From what age would you be okay with being away from your child(ren) for two nights?

[cindysandy]

...during which time your DH/their dad would be looking after them.

As they were BF it would have been closer to 3 yrs than 2…
and in reality it was 4 and 7 years before my older kids were left for two nights..

I guess it depends on the father and the babies. Luckily my DH has always done everything with ours, bar breastfeeding, and they’re just as happy being looked after by him as by me. I’d be absolutely happy leaving them with him for two nights whenever they’re no longer breastfed.

Six months - went on BF’s hen do. I would have left her before then if anything else had come up tbh, DH was more than capable. Find it quite sad people are having babies with people they don’t feel safe leaving said babies with. BF aside, obviously.

I don’t really have a particular age in mind but I wouldn’t want to until my son can go to sleep on his own. He’s 9 months old at the moment and feeds to sleep (breastfeeding) every night. So I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving him over night knowing he would really struggle to get to sleep without me.

My children are 4 and 2 and I haven't done this.
Only one night apart any time I've been away.
Except for when I gave birth the second time which was 3 nights out of necessity

Didn't have a need but wouldn't have had an issue after about 6 weeks. His dad is more than capable

I can't remember with DS but DD was 13 month when I left her with DH at home for 2 nights. She stayed with my parents at 10 month though for 3 nights. At a guess I would say DS was roughly a similar age, but I had zero stress over leaving them with DH or my parents for that matter.

@MamaMode are you carribean?
I've heard a similar thing said amongst my family who are carribean. There are reasons why this type of thing is said, and is a case of 'if you know you know'

I had to travel for work for 2 or 3 nights at a time at least once a month from when mine were just turned 1 and just turned 2.

They were with their dad, I think I missed them more than they missed me.

No family to help so DH had them on his own 24/7 during that time. You do what you need to do to support your family.

On the other hand we didn't leave them with anyone else until they were about 9 & 10...

I'm not worried about whether DH is capable (he is), I was more worried about whether it could be hard on the children. It sounds like I mustn't worry, though.

If they're fairly young, they won't necessarily notice you're not there anyway, I was often home after bedtime a couple of days a week when mine were preschoolers and dc were so tired from nursery they didn't even question it!

I wouldn't have wanted to leave a little baby, I think I would have found that hard. But after 9mo no problem for me.

DH and I went away for 3 nights and left DS with grandparents when he was 20 months. I’ve just left DS (now 23 months) and DH for 3 nights to visit a friend. He was fine both times and I enjoyed myself, but 3 nights was enough.

Did one night when 4 and 7 and soon to do 3 nights when will be 4 and 8. (Also did several one night breaks with DH and DC with grandparents from when DC2 was 2).

Trust him 100% with them, never been a question of that but nothing has come up where I have had to/been invited to go alone and leave them with him. As much as I struggle to admit it, I am also very attached and really miss them when away for just one night!

Tip: if you are breastfeeding, do a couple of trial runs of expressing... I had a 1-day business trip when my son was 2 months old. About 14-15 hours door to door. The last 3 were painful...

Our daughter had been home about three months when one of us went away for a few nights, she was one when her, her brother and her papa moved to another country without me for about six weeks before I joined them, I’m not entirely convinced she noticed.

It's such a personal thing. I didn't want to leave our DS until he was older so about 4 years old.

With DC1 I went on a hen weekend when he was about 9 months, DC2 was 5 months old when I went on a spa weekend that DH had bought me for my birthday before she was born. I totally trusted DH when they were babies as much as when they got older. Both kids are young adults now and they both seem to have survived the experiences unscathed!

Yeah but you're not going to go on holiday without baby straight from the delivery ward!

My middle one after a year when they stopped breastfeeding they started to go to get dads overnight initially just one night then built up to two by age 2.

current baby just over 1 and is breastfeeding, dp just can’t settle him at night sometimes no matter what so I won’t be leaving him for the foreseeable which is frustrating as I had the opportunity to have a night away recently. I’m not sure I’d want to do two nights, I hate leaving him for my working day!

@ShowOfHands thanks for clarifying.
My daughter is 4 and I’ve never left her overnight with anyone other than my husband. I don’t plan to anytime soon either. I would worry about leaving her with someone else, but not her dad. I understand worrying, but not if you have a hands on dad who you trust.

I left ds1 for 3 nights I think when he was about 18 months- with his grandparents

DS2 was trickier. Can’t remember if I did leave him but I would have been ok to leave him with his dad if I’d had to. The trouble is we had two under two for a while and nighttimes were a two adult affair for a very long time

I’m properly leaving them with dh for several days for the first time next weekend (although they have been to grandparents lots). They’re 8 and 10 so he’ll cope.

Ooh I remember now why DS was so tricky. Even when weaned off the boob he flatly refused to take a bottle from anyone other than me for months. Most unhelpful.

DH is as capable a parent as me, so whenever it's needed. Dc1 was around 8 months, dc2 was a year (but covid impacted that!)

DC don't really care when either of us is away. It is harder on me than them, and DH is definitely happy to have a second set of hands when I'm back!

I didn't go away overnight until they were about 6 and 8 and I went with their Dad, so they had their lovely uncle with them. Had I needed to though - 3 months as I was breastfeeding until then.

I left dd1 at 5 months. Before she was even conceived I'd made a plan with my Gran to go to Oberammegau for the 2000 passion play (it's put on every 10 years). We'd booked and then I got pregnant first month but didn't want to let Gran down. So dh took a week off and MIL came for a week and I expressed like a crazy person and left enough milk for a week in the freezer (all while bf as well!). Back then it was weaning at 4 months so dd1 was on cereals for breakfast etc by that point.

I missed her like crazy, and had to "pump and dump" 4 times a day to preserve my supply. I don't regret it for a moment. I was gone 8 days. I had an amazing time with my Gran and heard a whole lot of stories about her life that even my mum didn't know. It was a ghastly Saga coach trip and I'd never do something like that again but it was something I'll always treasure, especially now Gran is gone.