4 year old needs glasses- why do I feel so upset

[Honeybeebuzz]

We decided to bring our 4 year old DS to get his eyes tested, we had no concerns just thought it would be good to check and fully expected to be told his eyes were fine. They have said he is very long sighted in one eye and will definitely need glasses at least for a few years to correct this. I feel really upset about this, my biggest worry is other children picking on him as he is already the youngest in the class and can be shy. I feel really tearful. Has anyone had this experience with their child at this age? Did you find othe children to be unkind about it?

Ds wears glasses, he's 5 and has had them since the age of 4. He looks so bare to me without them now. They suit him so well. I e always said I'll pay whatever for the frames he wants.. they're a huge part of him and on him s face so I feel it's important the reflect him as a person including as he grows and his interests change.
He's been in school 1 term and one child has ripped them from his face and hidden them. I was heartbroken but it turns out the whole class helped him find them and surrounded him with friendship that day. On the walk home ds pointed out the child to me and then at 5 years old addressed the child's parent saying "your child did this today which is so unkind and not a nice way to treat people" and oh my goodness the child's parent gave the child In question a full bollocking in the street.
I was so proud of ds for standing up for himself and so eloquently speaking to the parent.
We've had no other issues

Not personal experience but my DD’s best friend has worn them since about age 4 and had a patch for a while. DD loved her friend’s glasses so much she asked for glasses for her 5th bday. She got a pair of clear lenses and loves wearing them with her bestie! I’ve never known her friend to have anything but positive reactions to her glasses.

Children don't usually tease because of glasses. When my granddaughter had to wear them aged 6, her teacher made a big fuss of her, telling her how lovely she looked in them. It was never an issue.

DD started wearing glasses at 2. She is now 5.

As most children don't start wearing glasses until about 9, people comment that they make her look cute.

The main issue I've observed is children breaking them.

As DD now has expensive lenses she refuses to wear them if she thinks there is a risk of breaking them. Her school is very good on this front as well.

They are doing a repeat test with the dilating drops in a few weeks, i think they didn't have time today as there was an appointment after him. She did say she will refer him to opthalmology as well to look at the eye muscles but she was very positive and said it was likely the glasses will correct the long sightedness and he will not need to continue wearing them

She couldn't get an exact prescription she estimated plus 5? I think though hard to remember as it was a lot of information, she said she'll repeat it with drops to get it more exact. Im sure once he's wearing glasses it won't be a big deal to anyone if he has to wear them for a few years or longer or switch to contacts

My eldest was 4 when he got his. He took to them well and has never had anyone be unkind about him wearing them (he's almost 7 now). There are now 4 in his class with glasses. He wears them all the time and there has been no mention of it stopping.

My 3yo just got his this week too.

I was the only child in my entire primary school to wear glasses and it was such a positive experience. Other children were intrigued and thought they were so cool, so it didn't even occur to me that there could be a negative reaction!

It's great it's been picked up nice and early. For a few years my eye sight issues weren't caught and I got behind with school. When I got glasses I suddenly realised everyone else could actually see the overhead projector and blackboard. Amazing!

My dd was under orthoptist care at the local hospital until she was age 7/8ish (from 18 months old) and then we were discharged to use a local optician. If it is a high long sighted prescription then they don't always grow out of it. My dds prescription has reduced a little but not enough to stop needing glasses.

My daughter got them at 3 (just turned 3) I was told she would need them until she was around 7 or 8 , however she went for a check up around 18mths later and her eyes were all fixed and she no longer needed them.
She was upset as I had told her she could pick out a new pair and she loved wearing them!
I was a little sad about it too tbh as she looked so cute in them!

None of the DC in her class or any clubs said anything negative about them at all.

I wouldn't worry or be upset about it, they will help him in the long run and you'll all be used to them very quickly.

I wore glasses at 4 and remember the teasing at school. But my kids assure me that's totally not a thing these days. I was surprised but it seems to be true.

And yes, the vision may correct.

At +5 he will likely need them more longer term. My dd had a squint and that's how we picked up she needed glasses. The long sight contributed to the squint. She also wore a patch for a while.

She's something like +3 and +5 and wears her glasses all the time

My DS wore glasses from about 6 - no bullying at all . I would honestly not to worry . DS was definitely a bit quirky but it’s been fine - I was concerned too

Ps DS2 was long sighted but his eye sight corrected .

My adult children had glasses (and wear contacts sometimes now) and have had no grief. Lots of characters like Harry Potter wear glasses. They are much more stylish than the glasses from my childhood (80s)

Get a second opinion. If you went to that high street retailer (as in you should have gone to...), I've heard several say they got a wrong prescription.

I didn't get teased at school, but I remember a colleague saying to me unprompted at work 'I didn't know you wore spex Duch, they don't suit you'

One of my Reception class got glasses this term. We made such big deal about how exciting it was and the children couldn’t wait to see her new glasses! None of the children make fun of her. I had a boy in my class last year too who wore glasses and no one cared at all! It was never mentioned at all.

I'm in my late 50s. I remember my dsis being very self-conscious about her NHS glasses way back in the 70s. She did have some kids take the piss out of her.

Things have changed so much since then.

I've been teaching for 30 years and must have talked to hundreds of children about unkind behaviour. Not once has it been for unkind comments made to or about children who wear glasses. It just doesn't seem to be on their radar these days that wearing glasses could be a reason or an excuse to bully a child.

We actually went to a boots opticians, she seems very competent and I'm not sure where else we could take him? Do you mean a private optimitrist? Neither my husband or I wear glasses so this is all new to us

Just remembered. When my dd was little, she tried faking failure at an eye exam because she was desperate to wear glasses like one of her friends.
Things really have changed.

I had to wear glasses from the age of 4 and I remember being made fun of by a few kids in primary school but even then it wasn't really a thing anymore and it didn't affect me much. Now my 6 year old is nagging me that he wants to wear glasses like one of his classmates even though he doesn't need to, so I think the attitudes are much different.

Thank you, this seems the general consensus luckily, think it's just a shock to me and worry about it affecting DS negatively, especially being the youngest. I had planned to defer him starting but he was so excited for school so I didn't and now I'm worried school life may have just gotten a bit harder for him

Boots should be fine.
I meant SpecS*s, when I last went I don't think I saw an optician but someone with a sort of assistant qualification, I went elsewhere.
Independent ones IMO are better.

My son was diagnosed with long sightedness and a squint at the age of two - he's now 6 and although the squint has mostly corrected, he will always need glasses. Aside from the fact he looks adorable, it's so much more common to see children with glasses nowadays as sight issues are picked up much earlier in children. And he gets to pick his own, very cool frames. As soon as he had his I realised how many other kids were wearing some! It doesn't have the stigma that it used to.

We use an independent optician that's local to use. Neither dh or I wore glasses when dd got diagnosed with a squint and long sight. Drops are usually given as standard for child eye tests