Beautiful daughters

[OneWorldly4]

If you have a beautiful daughter, how was her experience at school?

Was she popular? Was she unpopular? Did she get bullied because of her looks? How was she treated by her peers as she moved through school? If her experience was negative, how did you help her through it?

Interested to hear of your experiences please.

You said you tell her she's beautiful throughout the day. That's at least several times a day, and an unusual focus on her looks.

Where did the poster gloat?

This is difficult to write and word but my mother is completely not beautiful by conventional standards; I don’t consider myself beautiful but have had some experiences in life that might mean I am considered attractive by some. I have been a model for L’Oréal, always had lots of male attention; I am not saying this to be arrogant - This is relevant because beauty was never ever mentioned in our household, neither was womens’ roles or how beauty might impact a woman’s life. It was almost considered shameful to think that being a beautiful woman or attractive would mean anything at all. I think my mother would like to have believed it doesn’t matter in life.. but truth is it does impact you. I think all women are at risk tbh even in 2024- I think you would do well to help your daughter not to ‘know she is beautiful’ but more be very aware of what a good partner is and to avoid dangerous situations. These are things all women need to know to be honest and my mum was really quite exempt from them herself and I wish someone had taught me. I look back at my teen and young years and think wow I placed myself in such risky situations and was very lucky nothing went very badly.

Having read a few other posts on the thread - I also have struggled with female friendships through my life. I have a few old friends who I am close to but find women to be very stand offish towards me. So I am quite independent now and it doesn’t bother me but it affected my confidence terribly in my teens and twenties. The other issue I have faced is in the workplace where I feel the issue was the same although perhaps more serious when another colleague repeatedly kept undermining my performance at work saying I was ‘only a pretty face’ for the client. It was difficult to navigate for me as I am quite non confrontational and I would never ever bring this type of behaviour into a place of work or anywhere else! I think if you are striking physically then you often have to work a bit harder for people to see the other qualities or characteristics you have as it’s what people see first and make all types of judgements about you.

I was also a model (photographic) and was really not attractive at school. Loads of negative comments.

I was the classic ugly duckling to swan. I don’t think you can predict beauty at primary or early secondary really.

I suddenly developed cheekbones at 17/18.

I have said I have received lots of comments from other people, be that family, friends and strangers. I have asked people for their experiences and many have talked about their experiences, which they have shared, the good and bad. If you have nothing further to add, please feel free to carry on with your day.

Why would you ask this at 7? Many DC are adorable when that age and as teens look pretty plain.

One of my own DC was real plain looking up until about 12, then suddenly hit puberty and is now drop dead gorgeous.

I have said I have received lots of comments from other people, be that family, friends and strangers. I have asked people for their experiences and many have talked about their experiences, which they have shared, the good and bad. If you have nothing further to add, please feel free to carry on with your day.

But you did say that you tell her she is beautiful throughout the day then you asked where you had said it.

My dd is twenty and exceptionally beautiful. She's always been beautiful and people would stop me in the street to tell us so. I used to find it irritating to be honest. I would handle it by saying 'so are you' or something like that to strangers but to people I knew I told them to stop it. Fortunately her looks are not the only attribute she has.

Can't comment directly as I have beautiful boys 😁 there were some horrible and lovely beautiful girls at my school. However, what they had in common was that secondary school was a bit of a hey day for them, and I think the danger is that this prevents a desire to move on and develop in other areas of life. So both the horrible and the lovely ones stayed in our small town and married and had kids quite young. Nothing wrong with this but possibly limiting options.