Trauma or Autism or Neither. Thread 2.

[StrugglesSadness]

@imip
@Scirocco
@Choconuttolata

Thank you with all of my heart to everybody who contributed to the first thread. You are all wonderful & have helped me through some very dark times.

Recap (Just) 11 year old son struggles with transitions & changes to routines. Extreme violence shown mainly towards myself but also his sister (7) (if he is able to get to her) & himself. Also runs from the home & has to be bought back by the police. Also absolutely trashes the home on a regular basis.

Social worker (who I asked for back in August) is extremely reluctant to put the paperwork through for an Autism assessment, despite school saying that my son 'masks' there & my son's counsellor saying that the assessment is needed, or to help us very much with anything at all really.

We've had a tough few days. The thing that I'm struggling with the most right now is that feeling of 'What's the point?'

So I go to tidy up my son's room/the living room or wherever & then I just think 'What's the point? Because he's only going to trash it again?'

We aren't living in squalor, I just don't see the point anymore in tidying/replacing items/putting items back together, when I know that it's all going to be flung/smashed/broken again next meltdown.

Why bother.

I'm sorry. It's exhausting. It really is.

Thank you Scirocco. I just seem to have lost all motivation. I used to be able to reason with myself but now I just keep coming back to 'Why bother'.

I suppose that I used to have the motivation of 'Maybe the SW will visit so it needs to be kind of tidy' but she barely responds to me (still) so it's just me & the kids.
I've just looked back & in the last 7 days I've sent her 6 emails & not so much as a... 'Thank you for the email' back.

6 might sound like a lot but when there's an evening & then a morning meltdown then that's 2 emails.

I had a one line email from the SW, asking me to clarify something that I'd told her twice in the previous email. That's it.

I spoke to 4YP & we have to start the referral process again for counselling.

No steps forward. 6 steps back.