4 year old needs glasses- why do I feel so upset

[Honeybeebuzz]

We decided to bring our 4 year old DS to get his eyes tested, we had no concerns just thought it would be good to check and fully expected to be told his eyes were fine. They have said he is very long sighted in one eye and will definitely need glasses at least for a few years to correct this. I feel really upset about this, my biggest worry is other children picking on him as he is already the youngest in the class and can be shy. I feel really tearful. Has anyone had this experience with their child at this age? Did you find othe children to be unkind about it?

he will not need to continue wearing them

Stop acting like needing glasses is so awful! Spectacles are cool ... so are braces. My DD sported both when she was 11!

Thanks for the advice hadn't heard that before, we do usually spend a good bit of time outside with the dog and walking to and from school but will try to increase this a bit more now

Oh fgs OP. I have worn (including the awful style of the 90s) glasses since I was about 3 and had a strabismus correction in my teens. In most other countries I would be considered legally blind and I have increased risk of detached retinas.

I live every day grateful for the sight that I do have, and any teasing I did have just taught me very quick lessons about who was worth bothering with in life.

If you had a girl, the only thing I would say is to educate your daughter on the glasses tropes around beauty because they are stupid and pervasive. For men it makes literally no difference.

For all the things that could be wrong with your son, this is so unbelievably minor.

I had glasses at 1! Eye op on 1st birthday! For gods sake get a grip - you want your child to see well right???!!!!

Yep

Also stop acting like glasses are the most awful thing to happen to a person… I didn’t think people like that still existed

It has been along time since our son was 4 years old but a sight issue was picked up at his pre-school check and we were told that he needed glasses. Our main concern was that he would not keep them on. Got his glasses, he put them on and gave a huge sigh and a smile. He has astigmatism, is now 31 and obviously still has to wear them. His lenses had to be very thick so we paid the extra to have them made thinner when he was little and looking back he looked very cute and like the Milky Bar kid. He was never bullied but we did spend a lot of time getting them repaired. Please do not worry 🙂

Mine started wearing glasses at about that age. I was the same as you, didn't expect it, especially with my first. It changes their appearance and initially you think they look cuter without glasses but then you get used to it, glasses suit them and they look funny without them.

Although glasses aren't they are very common. So much so that sometimes children without glasses want them to look like their friends!

I don't think anyone teases people for wearing glasses now. Certainly mine never get teased and it's just a non-issue.

It is another chore getting their eyes tested and in the case of 2 boisterous boys they were always breaking them. Its just another fact of life like going to the dentist.

My son was 3 when he had to wear glasses after months of eye patches. He has Ptosis too. He has a complicated prescription so different lenses for each eye. He was told if he wears his glasses religiously he'd be able to get rid of them by 16. Has he heeded this advice? No. Will he wear them? No. He's now 12 and it's a daily battle. Please do better than me. Normalise all of it. To be fair my son is autistic so there are complicating issues but I never felt sad about it because it was entirely for his benefit (even if he doesn't realise it!)

Also he's been bullied for all manner of things including his autism. Nobody has ever mentioned his glasses. So many wear them, it's just not a thing!

I remember getting a right telling off from the optometrist when she told me ds needed glasses- he was almost three. She said, if you only knew the things I had to tell parents. I now know what she means but at the time I was just so upset.
Now, 18 years later, my heart just melts when I see a little one with glasses. My dd chooses to wear his glasses even though he has his contacts sitting upstairs in a box.

Read your other posts. Oh god the dilating drops. They were a pain. Soon old enough to do regular eye tests. Mine go to specsavers and they've always been good and we always get 2 pairs as they continually break them.

+5 is very high. Surely not normal in the other eye? If unequal, presumably you will be on to patching ASAP. It's best to do that religiously at a young age. Mine did it in nursery and it completely reversed the disparity but it depends on your prescription. It's harder for them doing patching in school but they won't be the only one.

Anyway I can't tell you if it will reverse from +5 to normal. DS2 is +4/4.5 ish and im not expectinghim to ever stop wearing glasses. DS1 is even higher and more longsighted.

I think you've got to realise that having glasses is so much better for them than struggling on without. Both my ds never minded wearing glasses because they can see better.

Be glad it's been looked at and he's not going to go into school struggling to see. He's probably going to find more children joining him in spec's when they test them all in reception.

My Granddaughter has worn glasses since she was about 5 months old (very high prescription) , and she has hearing aids also. She is 8 and a half now and has had not problems at all at school.

What an overreaction. You do realise glasses are the most common thing now. Almost every other child wears it. Have you never noticed this? Very odd. He will be fine.

My now nine-year-old had glasses prescribed when she was aged five. Far from being picked on for them, she was much-envied and her neon pink glasses were the talk of the playground for a while, with other girls queueing to try them on and admire their reflection in the classroom windows (I know this as it mightily amused the teacher and TA who taught my daughter's class and they found it so funny that they told me about it one pick up!)

She wore them for just over two years and then it was found that the problem (she was long-sighted in one eye) had corrected itself. No further issues (although her dad and I both wear glasses so she will likely be in them again eventually!)

Don't worry @Honeybeebuzz; I do get it and I was worried too because I hated the idea of anything being "defective" in my perfect baby, but it was my issue not hers and I think that she quite enjoyed wearing them! Take care.

Thank you, I hope it'll be the same for my DS, it's definitely my worry not his at the moment luckily. Out of curiosity do you remember what your daughter's prescription was in her long sighted eye before she got her glasses?

DD got glasses at 4, right before she started preschool. I was such an idiot about it, but we let her pick out really cute glasses (had little dog paws on the sides) and everyone was always really nice everywhere complimenting her on her lovely glasses! She was required to wear them till she was about 9 I think and now at 29, she does wear them sometimes if her eyes get tired.

I don’t think anyone ever teased her or made any kind of issue about it.

Your LO will be fine, just make it a hugely exciting thing!

Let him pick the frames. If they are truly awful, you might want to negotiate a bit, or get a 2nd pair, but it's him who has to wear them.

I still haven't forgiven my mother for dominating my choice of hairstyles. I would end up with something that she'd told the hairdresser combined with what I'd asked for, and as a result got mushroom haircuts.

My youngest (Dd) was approx +5 at age 2-ish, but has ended up as +7. DS1 is approx +3, DS2 is +7.25. While +5 isn’t very very high, I would definitely recommend getting the lenses thinned. Specsavers have always been great with this - we got her first pair (+5), and they weren’t extra thin, and they were too heavy for her 2-year old face, so they re-made them extra thin for us for free, they were so kind. Since then we have always paid to have them extra thin - it makes a massive difference to how the glasses look and feel.

Thanks for the advice, I'll ask them about thinning when they confirm the prescription, did any of your children end up not needing glasses after wearing them for a few years. Mixed information about long sightedness, the optician had said after a few years he may not need them anymore

With my youngest (+5 at 2years old) we were told she may not need them at age 7, but her prescription did actually get higher (to +7). But with the super-thin lenses you can’t tell the difference in the glasses. It is probably different for every child, depending upon what the actual problem is. We also have strabismus in the family, so glasses have been really helpful (for all three) stopping this develop. We will definitely support her if she wishes to use contact lenses in secondary school (her brothers do), as they are a good option too. We get prescription goggles for two of mine as well; and for the middle one (+7.25) we got sports glasses (bendy, with a strap round the back of the head) for when he did judo, as without glasses he didn’t seem to concentrate! In the grand scheme of things it is not really a problem - you and your dc will get used to it very very quickly.

And to be honest, glasses will pretty much come to us all - your eyesight starts to get much much worse in your mid 40s, so it might be that you will also have some glasses at some point!

My dd still has hers. She got them at 18 months and is now 20. Her face looks bare without them.

I imagine that the larger the degree of long sight the less likely they will grow out of it.

• 5 is a high prescription if older but I'm not an expert on young children and eyes. My dd has worn glasses since 7 and never had an issue with teasing. Only thing it prevented her from doing was being a fighter pilot (not kidding, she chose ships instead, navy)

same for my son who is 4… how is your getting on ? Isit better ? Will he need to wear them always ? My questions haven’t been answered