Patronising messages about formula feeding on formula websites!

[Gemmy96]

This is a bit of a rant so let me know if it would be more appropriate elsewhere.

I exclusively formula feed my child for good reasons. Unavoidable, not-a-choice reasons. When I was researching different options, I came across something that has really pissed me off. On every website I go on once you click "infant formula" there's an incredibly patronising message displayed that requires you to agree that "breastfeeding is best" before you're allowed to see the page! I'm assuming this is due to some kind of regulation. Screenshots attached below.

Am I wrong to think that men would never be expected to click "accept" or "I agree" to this kind of infantilising, shaming nonsense?! Why do we accept this rubbish? I DON'T agree that breastfeeding is always best, fed is!

People have all kinds of reasons for not being able or not wanting to breastfeed and it's often difficult enough without constant reminders that you're apparently not doing quite enough for your child. Sigh.

That is a very good point

I get it. I had to have 3 c sections because my body didn't get the memo that vaginal childbirth was what it was ACTUALLY designed for. For years, I felt utterly defective, and very sensitive about it - as if I wasn't a 'proper' mum. My kids are all (or nearly all) grown up now and how they were born is pretty irrelevant. The fact is that you're taking these messages personally, but really, they're not. And in time, how you fed your baby really won't matter a bit.

There's no denying the benefits of breastfeeding but of course fed is best. In years to come, it really won't matter.

Hi OP. You sound like me when my children were babies. I too had no choice but to FF and felt exactly the same as you're describing. I had terrible postnatal PTSD and the judgement around feeding added to my low mood a lot. It is something that still bothers me even now albeit on a very low level.

Sorry, but I think YABU.

Of course you aren't failing your child by formula feeding and formula is a perfectly valid choice for those who don't want to breastfeed as well as being an excellent alternative for those who do not actually have a choice. And of course, "fed" is best.

However, at a population level, there are benefits to breastfeeding over and above formula, and it makes sense to force formula companies to acknowledge this, otherwise some would be tempted to deliberately mislead. Nobody should be guilt tripped for making a decision that suits them best, but equally, that decision should be an informed one.

At an individual level, it really won't make much of a difference to your child at all - your baby will be fine, and that's all that matters.

I chose to ff I don't care what messages are out there it worked for us

Thank (some of) you for the kind and reassuring comments. I probably do have some level of PTSD from my birth and the aftermath. I know it's not necessarily aimed at mothers, but it's still upsetting to me. I hadn't considered the different reasons why it might be necessary so it was nice to have these pointed out.

Bloody hell!

I agree they may seem patronising when all info is freely available at the click if a button. The problem is historically formula companies have conducted themselves horrifically so can't be trusted to be ethical. They are literally responsible for the needless deaths of thousands of infants. That's why we have strong regulations in the UK. Sadly in many other countries without such regs they're still up to rotten tricks.

@ExasperatedManager tempted isn’t event the word. They will go through every loophole they can find.

last year the Lancet published a series on breastfeeding. Their evidence showed that formula companies were creating narratives that turned normal newborn behaviour (night waking, crying, wanting to be held) into problems. Of course these problems could be solved with their products. Playing on parents vulnerabilities and worries.

10000 percent agree! This angers me too.

Breastfeeding is not always best, you need to balance up the benefits and risks for each individual mother and baby.

Factors such as maternal mental health, medication, the baby becoming reliant on the boob to settle etc, distribution of roles between mother and father, all need to be taken into account for that individual mother and baby and their circumstances.

For the vast majority of babies, breastmilk is far superior to formula. Informed is best. I think more should be done to promote breastfeeding and its benefits especially as we have low rates in this country. This does not mean women should feel guilty for formula feeling of course (whatever the reasons and their personal circumstances) but it should be an informed decision based on the facts. I’m not necessarily saying that these messages on websites are the way to go about it though but many just don’t know the real benefits and facts about breastfeeding so could help them.

Yes! It's really awful having it there! It was very upsetting.

I understand it's there for regulatory reasons but it's not even true! EBF nearly killed my baby (she was readmitted seriously ill when my milk failed to come in). I was only on the formula company website looking for information and support for using formula as I hadn't expected to need it (lied to in NHS antenatal class that all women can EBF) and HCPs including my HV refused to provide support for formula feeding, or combi which is what I ended up doing.

It's not aimed at you. It's aimed at those who don't know and are formula feeding, who could have potentially breastfed with support. It's a last nudge for them to seek breastfeeding support. You know what the message means because you did try to breastfeed.

Breastfeeding rates are woefully low in this country and legislation that keeps formula companies in check is essential. If the legislation were to be removed and formula companies free to advertise as they please, have promotions and discounts and so on, it really would be disastrous.

im really sorry you’ve had those experiences. If you feel like it would help there is lots of support out there for perinatal mental health. Your hospital should offer a birth debrief. I’ve worked with women who found those really healing.

PANDAS foundation is a charity that works to support people with perinatal mental health including PTSD and PND.

100% agree it should be free on prescription.

I agree.
I FF by choice, maybe I could have BF but we will never know.
I respect womens choices on how to feed their baby, its none of my business but women who add the "didn't have a choice" disclaimer to FF suggests its a last resort not a valid choice

There are good reasons there needs to be a message like this, as people have explained.

Formula manufacturers are responsible for astonishing cynicism, negligence, manipulation, profiteering and the deaths of many babies. They continue to try and skirt the rules by promoting unnecessary follow on milks and suggesting the more you pay the better product you get. They couldn’t give a shit about you or your baby, they’re just trying to maximise their profits and will do everything they can to that end.

Fed isn’t best. Fed is essential. Informed and supported is best.

I’m so sorry you had a difficult delivery. I found a birth debrief at the hospital after my first very helpful and something you could consider if it hasn’t been offered to you.

It stems from the days when companies like Nestlé literally went round selling formula to women who didn't realise that they had a choice not to buy baby milk. There are still people who will not buy Nestle products because of what was done to African women who had neither the money, or the education to understand that it was all just a multi-national telling lies to make even more money.

It's a literal fact that about 2% of women cannot breastfeed. Nestle saw that 2% as a marketing opportunity and ran with it for decades. It was an absolute worldwide scandal.

Nobody should feel guilty or pressured into feeding their babies how they want. A happy baby is a fed baby. But companies like Nestlé carried out some abhorrent practices in the past, which has led thankfully to proper legislation so that they can no longer get away with it.

I also agree that formula should be free for those women who can't breastfeed.

This is a great lecture about how they still operate even in the UK with our strict regs..they have moved into specialist milks, diagnosing of CMPA being the main. Also a great article in the BMJ about how formula companies are using CMPA to both undermine breastfeeding and sell enormous amounts of specialist milks, with virtually no science to back it up. There's a vacuum in the research so they fill it with mumbo jumbo designed to sell more product.

For the vast majority of babies, breastmilk is far superior to formula.

Not true. On a population level, there are advantages to breastfeeding. On an individual level, where there is access to clean water and sterilisation, the difference is negligible at best.

Comments like this are designed to make vulnerable new mums feel like crap.

Thinking that it’s some kind of problem if a baby ‘becomes reliant on the boob to settle’ is a heartbreaking attitude!!! That’s exactly what I mean by insidious marketing- where do these mad ideas come from. Babies are designed to settle on the boob - is the most natural instinctive thing in the world, not a problem to be solved!

I would also love to see free formula, or extremely regulated so that it's incredibly cheap. The actual product is very cheap to produce..it's completely unethical that a baby's only food source is dependent on extreme capitalists.

Define 'can't'.

Don't produce a drop of breastmilk? Produce some but not enough? Their mental health would be severely compromised by breastfeeding?

And who is the arbiter of whether or not a woman's decisions not to breastfeed is worthy or not?

It's such belittling crap! Trust women!