4 year old needs glasses- why do I feel so upset

[Honeybeebuzz]

We decided to bring our 4 year old DS to get his eyes tested, we had no concerns just thought it would be good to check and fully expected to be told his eyes were fine. They have said he is very long sighted in one eye and will definitely need glasses at least for a few years to correct this. I feel really upset about this, my biggest worry is other children picking on him as he is already the youngest in the class and can be shy. I feel really tearful. Has anyone had this experience with their child at this age? Did you find othe children to be unkind about it?

Also did anyone's four year old end up not needing glasses after a few years or did they always need glasses?

My six year old has just been given glasses. His sight is fine but he has astigmatism which is why he was blinking and straining a lot once home from school. I was so upset but he was excited! He couldn't wait to get his glasses and go into school wearing them. There is a lot less stigma nowadays. In fact, there are three in his class!

My dd started wearing glasses for short sightedness at 4, she never ever had an issue wit other kids but when she was at high school an actual teacher called her “specky”. He had his arse handed to him sharpish

He could be shy because his vision has been affected. Having better vision may be the making of him. Harry Potter has done much for the glasses front.

Yes they absolutely can grow out if it

Long sightedness is when the eye is too short in comparison with the strength of the lens in their eye, as they grow this can self correct

I'm a teacher. Nobody gets slagged for wearing glasses! There might be a few questions day 1, as there would be if someone changed their hair style for example. Side note, I think glasses on children are absolutely adorable!

That's mental that a teacher would say that, glad he was sorted!

Yes I keep tying to remind myself it's good it was caught and it can hopefully help him but I think as a parent you just worry. DH isn't concerned and thinks I'm being ridiculous. He doesn't know he'll need glasses yet as he'll need another appt to check exact prescription so I'll just try to be as positive as possible for him, luckily his uncles partner, who he idolises, wears glasses so I'm hoping it'll be a positive thing for him

Dc1 and 2 have had glasses. No comments from any other children ever other than when they were new and it was comments in passing like "I didn't know you wore glasses" Dc1 only had them 1 or 2 years and then didn't need them. The prescription was mild though.

A mum at the school gates once told me she was devastated her daughter needed glasses as it would ruin her beautiful face- she was saying that to my face and i was wearing glasses!

Totally fine to feel what you feel but very unlikely it will cause any issues. My kids have both worn glasses from young childhood and choose to now as older teens despite the option of contacts being available.

I felt the same when DD was prescribed at a similar age. Neither me or DH wear glasses so it was all new and I was worried about similar things to you. I needn't have, she's been totally fine, no issues at all with other children (she's also shy).

It's so different from when we were at school - more children wear them and there's so much choice in frames, she used to love it when her prescription changed and she could choose a new pair (I remember her loving her Minions ones!) Her and her two best friends now all wear glasses (they're in their teens now) and all look cool.

Two of mine (aged 10 & 11 now) were prescribed glasses when they were younger, 5&6. The optician at the time did say they would likely grow out of it as they got taller and sure enough they did. Both have 20/20 vision now with no need for glasses.

Not read full thread. All of mine had glasses (2 of them at 2 years old as very very long sighted, and 1 of them at 6, moderately long-sighted). Never any problems with children being mean; and glasses have changed a lot over the last few decades, so there are lots of ‘themed’ glasses with logos and characters etc that work really well.
Apparently, eyesight can improve by about age 7, so it might be that it is just for a few years. But if it is more long term then they can always switch to contact lenses for secondary school (my eldest two are both on contact lenses, and really like them.
Well done for getting their eyes checked - you have definitely done them a favour, it can help with behaviour at school (my eldest was becoming difficult in class in year 1, and it was because he couldn’t see properly), and can improve eye health. Good luck with it all - and if you feel upset by it, don’t let your child know how you feel!

I felt the same way, but I soon got over it because my DS looked so sweet in his glasses. I'm sure you'll end up feeling the same.

So many children have glasses now, so it's not unusual. Nobody teased my DS about it. His younger brother was very envious and still remembers how disappointed he was not to have his own glasses!

My dd has had glasses since she was 18 months old and is now 20 and still wears them. She never really got comments. Her long sight is such that she will always need glasses or contact lenses although shes never shown interest in contacts

Do you have a copy of the prescription? Not all children will grow out of long sight if it is a high prescription.

DD got glasses at 5 and I was a little upset but no need, it's really not an issue in schools nowadays. She is short sighted so her sight has worsened but long sightedness can be correct with glasses for some. she's 17 now and wears lenses.

@Honeybeebuzz Are they referring him elsewhere for a proper eye test with the dilating drops? Why could they not do the full test at the time?

Getting teased for wearing glasses doesn't happen so often nowadays

Glasses are much cooler these days and a much higher percentage of the kids wear them so they aren’t an unusual thing like they were in the 80s and 90s.

DS got them at 5 for boardwork and reading, we’ve had no issues with them at school. None of the kids have commented on them and in his latest check op the optician thought this might be his last year of having to wear them

Ime children are very unaware of others until about 8-9 which is when the noticing of 'uncool' differences starts getting mentioned. So I wouldn't worry as it'll either be sorted by then or his friends will be so used to him in glasses they won't see them. Anyway you can get v cool Spiderman glasses now, not like the awful NHS ones we had in the 80s.

I had glasses from a very young age, maybe 6 rather than 4. I never had any issues at school and would be oblivious I was wearing them most of the time. I did go through a lot of the NHS provided glasses, just because I was so young and very active and they would sometimes fly off when I was energetically playing with friends etc.

I got contact lenses at 15 and then suddenly got a huge amount of interest from boys. So was actually glad I'd had glasses and knew who my real friends were!

I was diagnosed with double vision at the age of 9 and wasn't allowed to have prism lenses in my glasses until I was 21 as they cause the eyes to become reliant and you slowly need stronger and stronger prescriptions. A year after I finished my degrees I technically didn't need the prisms at all. In practice I need them on and off. I can go months without needing them but then slowly I get eye strain again so I wear them for a couple of weeks and it goes away. Now as long as I wear my glasses a few times a month I don't get any eye strain. This is with being in an IT heavy job just with less hours than my degrees!

I wish so much they had given me prisms at 9!

I think 4 year olds will be oblivious and just completely accept your DS as he is.

Mine started wearing glasses at 3 (and has done ever since). That was over 25 years ago. There were some very cool and funky ones back then, I imagine it's the same now. I've worn glasses for as long as I can remember (I have the vision of a mole without them), so it didn't bother me or DD when she was prescribed hers.

ETA DD was never teased for wearing glasses.

God no, nothing to be upset over! My young dc wears them and he looks gorgeous in them! I think kids in glasses are very cute!
They soon get used to them, and the other kids at school may ask a question or two at first but don’t make a big deal of it, in my experience anyway.
The glasses for kids these days are really lovely, not like the big thick rimmed ones they had in the 90s! It’s nothing to be upset over. My dcs optician said to me that kids that wear for farsighted as young dc usually then take longer to get to the point of needed them for nearsighted, so very likely that in a few years your dc will no longer need them and then be free from glasses for many years to come. It really is no big deal.
Also my dc was one of the first to get glasses in his class but since then two others now wear them, and you will likely find the same with your DCs friends. Glasses at that age are quite common now. Your dc will look adorable!

DD10 wore glasses from age 7 till 9.
Please do let your DS choose his own frames.
My DD was very proud of her bright red glasses.