I don’t want to breastfeed

[Pancakdayz]

3 weeks in and now I’ve started it I feel like I have to keep going

My newborn is cluster feeding and it’s hell I can’t put her down without her waking immediately and crying for me she’s just been Feeding non stop she’s not even going an hour sometimes

Sleep is awful I can’t remember the last time I had longer than 2 hours in a ro

i have a toddler and the guilt I’m feeling because I just sit feeding my newborn is relentless

I feel like I have to keep going I just am hating it. The only thing I like is the ease of it but I just don’t enjoy this. I want to be able to have someone else hold my newborn for me I feel drained I can’t have 1-2-1 time with my toddler it’s just so difficult

My only regret with breastfeeding was that I ever allowed myself to be persuaded to try it. It totally ruined my first few days with DD1. She couldn't latch on and lost far too much bodyweight.

I gave up four days in (it was four days too long in my opinion) and switched to formula. We never looked back. DD2 and DD3 were exclusively formula fed right from the word go when they were born.

You don't have to do this if you don't want to. You do what works for you and your baby and don't let anyone guilt trip you. I remember DH once telling an over zealous midwife to back off just after I had decided to formula feed DD1 and she tried to dissuade me (even looking to park DD on my breast for me, which I didn't want at all!!).

@sleepingbeau you do not have to soldier through.

Nobody has to soldier through.

My own sanity was important, and the few days when I tried breastfeeding (against my own better judgement) were a hell that I wanted no further part of.

Soldiering on was not for me.

You DO NOT have to do anything least of all “soldier through”.

Of course you're allowed to hate it, and of course you don't have to do it if you hate it.

All I would say is this shitty part won't be forever. It's just that - a shitty part. So don't make the decision based on just this bit, assuming breastfeeding will always be like this. Because it won't always be like this.

Bully for you Mrs Smug.

Its not best for you if it makes you feel like this , also many babies -my 3 included did perfectly fine on formula, breast wasn't for me either.
It's no ones buisness but yours do what you choose to do.
It's hard enough as it is having a newborn and a toddler.

Whats best for the child is not having a mother who is drained and at her wits end. She doesn’t want to do it anymore and that is what is best for her AND her child.

You need no-one else's permission to stop, only your own, although I know from personal experience how difficult that is.
My no1 DC was a underweight but long boy and he just fed constantly for hours at at time. With hindsight, I'm glad he was the first. My next two were a piece of cake in comparison, but he really did a number on my supply and was putting on a lb a week, for weeks on end. Almost killed me, but after 10 weeks, it suddenly eased and all was fine (helped by his sleeping improving too, as he wasn't desperately hungry all the time). DC1 is now a 6'4" slim and constantly hungry man (nothing much changes!) and I'm sure he would have been fine on bottles too.

Only you can make this decision, but I would advise keeping it to day by day and on the bad days, hour by hour. Much love OP. x

@sleepingbeau I would advise you to go back and read the thread. There is nothing wrong with saying this works best for you. There is nothing wrong with saying that for lots of women the pain does reduce. But you did not just say that. Your comment did come across as smug, but also as uncaring and not listening to the OP whether you realise it or not.

Gave up BF my two DD's after a couple of weeks with each. Couldn't cope with the pain and struggle. It was absolute bliss with both when I switched to FF.

Oh I remember this feeling well, I was where you are now 11 months ago and it’s such hard work.

i really wanted to breastfeed so gave myself little milestones to hit, and it got easier with each milestone reached. I also introduced an evening bottle of formula early on that my partner fed our DC, which gave a decent sized break. I also expressed either in the morning or at night, amounts were similar to what you are getting now, never reaching more than 6oz in one go (and that was a rarity).

i think what I am trying to say is if you want to continue but are struggling, then give yourself milestones and additional options. It may help the cluster feeding become more bearable.

But if you want to stop, then do it, my DC had fully weaned by 9 months, been on bottles since then and I feel fine about it.

be kind to yourself 😊

Oh OP, I really hate how women are made to feel that they have to punish themselves like this. If you want to stop, please just stop. Breastfeeding absolutely ruined my early days with my baby. Baby just would not latch from the start (despite a midwife grabbing me breast in frustration and trying to shove my nipple in my tiny baby's mouth!). I went home and continued to try for days and days, crying in pain and my baby screaming. My baby was then readmitted back into hospital on day 5 because he was very underweight and dehydrated. I felt instant relief when I was advised to give him some formula. I wanted to stop then but the midwives still continued to pressure so I spent another six weeks trying and trying to get it right, until a very kind health visitor told me it was OK to stop. I wish I could go back in time and give myself the confidence to stop in those early days and enjoy those precious moments with my baby. Breastfeeding may have a number of benefits but it is not always what is best for mother and baby.

@sleepingbeau it gets better for most but not all women.

@sleepingbeau and for some women breastfeeding with pain can lead to some women having a poor bond.

You seem to see it as a badge of honour.

Oh fuck off