Presents for friends kids

[Throwaway202]

Backstory: So there are 3 of us in a friend group, Me, Friend 1 (F1) and Friend 2 (F2). Myself and F1 have 1 kid each, both are nearly 13 months while F2 has 2 kids (nearly 12months and 3yrs)

We only started hanging out this year and have just reached our first Christmas as a friend group. Christmas was fine as we all bought each other’s kids something small and it was quite equal.

The issue now lies with birthdays. My kid and F1s kid had their birthdays first. F1 & F2 spent approx £20 each on presents for mine and F2 & myself did the same for F1s kid.

My question lies around F2s kids. I think we should spend £20 on each kid, their birthdays are about 2 months apart. But F1 said it should be £10 each so £20 in total. We can both afford to spend the extra £20 but I know if I do 2 gifts of £20 each F1 will get annoyed with me.

What is the usual protocol for this type of thing?

I have a friend group of 8, we have between 1 and 3 kids each. In total we have 19 kids aged between 26 and 2. We spend roughly the same on each child for birthdays (about £10) except for special birthdays (when my oldest was 21 they had a collection and got her one big present).

If you can afford it do it? Why are you allowing her to tell you what to do? There are no rules or protocols, do what you want to do and what you feel is right.

If you can afford do what you want to. Don’t allow someone else to make you do something you don’t want to. Tell her before you gift, don’t make a big thing of it, but just stand your ground. No friend should be annoyed at you for this.