Beautiful daughters

[OneWorldly4]

If you have a beautiful daughter, how was her experience at school?

Was she popular? Was she unpopular? Did she get bullied because of her looks? How was she treated by her peers as she moved through school? If her experience was negative, how did you help her through it?

Interested to hear of your experiences please.

Is she beautiful or is she beautiful as in we all think our DC are the most beautiful DC ever?

I’m trying to remember the beautiful girls in my peer group. Aged 7 I wasn’t even aware of girls being pretty or not, anyway I was a tomboy and played with boys.
in secondary school I don’t remember anyone being beautiful. Those that acted as if they were more important than others were usually Anglo Saxon. Stereotypes with long blonde hair.
that probably doesn’t answer your question

Doesn't everyone think their child is beautiful?I
I don't think other children think much about looks. They like who they like and have fall outs all the time. I would be very surprised if other children are bullying your child because they think she is beautiful

I don't think you should tell her she is beautiful every day. Tell her she is strong, clever, kind, funny, amazing perceptive, a good friend. Anything other than looks. She may or may not turn out to be a more beautiful than average teen/woman. But it should never be the most interesting thing about her, it's just a jumble of genes.

Yes I thought this too.

beautiful according to who?

My daughter is nearly 14 and (objectively speaking) she is very beautiful and also very clever. She also has a very strong personality and doesn’t take any nonsense from anyone so hopefully that will keep her in good stead. Her 3 siblings are less academic and much more even balanced to be honest.

My Dd is 6ft, and looks like Anya Taylor Joy.

Shes 18 and stunning. Shes also ASD, so won’t go to school. When she did, she kept her head down and no one noticed her.

Does that answer your question?

Also l found in my 25 years as a secondary teacher that the truly beautiful blossom after school.

I find weight and body shape is a source of envy where girls are concerned . I was bullied in my early twenties for being tall
And very slim . It triggers women . Facially very few women are beautiful. Most are average but with long hair, make up and general presentation can look attractive. Good teeth and posture help too ,

My best friend through out school was pretty then as we got older was beautiful. She was lovely and very popular. However I don't think any teachers treated her any different. She hated sport but managed to get on with everybody.
However when we left school other women were bitchy about her. They were jealous of her looks which was sad.
She herself was never particularly vain. The whole family was attractive ,

My best friend at junior and high school was / is beautiful.. stunning she is.. very petite too...also very kind and caring snd intelligent .
She's still one of my closest dear friends although she now lives 500 miles from me.. we keep in touch.
Some of the other " nasty "jealous girls called her vain and snobby ..she was far from it.. she just looked after herself and trained to be a beauty therapist. She's had her own business years ( we are now 66) but she looks 46.
She used to ( and still does to a degree) looks like Marie Osmond ( but IMO better).
I remember at Girl guide camp some of the mean girls pinched her gorgeous new suede handbag ( she had worked n saved for from her Saturday job at an hair salon) and threw it in a cow pat.. yet she never retaliated

One of my friends daughters is only just 13 but is very beautiful. Shes a natural blonde, has lovely features and full lips. Shes also developed quite early and now looks a lot older than 13. When she started high school last year she did get a bit of bullying from some girls in her year but dealt with it quite well and it stopped. Shes very confident though and quite outgoing.

I imagine it's more the adults that notice just now than the kids at her age. I was very aware of what the adults thought growing up. My sister used to get comments, well they wld say to my mum oh she's so beautiful etc and then they wld notice me and go oh your beautiful too 🙈 eh ok thanks. It got way worse when she got to her teens especially when we went abroad on holiday. One time a guy on a motorbike had a second glance and hit the back of a car 😂

The really beautiful girls at my school were always popular, each year group seemed to have one stunning girl and they always had lots of friends. I think people of all ages want to be friends with beautiful people.

There were beautiful girls at my school. There were some who were popular because of their confident personalities.
There were some who went pretty much unnoticed because they were fairly quiet.
The ones who were unkind/mean started to look ugly very quickly.
Rumours had nothing to do with looks really. People could be mean and spread rumours even when someones not beautiful. People can also be jealous of things other than looks. Some were jealous if you were top of the class, if you were popular, if you had money/nice things etc

Looks can change too along the way. Try not to be fixated on how your DD looks.

Don’t most of us find our dds beautiful

I mean obviously not everyone is the next whoever standard of beauty but it’s quite a fluid thread as people will feel the same way about their dd

Plus I think being beautiful or attractive is a leg up more than anything

It’s a funny one as I think my DD of a similar age is very beautiful, but then doesn’t every parent think their child is beautiful? Parents of ‘plain’ children - would they actually realise? The phrase face only a mother could love must mean something. And people don’t really go round asking others at that age ‘is my daughter ugly or beautiful’ 😂. And all 6/7 year olds are adorable - PP was right.

I remember the most gorgeous girl in my class at school, all the boys liked her (I was at a girls' school so I mean the boys from the boys' school across the road) but I don't think the girls were mean / jealous. Not that I remember anyway.

Surely all parents think their children are beautiful?

I teach this age group and I really think 7 is too young to be aware of this. If girls are being mean to her then you should be talking to the teacher.

I completely agree. This is not something you need to be thinking about with a seven year old. They are all beautiful, and you don't know how they will change as they get older.

A beautiful face on either sex is pretty rare tbh. Even in Hollywood where you have lots of very attractive, slim/toned, groomed people a beautiful face stands out hence why Angelina Jolie or Margot Robbie have such an impact. And of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder as many won’t think those named are beautiful.

I also think it’s bizarre to see a 7 yr old this way as their face/bone structure etc won’t really have developed yet.

im attractive in a generic catalogue model way and think it’s only been a positive. I’ve never experienced jealously but I’m friendly and approachable and it wouldn’t really cross my mind that if someone disliked me it was because of how I looked.

An interesting conversation and thanks once again for sharing your views and experiences.

I think studies have shown people generally are nicer to more attractive people and they earn more. There's lots of benefits in life to being beautiful.

I'm attractive and I've been promoted easily, strangers are nice to me, the only downside has been men tbh. I've been stalked by male friends, had rumours spread about angry men when I've turned them down. It's genuinely been horrible. But on the flip side men when I first meet them are overly lovely to me. I noticed the difference when I was heavily pregnant and my face/legs swelled up and men stopped going out of their way to help me. It made me realise I must have had pretty privilege before...

So it's mainly been a positive. To your original question though... My daughter is little and beautiful. It's the first thing everyone comments on - but it also means people adore her. She's developed a sunny disposition as a result and beams up at people, expecting them to think she's cute, which they inevitably do.

I can't see many downsides tbh. I'd much rather my daughter has this positive in her life

I also wonder if every parent thinks their children are stunningly beautiful 😂 probably tbh

I taught secondary for 25 years. My observations are very different.

A specific type of girl is considered beautiful in secondary school. Probably fair, slim and friendly.

However as l said earlier the quiet stunning ones bloomed much later. The obvious ones looked kind of bland. The real stunners came later. Lots of ducklings into swans.

That’s all very well while she’s ‘little and cute’, but if the adoration on the grounds of her looks and size flags because she’s going through a gangly/ spotty/ puppyfat stage, or because she’s a less stunningly pretty adult than she was a small child, having grown to expect automatic approval on the grounds of her appearance will be difficult to deal with if it’s no longer forthcoming.