Deflated after 9month hv review

[Mummio92]

Feeling a bit upset after my 9mo’s review with the HV today for a few reasons:

• told he needs a GP check and HV follow up because his head measurement has jumped up 2+ centiles since birth
• length today put him in 2nd centile which makes me worry about his growth as we are average height parents
• need a call back check in a couple of months as he isn’t yet showing signs of moving (no crawling or pulling up etc) at all

Feel like there’s always something with my baby, he had viral meningitis right after birth, has had so many colds and bugs, teethes really badly, is under urology for a problem (since birth) that will require surgery in the next 12 months.

I love him with every bit of me, but also sometimes feel so unlucky that it never seems smooth for us and that I end up having to be in a constant state of worry.

Not sure what I’m looking for but maybe somebody has faced some of these difficulties and has advice to share.

I am so sorry you have had a difficult 9 months!
I have a 9 month old too and he was referred to the GP due to the size of his head when he was 6months(although it looked completely normal tbh). The GP told us that the HV have to refer if it's grown quicker/more than expected and it's rarely anything to worry about.
The HV are just doing their job to make sure nothing is missed but it doesn't stop us from worrying as parents.
My 9 month old doesn't move either. I too was worried about this. He would just rather be cuddled and carried everywhere! I can't put him on the floor for more than 10 minutes without him wanting to be picked up and carried around!
I spoke to the HV about this last week and she said not to worry. They all hit their Physical milestones at some point and it hugely varies from baby to baby.
It's so hard not to worry though. I worried constantly with my eldest (still do and they are 10) and I told myself I wouldn't be the same with my second. I still worry all the time. I think it's normal, I just have to keep reminding myself that they are all just so different and a difficult time is just a phase (which is quickly followed by another difficult phase).
Go easy on yourself and try to enjoy your time with your baby. It goes way too quickly!

My baby didn't get a head measurement at birth so I'm not sure how important that is, they won't even be able to check on mine!

All babies develop at different rates. It's difficult but try not to worry. This check is meant to take place between 9 and 12 months, most likely your baby will be moving just fine in 3 months and if the check was taking place at 12 months instead of 9 the HV wouldn't have any concerns.

Some of my friends had this with their head size and had to go back.

Imo babies just grow differently and not always in proportion.

9 months is a really tricky time. They’re no longer tiny tiny babies, they’re on the cusp of their most significant milestones and I feel like we just hold our breath waiting for them to happen! How is he generally? Is he happy, babbling? 💐

Thank you for your replies!

It’s frustrating because I do truly think the head thing is nothing but then a little voice goes ‘but what if…’, wish I had a bit more chill.

In a good spell, he’s the happiest baby I’ve come across- smiley, laughs at everything, babbles away. When he’s teething (which feels constant now), he’s incredibly fussy and clingy, seems like he suffers a lot worse than some babies with it.

You poor thing 💐please don't worry! Health visitors are full of shit sometimes. I had my daughter's 10 month review just before Christmas and the amount of negativity coming from the woman was awful! If I had been a first time mum I would have come out of that meeting in tears.

As long as they're happy and healthy (hopefully your sons health with improve with the surgery and his immune system maturing a bit) the rest comes in their own time. My daughter seems to be skipping crawling almost completely and is more interested in trying to walk less than a month after her review happened

I don't recall them measuring my 2nds head at her appointment so can't comment.

However the HV did say it was a bit early for the appointment (10 months) and that they would call back at 12 months to see how she was getting on as she was behind. 12 month was absolutely fine doing all the things she wasn't at 10 months.

Also some kids are just smaller. Me and Partner aren't small but 1st born has dropped to 9th centile for height.

Try not to worry. I'm sure it's fine.

Also I was recommended anbesol liquid for teething and it works really well for my daughter, just in case it's something you've not tried yet

My son is the same age and just like this. A different baby when he is rested and well. If he has one of his (many) colds and has been up all night he’s irritable and hardly engages with you.

Really appreciate all the thoughtful replies, will do my best not to worry. I’m of an anxious disposition unfortunately.

Thanks TeddyBeans, we have used anbesol and in combo with neurofen seems the best of the bunch for tackling teething pain (when lo will let me anywhere near his gums that is)

@Naptrappedmummy Sorry to hear that you have had a similar experience with all the bugs, though it’s reassuring to hear we’re not alone. I always say I have a baby of two halves because he’s so different when ill/ teething- which is understandable but does seem more extreme for him than all the other babies I know.
Hopefully it means they’ll have great immune systems for the time they go to school!

My HV, who didn't like me as I coslept which she didn't agree with (I asked for ideas on how to get my baby to sleep in her own cot when she was newborn and screamed blue murder every time I put her down and was told 'if you have to stay up all night holding her then you'll just have to do that - I had two other children to get up for school, I'd have been dead on my feet!) scheduled my baby's 9-12 month review when she was 9 months and a day and had been nearly 4 weeks early. I am almost certain she didn't it on purpose as surely it would make sense to wait for them to be as old as possible to give them more time to meet the milestones.

The baby 'failed' as she wasn't crawling or standing and she wasn't saying any words. I was told they'd make another appointment in 3 months but by that time, when they contacted me, she was crawling and walking holding my hand and was babbling, although no actual words, but those came soon enough afterwards. So I refused the follow up visit and have had no concerns over her development ever since.

As far as I recall her length and head measurement weren't checked at the review.

But also HVs had concerns about her weight gain until she got to be about a year as she was a dinky little thing. I had concerns myself but she was developing fine so looking back I wish I hadn't worried. For whatever reason she was just a little baby, then got to about 18 months and suddenly grew tremendously and is probably on about the 90th centile for height and weight I'd imagine now at age 6!

So I really wouldn't worry too much about your baby at that age.

My son didn't crawl until nearly 1 and failed most gross motor skills at 9 month assessment. He's now nearly walking and has caught up. Don't worry.

Please do not forget that your child is the same child as he was before the HV walked in the door!

For DD and now DS we get a HV visit at 2 weeks, 6 weeks and then not again until 12 months and never have they measured either of their head circumferences so that makes me think it can't be that much of a big deal if it's never checked in the county I'm in (all other mums I know around here have had the same experience) so try not to worry too much (easier said than done I know) because it can't be too big a thing if here it's never checked.

Well... neither of my two children had their heads measured at any point, and neither of them have had 9 month reviews. They just do 12 month ones in our trust. My youngest is nearly 9 months and I've not heard a peep from a health visitor for her since she was 6 weeks old!

That's not to say that the HV and GP checking up on these things isn't important because it definitely is better to be safe than sorry, but I just wouldn't worry yourself unduly.

@Nix99 I wonder if we’re in the same trust area as it seems we’ve had the same experience!

Thank you, that’s interesting to hear that several of you haven’t had head measurements taken and also that lots of yours babies weren’t moving until closer to 12mo.
I think I must happen to be around a lot of early movers as the other same age babies we hang out with have been on the go for months now.

I know all of this will fade into insignificance in a few months so will try to keep calm

I spoke to the HV about this last week and she said not to worry. They all hit their Physical milestones at some point and it hugely varies from baby to baby.I spoke to the HV about this last week and she said not to worry. They all hit their Physical milestones at some point and it hugely varies from baby to baby.

This is so unhelpful, they don't all hit their milestones " at some point" though do they ? This false reassurence helps absolutely no one. The cut offs are there are a reason, so that children who may need additional help get it in a timely fashion.

I think the head circumference thing is really common. One of mine moved two percentiles between HV checks but had seen a pediatrician in between so didn't have to be referred. The HV at the second check made a comment about having had to refer a lot of babies for that so I think it must happen a lot.

I think with babies they are referred for things that 90% of the time or even more aren't a symptom of a problem to make sure they catch that 10% where it is a symptom of something wrong. DD1 had to be checked for spina bifida as a newborn and for a heart condition at around 16 months. She doesn't have either, she just happened to have things that could have been symptoms of those.

I was also sent to GP for head circumference for my DD at the 9-12mo check. They also said that they wanted her checked as she's not very tall but the GP looked at me (all 4ft 8in) and decided that as she's in proportion there was no need to put her through loads of tests 😂

Head circumference is really difficult to measure accurately because just placing the tape slightly higher or lower on the head, or going round the head slightly crooked is going to give really quite different results.

Haven't read the whole thread so I'm sorry if I'm repeating anything! You say both parents average now - but has this always been the case? My DH was apparently small growing up. Same with my brother. Both shot up when they went through puberty. I'm expecting the same to happen to my 2 year old, who is also short for his age (we are pretty average heights too)

@110APiccadilly That’s very true, it’s certainly better safe than sorry with these things and there’s nothing else indicative of a problem with his head/brain so I’m sure nothing will come of it

@Gabby10 seems like these things come up quite frequently then. Unfortunately my boy’s measurements make him well out of proportion in terms of head vs length (90+ vs 2nd%) but honestly looking at him, you can see his head is on the bigger side but not to a point of looking odd in anyway.

@deplorabelle this is a good point and worth noting though I think slightly less applicable to us as baby’s head was 50th % at birth (~35cm), 75th by 8 weeks (40 something cm) and now 90+% (48cm) so there’s no denying the noticeable change

@BluJanuary Yes I’ve read that size in the first year or two is very much dependent on birth size (unfortunately I’m not sure how long he measured at birth for comparison now), and that only later does puberty and genetics take over so he may well have a spurt later on. Probably just got in my own head a bit with having all this things come up in the space of a 15 minute check up!

@Neurodiversitydoctor I guess the previous poster is referring to the vast majority of babies who do go on to reach milestones (which is therefore reassuring), but I understand your point that this isn’t true for a small minority & is important to keep an eye on.

Fortunately I’m confident that my boy will do so in time, as he’s been able to sit unaided for several months and can bear weight in standing relatively well, just doesn’t move yet / go on hands and knees or pull to standing.