Opinion? Putting 3 year old in garden to calm down

[redfox92]

Me and my partner are currently in a heated debate because he doesn’t agree with me.
My 3 year old son is extremely strong willed and throws the worst tantrums to the point where you don’t want to be around him because he makes your blood boil. Shouting hitting screaming at the top of his lungs. Yesterday I put him in the garden alone. Dressed appropriately loads of things to do and occupy him. However my partner is saying this is neglect and the social will get involved. I literally left him out there for about 20 mins in total, having opened the door and spoken to him several times as he’s asking to come in. (I can see him through the bifold doors the whole time) He was told calmly each time, when you stop screaming and crying your welcome back inside. His dad works nights and was asleep upstairs, I have a nearly 2 year old along with a 4 year old. There’s enough noise in the house anyway without the added stress of the 3 year old melt down, and I’m sick of trying to reason with a 3 year old who clearly doesn’t have the emotional capacity to be regulating his emotions. Now am I out of order? He came back very apologetic and smiling. I think I done a good thing, my partner believes I’ll have the kids taken off me if neighbours hear about my parenting.
Please help… who’s right!?!?!

My friend has a child of similar age with the same kind of behaviour and she did the same as you. She put him in the garden, safe and in view to calm down and a neighbour called the police. She was absolutely mortified when they came round and still isn't exactly sure who it was.

Can you allocate a space in the house or in their room for them to calm down instead?

Time out for 3 year olds hasn't been advised for a long time.

This is awful. Reminds me of a documentary where Sinead O’Connor talked about her childhood and in particular how traumatic it was when her mother locked her out of the house. I would report you if you were my neighbour.

I used to pack my now adult DC off to the garden when they were being OTT. It was a safe garden with lots of things to do and it was a good distraction. They were soon engaged in something else and calmed down. TBH there were times when I had PMS when I felt they were safer out there as I had also reached the end of my rope. We are all only human and there are times when a solution will not seem ideal but is the best of a bad job. It is better than losing it and shouting.
They are entirely sane and well-balanced adults and unscarred. They have children of their own so understand the pressures