Am I In the wrong for feeling this way? Step child and our child

[mummy21blueeyed]

Hi just a quick one,

Me and my partner have a two year old together and he has a son from previous relationship who is 11.

We don't live together properly although prior his home was our home and we'd all be there. Since May however we rarely stayed as he worked away ALOT etc. i also now live closer to my mum and my work so it works as I've only recently got a car again.

Before he used to try and ask us to stay out on Fridays as he wanted a boys night.

However my question is, is this okay? Am I over reacting.

I hate the feeling of being unwanted while he's got his son. I worry about our child who screams everytime we pull away. She will soon understand we are allowed to stay when brother isn't there but when he is were not allowed.

Usually we spend around 4 hours together on a Saturday but yesterday they were to busy as had plans which might be why I feel so hurt and down.

He says he misses us but I don't believe him as it's his own fault that we're not there as a family. I don't know how he can say he misses us when he does this to us. Yeah he has his son eow but it's the way life works when you move on and have other children you surely don't push the other child out just because you don't see the oldest enough. I have friends who have more than one kid they don't kick the other out essentially because of this.

Not that it matters but his son still sits in the living room on his play station etc they have the tv on the coffee table pulled right up to the sofa which wouldn't happen if our child was there etc I just feel like we get in the way and obviously my child would wake earlier than the 11 year old which means noise levels are higher.

Is there anyone else in this situation? I have no money so I couldn't go and keep us busy I'm just about surviving till the end of the month. I just want us to be a family.

I just dread it when our child is old enough to see what her dad is doing and I will be making sure I'm
Honest but leaving it to him to answer and figure out.

I look forward to every other week for this reason i feel we need our time with him so much.

OMG @mummy21blueeyed what an update!

Well at least you know where you and your child stand now, and you've taken the right steps to ensure a better future for you both.

You can go to CMS and get your ex to pay maintenance.

Very good luck to you! Well done.

And I hope you sort out somewhere to live soon.

@TheShellBeach

i have told him I will be taking him to CMS and also withholding contact until he comes up with a structured consistent plan for our child. I also have told him I will never come back into this life.

so I’m not, My daughter adores him like adores him and she proper gets so excited and happy to be around him and this hurts that I’m doing this but it’s for her in the long run. She will end up more hurt and more in pain and she will see her dad for what he is and I don’t need that. I don’t want her asking the ahh questions because the answers he would give Will hurt. It’s just not on. He won’t change so I’m not waiting around.