Beautiful daughters

[OneWorldly4]

If you have a beautiful daughter, how was her experience at school?

Was she popular? Was she unpopular? Did she get bullied because of her looks? How was she treated by her peers as she moved through school? If her experience was negative, how did you help her through it?

Interested to hear of your experiences please.

I don't think so. Because I think a sunny disposition then endears people to you anyway. So it builds confidence and friendliness

I genuinely think being attractive (at any age) is just a positive really. Maybe if you RELY on your looks it'd be a problem. But you just need to teach your kids beauty is skin deep and no matter how stunning you are, you won't be forever

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow agree, the pretty dc in school normally peak way too soon.

I'd be surprised if there are comments due to jealousy at age 7. I've taught Y3 for a decade and it's just not what I've seen happen at all. I thought studies showed that children are generally most keen to play with attractive children? That's certainly my experience. Ultimately, being attractive is going to prove much more of a benefit in life than being unattractive and it is naive (perhaps faux naive) to suggest otherwise.

My daughter is beautiful inside and out also. Very very kind soul will do anything for everyone but that unfortunately makes her a target of nasty children that want to put her down. That being said my daughter is also very sensitive as she's so kind she can't understand why anyone would want to be horrible for no reason to her when she's so nice to everyone. She's also 7, she's very popular in her class and I will say teachers pet they love her she has a very motherly instinct and is very hands on with helping house chores or shopping etc. I've just had a baby and she's they best sister even tho she has to other brothers she hasn't been this age and had a baby brother she's amazing, I hate when people are unkind to her

All our children have been blessed with exceptional good looks but only one has been bullied for it. The bullying got so bad we had to home educate for a year, this was the child who didn't think that they were attractive

They're all gorgeous at 7! All clear skin and rosy cheeks and bright eyes.

I'd make a concerted effort to steer the conversation away from looks every time it comes up OP. My 6yo has shown zero signs of noticing that one person of any age can be better looking than another. She coos over cute babies and younger children (sometimes just a few months younger ) but that's it. As PP said, it's all about who has the coolest toy or keyring or is allowed something she isn't. I find it very strange that this is starting so early and would want to be batting it back as much as possible.

I have a 14 year old daughter, she's naturally pretty- but 'different' from most other girls her age, so she gets A LOT of attention from boys, which then means she gets very negative comments from girls. She's genuinely nice- the girl who sits with someone who is alone at lunch time, helps pick up books/ stationery when someone has dropped things in the chaotic corridor. She doesn't look the same as most of her peers as she doesn't wear makeup, doesn't have false eyelashes, doesn't swear & isn't interested in being seen as 'popular'. Unfortunately this behaviour seems to have attracted a lot of unwanted male attention, which in turn means 99% of the girls in her year don't like her- she's bullied every day & called 'Angelina Jolie'- I've told her this is actually a compliment, but from other children it is supposed to be an insult?! She's called ugly, posh, a 'pick me', stuck up, fat, an attention seeker- to name but a few. She honestly can't wait to leave school, it's so very sad that other children/ girls can't just accept people for who they are & not what they look like.

Sorry to hear this. I hope your daughter is ok

Sorry to hear this too. All the best

My DD was quite striking and extremely tall. She was told by almost everyone she ever met, from a ridiculously young age, that she would be a super model when she grew up. She hated it, did not want to be a super model and as she moved onto her teens got lots of unwanted attention.
Her reaction was to chop her hair short, get lots of piercings, a few tattoos and look less like a supermodel. Unfortunately it has not stopped the comments but they are now more likely to be debating whether she is a trans woman( due to her height) but apparently, according to the delightful men who think it is okay to loudly comment, apparently her bum gives it away that she is actually female. So yes...it can be tough.

Everyone thinks their own children are beautiful but they don't post about it on the internet

I would also add that although it's common to say bullying is because of jealousy, usually it's because someone struggles to stand up for themselves and is unconfident.

Maybe a combination of being very attractive and being unable to assert yourself could result in bullying. But kids who are unconfident get bullied regardless of their looks. I think studies generally show attractive people get treated better by their peers. So it's definitely a positive

What I learned is to go straight to the top , right over their heads to complain rather than confronting them head on .

So you don’t focus on her looks but tell her she’s beautiful several times a day.

she’s 7. Stop making her being beautiful such a big thing. Puberty can do a proper number on kids.

friends child was scouted as a model. She had a chic blonde pixie crop, tall, delicate features. Then she hit puberty and strongly takes after her dad, bless her. Average weight, average height.

I assumed your beautiful daughter was at least a teen, and do wonder if you are projecting a bit here as to people being jealous of her? I'm not beautiful (but my dd's are obviously!) and I found that women who are very into wanting to be perceived as beautiful themselves, were very concerned about their own dd's being viewed as beautiful too, and anything that didn't work out for them was down to other people being jealous of them. If it's of any reassurance, the most beautiful child in my primary school who EVERYONE adored, grew up to be a very ordinary looking teen. So don't worry too far ahead for your 7 year old.

This is all very, very strange. What makes one child more beautiful than another? Lots of children are ‘beautiful’. So weird.

Agree; and I’m not being jealous or snide when I say that. I was the other way round - quite an ugly child, strong features on a small face, an unflattering brown short hair cut, very thin and bony.

As an adult, I’m tall and slim, blonde (thank you hairdressing!) and I’ve really grown into my features and prominent cheekbones. I’m not a beauty like Angelina Jolie but I think a few people are surprised at the adult I grew into versus how I looked at 7/8.

Equally many cute and gorgeous children have features that don’t look quite right on an adult face. One doesn’t really lend itself to the other, I’ve noticed quite a few very cute children are very ordinary adults.

And beauty can be quite subjective. Of the mums I know that have tried to sign their dc up for modelling, stating that they are incredibly beautiful or stunning, I largely wouldn't agree!

I have a 14 year old DD who is regarded as beautiful by her peers. There's a lot to worry about (men. All the things to worry about are men). However, a lot of the other things I worried about haven't happened and there have been two massive benefits.

Firstly, she is seemingly immune to bullying. I really thought she'd either get sucked into the bitchy, popular group or be bullied by them. Wrong. It's like no one dares. They will often tell her she is the most beautiful girl in the school but otherwise leave her alone. She is a shy, swotty teacher's pet sort and says that if all the popular boys didn't think she was so pretty she thinks she would definitely be bullied for this - as many of her friendship group sadly are :( I think if she actually dated the popular boys or did anything that challenged the popular girls she'd be at risk, but so long as she basically keeps her head down she has no problems.

Secondly, she has very few insecurities. She is insecure about her shyness but where other teen girls and worrying they're fat/ugly/etc she has total confidence that she looks fine. I do worry how she'll cope in later life when her looks fade, but can you imagine sailing through your teen years without any angst about what you look like?!

All that said, looking back I'm very grateful I was plain looking. But it's not all bad.

I had an elderly neighbour who according to her always had men chasing her back in the day. She's 76, in a nursing home now and I visited her recently and when i asked how she was getting on she completely straightfacedly told me "my problem is I'm so good looking. Men have always been after me and women hate me". Oh to be cursed with good looks 😂

Can you tell me where I say this several times a day?

You sound unpleasant by the way. Another person gloating about a child. It screams insecurity, sadly.

Mine is beautiful but she was a butterfly so doesn't have that attitude that comes along with growing up stunning. She's sweet, friendly to all and has a good group of friends. She definitely started out humble but could easily model now she's getting ready for uni.

@poshsnobtwit Samantha Bricks mum?