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Parenting

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Original poster

Why do people feel it's acceptable to talk shit about my kids

92 replies

milesmoms · 04/02/2024 08:38

Seriously this.

I'm sick of getting comments about how my kids are WILD or too much to cope with or mental!

Why do people think it's acceptable to comment on my kids behaviour especially when they don't know them!?

I've had 2 comments this week from people who never spend any time with my children ?

My kids are 2 and 4 so of course they are not easy just like any kid their age!

I really don't get where the comments are coming from?

Next time I get one I've decided to defend my children instead of just getting upset about it.

Does anyone else experience this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BCBird · 04/02/2024 08:41

Is their behaviour negatively impacting on others or are your actions perceived as not dealing with their behaviour when affecting others? If so people may feel the need to comment

Wolfpa · 04/02/2024 08:45

I think you are going to have to give some context behind the comments.

If a complete stranger is coming up to you saying they are wild this would be unusual and your children’s behaviour must have affected them enough to have to say something.

if it is said while they are pretending to be lions it’s just descriptive.

if said from a distant friend/ relative they may need to mind their own business.

if said by a close friend/ relative they may be saying it out of concern for you.

context is everything.

notknowledgeable · 04/02/2024 08:46

we need some context, most 2 and 4 year olds do not get comments like that, so no.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families

sorrynotathome · 04/02/2024 08:48

No, no-one ever made comments to me about my children’s bad behaviour.

Bladwdoda · 04/02/2024 08:48

I had shitty comments from my brother when we went on holiday to eachother. He couldn’t deal with their perfectly normal behaviour, but then he left before his own child was born and never did any actual parenting of his own child. So I don’t honk he realises what is normal for a child. He thinks they’ll just sit quietly. took self control not to mention his complete lack of parenting when he made shitty comments.

HOWEVER obviously if your childre are like smashing up other peoples homes or swearing or hurting others, then people will probably comment. I agree with others that the wider context is probably needed. Who is commenting on your kids and where/why?

cansu · 04/02/2024 08:48

I imagine your children are allowed to behave badly and are not checked when they do. Most people understand small children are noisy and boisterous but their parents are meant to stop them when they are annoying others.

Flatpackedboxes · 04/02/2024 08:49

Usually people only make comments like that when behaviour is bad abd the parents do fuck all to manage it.

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 04/02/2024 08:49

Who and why ?
My relative proudly states their child is 'feral' and thinks its funny they "don't share' and just take what they want from others as it shows they're leading the tribe...
Annoying but somewhat understandable re child development at 2, less so at 4 plus!

saraclara · 04/02/2024 08:53

Why do people think it's acceptable to comment on my kids behaviour especially when they don't know them!?

Because the kids behaviour is affecting them? No-one ever said that to me about my own children, or now when I provide childcare to my grandchildren of around that age.

Instead of being furious that it was said, maybe start thinking about why they felt the need to say it?

AndThatWasNY · 04/02/2024 08:53

My kids are all ND and as young kids were a fucking nightmare 😁.
People were right to point out that they were difficult. They were!
Do you try and improve their behaviour? That was the key for comments.

Meadowy · 04/02/2024 09:03

No, this isn’t normal. Lots of kids are perfectly easy- many are delightful. People only say things like this when they are fed up - they are trying to hint that you need to manage your kids better without actually saying so. And before you ask why they don’t just tell you - your op gives the answer.

Overthebow · 04/02/2024 09:11

I’ve got a 3 year old and she’s definitely not an easy toddler but we’ve never had comments on her behaviour. I take her out of wherever we are if her behaviour gets too bad, but she does know how she should behave in public and is never just let her run around in a cafe or shop so she’s never completely feral. How do you manage your DC when out?

DreadPirateRobots · 04/02/2024 09:14

My kids are physical and high-energy and hard work, and as toddlers they were as stroppy as anything, but nobody ever said anything like the above to me. It sounds like people think you aren't managing their behaviour.

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/02/2024 09:14

If it keeps happening then ponder why that is rather than assuming everyone else is wrong.

SKG231 · 04/02/2024 09:21

Because kids can be annoying as hell and parents are usually blind to this because it’s their child and they think they’re the best thing to ever happen to this planet.

Queijo · 04/02/2024 09:26

I’ve only ever been complimented on DD’s behaviour - not to be smug, she’s an angel everywhere except when it’s just me and her at home 😅

Definitely need some context here.

theduchessofspork · 04/02/2024 09:27

What’s the context?

Wolfiefan · 04/02/2024 09:31

If lots of people are describing your children as wild and mental then I don’t think they’re talking shit. I think there’s a strong chance they could be saying the truth.

fr4zzledmum · 04/02/2024 09:32

Tbh, I'd say they were talking shit about your parenting and not your children.

Context needed.

Kittylala · 04/02/2024 09:35

I think you are defensive because deep down you know they are, but of course you love them and it's only natural you will get defensive.

cariadlet · 04/02/2024 09:47

I never experienced it either. Judging from the number of replies saying the same thing, I'd guess your children's behaviour isn't within the normal realms for a 2 and a 4 year old.

Many children that age are lively and energetic without being described as wild.

TeaKitten · 04/02/2024 09:55

You’ve not given enough context for proper replies OP. But no it’s not normal to be so wild and uncontrollable that lots of people comment on it. Of course all kids are wild at times, but what you’ve described isn’t the norm.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/02/2024 10:14

Well it depends what the comments are. I get lots of comments about having my hands full with those two etc, people can see they're spirited four year olds. Nursery teachers know they're generally well behaved but high energy so last day of term is always hahah have a fun week. I wouldn't take umbridge with that.

Some strangers walking up and saying well that looks like a pair of shitty kids who are rude and smelly, yeah I'd defend them.

InkySplott · 04/02/2024 10:17

I was once in a furniture shop and two kids were in there running riot jumping on the beds etc . Parents said nothing . I've seen kids in McDonald's screaming shouting and throwing chips at each other in front of their parents who said nothing . Is this what your kids are like O/P ?

PaperDoIIs · 04/02/2024 10:17

It depends who these people are.

Once in a while,one of comments from random strangers...meh, most kids can seem or be wild in certain circumstances.

However, if the comments are quite frequent and from people that don't just see a short snapshot, then they might be onto something.

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