has a lower metabolism than them. DD6 & DS7 have the same size portions, she will polish off everything on her plate every meal time and always asks for more which I don’t often give her but I hate to think she’s actually hungry and I’m refusing food but I also don’t want her to be unhealthy or start to get picked on.

Her daily food goes something like this:

Breakfast 6.30/45am - she usually chooses 2 weetabix with honey & semi skimmed milk or 1 peice of toast.

8.30am - breakfast bar or piece of fruit on the way to school

10/10:30 - snack provided by school, always fruit or veg

12:00 - school dinner. She usually chooses jacket potato with cheese & salad, they do have a dessert also.

3.30pm - after school snack, they’re allowed one (sometimes 2) things out of our ‘snack basket’ which is less healthy options like squares, mini cookies, crisps, fruit roll ups etc then if they’re still hungry they can have fruit/frube/babybel. She usually ends up having 3 items as she moans that she’s really hungry

5.30/6pm - dinner, I make meals from scratch most of the time with veg, but on Mondays & Tuesdays they have quick oven food as we have clubs and don’t get back till later

she does gym, dance & cheerleading every week

be honest, what can I do to help her?

The only two things I’ve noticed are too much sugar/processed food (as PP have pointed out) and almost no mention of protein. All her meals seem very carb heavy, so I would just try make protein and veggies the main parts of each meal and include less processed stuff. Her brothers, even if more active so look skinnier, would probably benefit from a less carb-heavy/processed diet. Best of luck!

Oh and 18 kg for a 7 year old boy does sound very small so I think that exaggerates the comparisons. 50th centile for 7 year old boys is 23 kg

Thanks for the tips, with protein they do have meat most days which I want to cut down on but honestly I have no clue about nutrition or how to replace that protein source, healthy eating was never encouraged in my house growing up!

I don’t have a great relationship with food myself which doesn’t help, so I think some research is needed.

I don’t buy eggs as DS3 is allergic and gets really upset if everyone else is having egg and he’s not. Almost like not being allowed it makes him want it more!

Nuts also scare me but I need to get over that one. Any suggestions for how to include more protein?

sorry I’m so clueless!

I agree that she isn't eating enough protein. My dd has 'egg in a hole' for breakfast. It's all the rage apparently.

Cross posted with you about the eggs.

What about baked beans?

Yeah I’ve been concerned about him too for the opposite reason but DH assures me he was that skinny at his age and is fine. DS7 is VERY active, doesn’t stop moving, playing football, running around etc and he eats just as much as DD

Yes beans they love, so possibly beans on toast as breakfast?

I have porridge for breakfast and I'm not even slightly hungry until lunchtime. I have peanut butter in mine...even though my dd is anaphylactic to peanuts. I have to make sure I eat it all.

Beans on toast is a great breakfast

What scares you about nuts? Is anyone allergic?

I can in to say this. It's a lot.

You need to reduce the sugar and the carbs. Get more protein and fats in there.

She doesn't need that many snacks. The snack basket has to go.... people need to be able to build up an appetite in between meals and snacking prevents that.

Can you give her eggs for breakfast? Cereals are really not a good way to start the day.

Instead of just weight, how does it compare to their heights?

This might sound a bit weird but I've been doing it and it's helping me

So you get home from work/school, you're hungry and you get a bag of crisps, still hungry so a yoghurt etc and you've eaten 400 cals of crap and you're still hungry
The idea is turn it into a meal with protein and some actual goodness so 4 meals a day

So you could reduce the evening meal size a bit too, bin the snack off (technically) and add an extra "meal"
So say Greek yoghurt and fruit but throw some chocolate chips in, or have a plate with crackers, hard boiled egg, carrots, cucumber, make a Greek yoghurt dip

My sister is anaphylactic to nuts and my dad has a bad allergy to them too, so I’ve always been wary of them.. I even get nervous eating them myself! But all the DC have had nuts before so I know they’re fine I just need to get over it

1. You can’t compare a seriously underweight child to her so stop doing that. 18KG is really seriously low for a 7 year old.
2. What is her height? Weight stats are meaningless without them.
3. Considering the activities she does and that she’s still wearing age appropriate clothing, I’m willing to bet a lot of it is muscle. That’s probably why it looks even.

They’re all short, both me and DH have given them short genes 😂

I don’t know their exact heights but all the boys wear clothes sized younger than them for the length, DS7 is the smallest in his class. DD is probably just under average height, she’s slightly taller than DS7

Sorry just saw about the egg allergy but maybe you can use tofu instead?

Quiche is a firm favourite in my house (I also have 4DC, and it's one meal that everyone will eat). Could you substitute the eggs with tofu? That would be an excellent way to get protein in.

I also bulk out meals with lentils, cottage pie, spaghetti bolognese etc. I make sure that the kids have a lot of protein and then vegetables. Fruit is used for a snack whenever they want (daily). Carbs are a small amount of what they eat, unless it's sandwiches, obviously!

A typical week of dinners for us equals quiche twice. Cottage pie, spaghetti bolognese, slow cooked lamb taguine with couscous, lemon chicken with stir fried veg and rice, sausages and mash, plus pizza on a Friday. Lots of vegetables are served (it's hard to find veg that everyone likes so I tend to stick to peas, carrots, broccoli, cucumber, cauliflower and sweet corn and onions, mushrooms, Courgette etc are "hidden" but in there daily). The kids are obliged to eat the veg. We always have additional veg and if they want to try (they never do but I make sure that they see us eating it!) they can.

Lunches vary, but tend to be quick. They all eat at school, but I have noticed they are carb heavy, so don't focus on carbs at home.

I don't give them snacks, but the fruit bowl is always fair game and of course they eat it. Of course we share a big bag of crisps when we are watching a film and have ice cream on a hot day. I don't buy yoghurt every week but I do during the school holidays.

HTH!

I was going to say this! It’s a lot of sugar!
if my dc have had school dinners they often get cake or cookies for desert so I don’t let them have one after dinner other than melon or grapes or something like that

the snack on the way to school sounds excessive when she’s had breakfast

can you try a more filling less sugar breakfast?

snack after school be better doing rice cake breadsticks or banana instead

encourage her to drink more

I agree. The 7yo boy is below the 5th percentile, I just looked it up.
The 6yo girl is on the 95th percentile.

I think op needs to look at what ds7 is eating too. Filling him with sugary snacks after school isn't the answer there either.

https://simulconsult.com/resources/measurement.html?type=weight

When I was a kid my mum thought snacks were an American invention and a ridiculous idea. We were all a very healthy weight. My 7 year old is on the 35th centile. The only snacks I allow are the fruit bowl. Other than that you need to wait for the next meal. Hunger isn't an emergency and ultra processed food just makes you crave more junk.

@Mumoftwo1316 should have probably given more detail on DS7 but he wasn’t the focus of the post, he’s always been tiny, he was 5lbs born due to problems in pregnancy, he struggled to put on weight and dropped off the bottom of the percentile chart but eventually put weight on and doctors are happy with him. He’s short, nowhere near average height for his age so the weight isn’t as drastic when you compare it to his height. But I agree with PPs that he will also benefit from these diet changes

Honestly i dont think ds3 gets to dictate what's eaten. If he really has to be worked around id look at premade egg things that can be eaten in the car (when ds 3 isnt there?) Or set up breakfast and then let the older 2 get on with eating breakfast solo while you dress ds3

Cheese veg and egg muffins or scrambled eggs would be a great breakfast and easy swap

Also greek yoghurt or regular yoghurt / fromage frais....

You could also look at greek yoghurt pancakes (these could be premade.

Exercise is good for general health but weightloss "happens in the kitchen"

I don’t know if this is recommended for children but I swapped honey for root syrups like Troo or chicory root. I havnt seen it in supermarkets but bought it in Holland and barrat. great with plain yoghurt and wheatabix.

Is she genuinely feels hungry up the protein levels - as pps have said loose the sugary snacks but do think like rice cakes and peanut butter, oatcakes and cheddar or cream cheese, hummus with carrots, pecans and raisins, pumpkin seeds etc

It’s not to late to turn this around, don’t be dispondent, afew swaps and a little more activity will make all the difference. I know a 7 year old who’s 45kg and the parents are utterly oblivious…..

Well done for being on top of this now - so much easier to gently form some good habits at 6 vs 16 or 36…

some good advice from PPs about reducing the simple carbs and sugars to help regulate hunger.

you mention she does gym + dance + cheer. But I wonder how much sedentary time she has around that? It’s amazing how early boys separate off in to fizzing around chasing balls and girls just sit around chatting (sweeping generalisation here but I think it holds true for many)

A couple of hours exercise a week isn’t going to undo a largely sedentary life. And they spend so much time sitting at school already! Can you factor in a slower walk home from school via the park or an evening walk / more time outside etc.

i have a sort of general rule with my children that I’d like them to spend 2-3 x as much time actively playing (could be running around outside or could be building Lego indoors) as they spend being passively entertained by screens…