Teen nursery parents….just being nosey!

[Flowerpowertribe]

Last year I noticed at my DDs nursery in her class (babies) that one of the children’s Mums was a schoolgirl (dropped her off wearing her school uniform, looked 15/16).
This year she no longer wears a school uniform and picks up her child everyday with her boyfriend/the child’s father. I am guessing they are both 17ish based on finishing school last year and that they look very young etc. I am completely judging here (awful I know!) but based on how they dress/act, I would ASSUME they don’t have a lot of money/money for nursery fees. I would also query what they do for work as they are both coming to pick her up at 4pm 3 days a week, often in pyjama like wear.
Yes this is just awful and judgemental and really not very kind behaviour but I’m just curious/nosey as to whether you get free child hours etc if you don’t work…..maybe you get it if you continue education (they could be in college)?
Again, judgey and awful. But I’m more judging the government than the parents.

@tillytoodles1 "I was horrified when she told me, what the hell is this world coming to?"

Yes- teen pregnancies are an entirely new phenomenon. Just wondering- are you a Christian?

Some people get 15 funded hours from 2, which was quite annoying when I was paying for those same hours so I could work, and others were just dropping their kid off and going off in the car with their mates for a day off 😒

What does being a Christian have to do with anything?

I was a teen mum. I got 15 hours funded when I was at college and then child care grant that covered 80% of my costs when I was at uni.

Why would you be judging the government? If they give more free hours to very young parents surely that's a good thing?

Isn’t this antiquated thinking? Honestly, good parents are all ages, as are bad ones. Teen parents are nothing new and perhaps there would be more success stories if there was less stigma and judgement from older parents. I find some of the responses to the OP as offensive as the OP herself. Shameful.

@Dacadactyl "What does being a Christian have to do with anything?"

Jesus' mother was a teenager. And unmarried. Not a new phenomenon.

I wouldn’t have considered myself a child at the time - no way! I’d have been angry and offended anyone saying that. But now I look back, I am heartbroken for myself - I was a child.

They’re not adults who have made an adult decision, they might think they are, but their frontal cortex isn’t fully developed yet.

Yes, far fewer. It’s down globally, but under-18s down 68% in England and Wales between 2007 and 2021 (though I think up slightly again in 2022?)

I was that teen mum once upon a time. Lots of people assumed I was the big sister.
I constantly felt as though I was being judged by other people (women in particular). Does it matter that she might get extra help? Does the fact that she sometimes turns up in her PJs really impact on your life so much that you feel like you have to write a judgy post on here?

Apologies if this sounds judgy but perhaps you should get a hobby 😂

you knew very well they get funded places and know very well they don't work if they are in pyjamas. You just wanted to stir up trouble

You will never know for sure unless you ask them but as you have made presumptions about them I would hope you would do so with some tact.

One of them could be working night shifts and pay for childcare using universal credit.

The Government could be funding the childcare to ensure they can continue their education

Their parents or other family member could be paying nursery fees

One of them could be boinking the owner of the nursery and getting freebies (obviously said in jest before I get piled on)

Either way it must be hard enough being parents as teenagers and they don't need strangers judgement and online ridicule. I for one think any help given to young parents would be money well spent seeing as they are children themselves

I don't think she does know for sure that they don't work just because they're in pyjamas, maybe dad works nights, I was a teen mum in college and the college had a nursery that was free for students. My partner (yes I'm still with the dad) was working very hard. I am now wondering if people thought we were unemployed bums at the time 🤔

Who gives a shit?

Some children get 15 hours childcare at 2 years old if their parents are in receipt of certain benefits. Children who are disabled or looked after by the local authority may also be eligible. This was brought in for the benefit of the child to support them in having the best start in life.

I am a child of a teenage mum and I had an amazing childhood. My Mum is truly wonderful and worked hard to give me everything I needed and more. I’ve met some teenage parents who are far better at parenting than adults in their 20’s, 30’s or older.

Teenage pregnancies are actually at their lowest rate now than they have ever been.

When I was in 4th year (15-16) almost 30 years ago there was a cluster of girls pregnant at the same time. My sister also became a mother at 15.

Teenage pregnancy is not a new thing.

@Leah5678 no ofcourse she doesn't have a clue about these peoples lives but she is alluding to them not working...why else mention what they are wearing?

I know she thinks they're unemployed because they're in pyjamas I just wanted to say that might not even be the case.
People probably thought I was an unemployed bum because I had a child young but I've always worked except when I was at college

It's nothing to do with religion. It's the fact that these girls will be minding babies and having a huge responsibility at such a young age. The fathers will be paying maintenence (hopefully) when they should be going to uni and saving for their future.

My thoughts exactly

@tillytoodles1 I find it ironic that people criticise teenage mothers when the founder of Christianity was the the child of one.

Haha you'd judge me soooo much if you saw me at my boys nursery! I work from home, can afford my fees and pick him up at random times of the day wearing trackies with my hair in a messy bun! Have you considered the parents may actually be In highly paid jobs where they have the flexibility to collect when they want and don't need to dress a certain way to work?! They may be judging you, having to dress smart and be bound by when your boss says you can go 😂

But teenage pregnancy isn’t a new thing, you say ‘what is the world coming to’ but it’s always been happening 🤷🏼‍♀️

They may also be 19, having attended a school with a uniform for A levels, and now be doing an online degree or a normal office job where they work from home on days the child attends nursery and don't need to dress up...

Or they may be sister of the child, either just helping with the nursery run, or caring for the child for some reason, such as the death or inability to care of their mutual parent.

Whatever their circumstances, it's really positive that the child is in nursery.

Don't post daft, stuff on a public forum if you don't like people's honest responses I guess. It's almost like you aren't enjoying being judged by strangers....!