To wish I never did NCT

[Stillhoping1990]

Need to vent and also see if anyone has found themselves in a similar situation.
Ive found my NCT group to have been more of a hindrance than a help. Everything is going great with my baby twins - then I speak to NCT mums who give unsolicited advice and I panic that I’ve done everything wrong.
The mums are constantly sending detailed messages in the WhatsApp group about their bedtime routines, feeding, ‘wake windows’ you name it - and tbh I found it quite tedious and I don’t know how they have time for this!
There is one mum in particular who sends pictures and videos of her baby every day in the group! Sometimes multiple pictures and talks about him non stop. It’s so annoying. I don’t care/want to see pictures of their babies when I have my own to be thinking of. I send pictures of my babies but only to family and friends who ask. It’s all very ‘show off ish’. Feeling like NCT has ruined my experience because they are so annoying. I can’t leave the group because I bump into them all the time in baby classes etc.

Mute it?

Could you at least mute the WhatsApp group for say 8 hours a day and just skim read it?

I don’t care/want to see pictures of their babies when I have my own to be thinking of.

You sound really mean tbh

Yanbu. I think this fuels parental anxiety and self doubt.

I'm jealous frankly. I did nct to make some local friends, and our group just never took off. No WhatsApp chat, no real meet ups after the first couple. So be lucky you have that support. If the group annoys you, mute it.

You don't have to be a part of it, leave it if you don't like it. Maybe the parents sending messages are feeling lonely and would like company. I loved my NCT group!

You sound a bit cantankerous. Just mute the WhatsApp. No one is holding your eyeballs open and making you look. It’s also permissible to dislike your NCT group. In mine, we just didn’t like one another, and I doubt we met more than four or five times in total.

I imagine with twins things are fairly hectic, so just prioritise the stuff, people, groups etc that make you feel good. I wouldn’t take a blind bit of notice of anyone else’s life or advice.

I agree. Even in the days before WhatsApp I found the competitiveness wearing although I did make a couple of good friends. Mute the group. You have twins you are really busy - you didn’t get a chance to reply. You don’t owe anyone anything. Eventually when people start going back to work it all dies down naturally. You might make a
couple of good friends so don’t dismiss it completely.

Mute it. They won't care

So just mute the chat and ignore? ‘Ruined your experience’ sounds way over the top.

I loved our NCT group and wish we’d had a WhatsApp- but I can see that having twins first time and having a singleton first time maybe makes for a very different experience, especially in the early days… so maybe their lives just don’t mirror yours? Are there twin mum groups you could join? And yeah- mute the chat for now but once the babies are a bit older you mind find you like the chance to have company.

Mute it.
Twins or triplets etc are completely different to having one baby, when there is at least a chance of getting into a routine. You’re only human and of course it will be galling to hear that they get to have a sit down or whatever whilst baby is asleep.
My DT’s used to make a point of never sleeping or eating at the same time.

Just mute it!

A lot of new mums are just lonely and having a support group can be really helpful. Fair enough if it's not for you but you do sound a bit harsh tbh.

Just pop in once a day and sprinkle a few emojis. ❤️🥰😊🤣🙈 should cover almost all of it.

Just mute it. Mil upset me on WhatsApp so I muted her for a week..job done. Once she has calmed down and I have calmed down we can return to normal. You can mute it forever......

Just mute it if you won't leave the group.

Personally, I don't see why you don't just leave the group. I highly doubt they would even notice and if one of them did say anything when you happened to bump into them out and about then you can just say that with twins to care for you barely get time to breathe, never mind use WhatsApp.

You could archive it. Some people find this stuff helpful, some don’t. No biggie.

Love this!

Mute it and try and find a twin group.

And the endless stream of photos/ videos in WhatsApp groups won't get any better - there is always at least one in each group IME.

Competitive/stealth boast parenting is the worst, and the main reason I came off Facebook. It’s so irritating and you can’t help but compare yourself with the show offs, inevitably feeling like shit. I’d love to say it gets better, but competitive mumming carries on through school years…our parent’s whatsapp has been awash with pictures of craft projects this week that “little Johnny” aka the mum has made…gaaah it winds me up!

Mute the group, get help for the anxiety and remember that this stage won’t last.

Mean? Don't be silly. She has twins! She is busy! But even if she were a lady of leisure, why on earth would she want to be looking at pics if someone else's baby every day?

Mute it and you don’t sound mean at all. You just sound like you have enough on your plate with your twins.

This sounds way too intense. Twins are hard work and you need to do what suits you. Life's too short for all this shit.