From what age would you be okay with being away from your child(ren) for two nights?

[cindysandy]

...during which time your DH/their dad would be looking after them.

It's not about trusting the father or not. It's about feeling comfortable being away from your child and wanting to be. I would always rather have mine close.

I have a two year old and I wouldn't, so it's hard to say. I guess it depends on the reason. If it was a necessity then I could probably suck it up but if it was a holiday I think I'd really struggle to relax

6 monthsish? We left DD for a night at my parents when she was 4 months old and admittedly I did cry when we left but I had a great time in the end.

I left my DD with DH at about 8 weeks, it was my best friends hen, she had been engaged for 20 years! Not sure when I did 2 but it was more out of lack of opportunity than not leaving dh in charge.

I didn't want to be away from them. My partner is more than capable of taking care of our children.
But I also don't much enjoy him being away for more than a couple of nights either. Because young children are hard work and it's tiring.

Breastfeeding dependent for me. I would do it now (youngest is 2.5) but honestly it would have been difficult/stressful for everyone up until about 6 months ago.

I considered leaving him overnight at about 1yo but in the end I'm glad I didn't as he took completely against DH at night.

I don't think it is bad for children to stay with their dad in general it was just an odd scenario.

Interesting question for you: Would you be asking the same question if it was your DH who was considering going away for 2 nights? I think DH travelled for work when DS2 was about 6 months old and it was fine.

Left dd with my mum at 6 months. Never left either with exh but that was circumstances rather than not trusting him, would have left them immediately if I had needed to

@MamaMode

Very difficult if you have a non verbal autistic child!

Somewhat ridiculous actually, you need more help not less

I spent one night away from DS when he was 23 months, and have just spent four nights away, he’s now 28 months. It was fine and had an absolute ball with his dad but I missed him terribly 😬

Huh. I would've been happy to leave mine with DH from a few months old as he's a perfectly capable and involved father, but we were/are breastfeeding and as it happens DC is almost 2 and I've still never stayed away overnight or even really for a full day. Just haven't had reason to (I don't have a life!).

However, I'd be extremely reluctant to leave her with anyone other than DH; she doesn't go to nursery and we don't even have family babysit. Lost my Mum a few years ago and think I'd feel differently if she was still here. I'm already worrying about what we'd do during labour/a hospital stay if we have another baby and that's still strictly hypothetical at this point!

I think this is totally individual.

I've been away from mine for two nights when they were younger, as in toddler ish age. I was fine with this as they had good childcare from grandparents.

However, now they're older (7 and 8) they very much like their routine and like us being home - they are total home birds and would miss us if we went away.

So I wouldn't leave mine now they have more 'awareness', although many will say we should, for us, we just don't want to. Bottom line is, if it feels ok for you, then it's totally personal choice x

I did one night at 13 months and 2 nights at 18 months. Have had to do 1-2 nights again here and there since then (she's now 2 years 7 months). DH definitely an equal parent so had no issues there with him coping etc. She was absolutely fine, spoke lots on video calls. My biggest worry became DH putting her in awful clashing outfits 😂 after the first time I was away, I learned that I need to lay out the outfits for each day beforehand.

Go, DC will be fine.

after the first time I was away, I learned that I need to lay out the outfits for each day beforehand.

I have friends who do all that. outfits out for DC and DH, long lists in the lines of 'for swimming, they need a swim costume and a towel, you need to go a little earlier so they have time to change', meals prepared and labelled, lunchboxes prepared, and of course they expect to get home to total mess and chaos.
I would lose all respect if I had to treat DH not like a capable parent but another toddler.

why would you lay the outfits out? What you might choose isn’t any more correct than what your DH might choose. Don’t treat him like a child .

The decision was taken out of our hands. I went into hospital when she was 10 months old and she and to go home to dad so I could stop breastfeeding.

I had no doubts that dad would do a good job the doubts at the time were how difficult she could be and if she would let him feed her formula as she had a strong bottle adversion. She didn't drink for the first 26h then she went to nursery and had 2 5oz bottles and was bottle fed form then on.
Dad had her 1-2 nights a week for the 2 months I was in hospital. Since she was 18 months I have had her for a few nights on my own and so has dad. For us it's no different

This is madness. I do nothing like this when I go away with work. I don’t prep PE clothes, swimming stuff etc or pre-cook frozen meals.
my DH is a capable adult who can dress his children and remember when PE day is!
he is an equal parent not a paid childcare helper.

Amy time. Without a second thought.

Dad is more than capable. Plus has infinitely more experience with babies and children.

I don't understand why people wouldn't trust the person they chose to have a baby with to care for said baby?

I did 5 nights away when dd was 8 months. Dh was fine as I knew he would be. No outside/ family help.

I would say a few months old.
I travel for work though so I'm away fairly regularly so it's never been an issue. Wouldn't think twice if leaving them with dad.

We also left DS with grandparents for two nights when he was 6 months so we could have a weekend away.

I learned that I need to lay out the outfits for each day beforehand.

Why? Presumably he can dress himself so why would you think him incapable of dressing children?

I literally leave the house without a second thought when I travel. Just like DH does.

We went away for 4 nights when apir one was probably less than a year, was spoilt at grandparents so no issues

Jesus christ it was lighthearted! Yes he is more than capable but he isn't the best at matching tops and bottoms for example, so I like to choose the outfits. Calm down.

Yes very important that a toddler has matching top and bottoms 🤦🏻‍♀️ and to infantilise a grown up man.
wait until kids choose their own clothes.

I've just thought about it and I've only been away from my eldest for more than one night at a time twice. He's almost 8! This is definitely from lack of opportunity and not because I don't want to leave him!

The first time he was almost 3.

I've only had two single nights away from my youngest. He's 2. I'm definitely ready to leave him for longer!

I had to travel frequently for work, long haul at least a week away a month when I went back to work after DD1 around 7-8 months.

I think coming out of Mat leave when your world revolves around them for months and you become the default carer to a large extent makes it a bit of a wrench to go away.
But, it was a game changer in DH's relationship with her. He was hands on previously but suddenly he has to do the thinking too and adapt without a 2nd opinion. His confidence levels with her improved so much and it took a lot of pressure off me to not have all the mental load. But he's great and I'm very lucky.