Patronising messages about formula feeding on formula websites!

[Gemmy96]

This is a bit of a rant so let me know if it would be more appropriate elsewhere.

I exclusively formula feed my child for good reasons. Unavoidable, not-a-choice reasons. When I was researching different options, I came across something that has really pissed me off. On every website I go on once you click "infant formula" there's an incredibly patronising message displayed that requires you to agree that "breastfeeding is best" before you're allowed to see the page! I'm assuming this is due to some kind of regulation. Screenshots attached below.

Am I wrong to think that men would never be expected to click "accept" or "I agree" to this kind of infantilising, shaming nonsense?! Why do we accept this rubbish? I DON'T agree that breastfeeding is always best, fed is!

People have all kinds of reasons for not being able or not wanting to breastfeed and it's often difficult enough without constant reminders that you're apparently not doing quite enough for your child. Sigh.

But none of this is relevant at all to the question of whether formula companies should be obliged to inform customers that their product is inferior to breastmilk.

No - they don’t need any messages on their packaging as it has no influence over the decisions parents made on how to feed their family.

First of all, you don’t speak for everyone. Bit arrogant to suggest you do.

Second of all, it is in everyone’s interest but most of all the people who have no choice but to formula feed that the formula companies are regulated to stop them (i) lying about their products, (ii) adding ingredients purely for marketing purposes (rather than to benefit babies) and (iii) ripping off consumers, all of which they have done in the past and some of which they continue to do.

The messaging on the packaging helps to guard against (I) and is part of an overall package of regulation that attempts to protect customers against all 3.

Mn is full of individuals opinions. Your comments are your opinion as are mine . When I was buying formula I didn’t read the packaging - it was irrelevant. I just bought the brand my local supermarket stocked the most of.

Sure but - maybe it was unintentional - when you said it has no influence over the decisions parents made on how to feed their family it seemed like you were speaking for all parents.

If you don’t read the packaging and don’t care about it I’m not sure why you object to the messages being there.

The message is blatantly patronising but do you really think it’s going to make someone change their mind as to how to feed their baby?

But @Grinchinlaws it's the fact that there is no information generally put out there that BF might not work. I didn't make an informed choice to BF, I had no idea it had any risks attached. It was made very very clear antenatally that the only acceptable choice was to EBF.

I did an NHS BFing antenatal class, led by their lactation consultant/infant feeding lead. It was three hours of how amazing BF is, what is in breastmilk, what to expect in terms of cluster feeding. It was heavily emphasised that we must BF as soon as possible after birth, BF on demand, do loads of skin to skin.

The only time formula was mentioned was as something that's 'unnecessary'. We were told that all women can EBF. Yes we were actually lied to!

This attitude then leaks out into BFing groups as it's all put down to effort. I actually had one woman tell me at a group that "I really love my baby so I worked really hard to make BFing work". She evidently thought that anyone not EBFing just wasn't trying. The really hilarious endnote to that one is that I bumped into her years later and I'd actually managed to BF for three years longer than she had as she'd got so fed up with the intensity of EBF she'd given up completely at 6 months

It would have been far more useful to have been risk assessed in late pregnancy as high risk for BFing problems, put on a feeding plan from birth with formula top ups alongside BFs.

@Grinchinlaws I was also given the advice about numbers of wet and dirty nappies. I repeatedly mentioned my concerns about lack of wet nappies on postnatal to the infant feeding team, to the maternity phone line and at midwife home visits. My hospital had a policy of not weighing babies between birth and 5 days.

One midwife even laughed at me and said 'First time mums don't know what wet nappies are like", then reassured me that all was fine and to keep on EBF. My baby was readmitted 24 hours after this seriously dehydrated.

There is a huge amount of gaslighting going on, new parents realising there's a problem and it being denied repeatedly. You see it in the online/FB BFing groups too - pics of a heartbreakingly scrawny baby who BFs non-stop, never settles, exhausted mum at the end of her tether is just cheerled onwards to carry on EBF.

@Grinchinlaws why is it not OK for formula companies to lie about their product but absolutely fine for maternity services etc to lie about BFing?

I didn't trust formula companies before anyway (their purpose is to make a profit after all) but it's the BFing 'industry' which caused our problems. And it is becoming an industry, there's people making a lot of money here - from UNICEF and its Baby Friendly Initiative (which is almost impossible to avoid now as it seems to have spread to every hospital) to lactation consultants capitalising on people struggling and people selling dubious BFing gimmicks.

I think maternity services need to face up to the lack of trust many mothers have with them after their experiences don't match what they were told antenatally. I wasn't even told about cluster feeding. Perhaps they see it as ok because it's "for the greater good" unlike formula companies that mislead people to make money.

I'm really cynical about the whole breastfeeding message, it just seems to pit mums against each other and screw with some mums mental health rather than normalising breastfeeding in a positive way.

It explains that combi feeding can reduce milk supply, which is factually correct.

As several people have complained on this thread, there isn’t enough accurate information out there about feeding. It is very possible that someone reading that message might not know the information already. Why do you object to women being provided with the facts? If you already know it all then it isn’t aimed at you.

It’s not a race to the bottom is it?

Shouldn’t the aim be accurate information for everyone rather than suggesting that everyone, formula companies included, should have the right to provide inaccurate info? I find these arguments absolutely baffling.

Well I also did an NHS antenatal class and NCT and both were very balanced about feeding. The vast majority of people in the U.K. formula feed so in my experience the NHS recognise that and in fact I was encouraged to use it when one of my children was big because apparently it would be “impossible to satisfy her with breastmilk” (not true). I was also told that my tongue-tied child just had a “really strong suck” (also a load of rubbish).

So I don’t doubt you had a bad experience. You’re clearly still hurting from it and furious about it. And I agree that there needs to be better advice for all women on all forms of feeding, that is independent and balanced.

But NHS isn’t some amorphous blob - it is made up of individuals who are overworked, often undertrained (on feeding) and mostly trying their best. Maternity services in this country are stretched to their limits. People are not “lying” or “gaslighting” about bf - they are just uninformed (and in the case of the groups, usually not medically trained and sometimes a bit mad). Which, I agree, is shameful. But it is not some grand conspiracy - nobody profits from bf. Compare that to the formula companies whose existence depends on people
not breastfeeding.

And still, whilst not all women can bf successfully, breastfeeding when it works is better for babies than formula. It is absolutely right that the formula companies should not be able to manipulate women into thinking otherwise in pursuit of profit.

One of my friends had a difficult bf experience where her milk didn’t come in and was very bitter about it to the point where she was really critical of me for doing it. She had desperately wanted to bf herself but it didn’t work out, and her way of dealing with it was to slag off bf every chance she got. Some of the comments on this thread do remind me of that. It’s a shame it is so emotive but unavoidable.

Completely agree with this.