4 year old needs glasses- why do I feel so upset

[Honeybeebuzz]

We decided to bring our 4 year old DS to get his eyes tested, we had no concerns just thought it would be good to check and fully expected to be told his eyes were fine. They have said he is very long sighted in one eye and will definitely need glasses at least for a few years to correct this. I feel really upset about this, my biggest worry is other children picking on him as he is already the youngest in the class and can be shy. I feel really tearful. Has anyone had this experience with their child at this age? Did you find othe children to be unkind about it?

it's so much more common to see children with glasses nowadays as sight issues are picked up much earlier in children.
this, and the frames available in all sorts of styles and colours.

One of my friends at primary school had to wear specs to correct a lazy eye. It worked and she didn't need any afterwards.

(Re. my nasty colleague. She was nasty. When another colleague showed his brother's photo she said 'He's ugly!' - he wasn't, just not particularly handsome)

My 18yo dd has worn glasses since she was 4. She was excited at the time, and several of her friends were jealous and said they wanted glasses too!

Glasses for kids, including the free ones, are much nicer than the ones we had as kids.

Though to be fair I didn't get my glasses until 10 as my parents wrongly assumed they made your eye sight worse.

I'd maybe go for a 2nd opinion before getting glasses, the reason for this is my DC had very poor eyesight, can't get out of bed without glasses and was seen regularly at the hospital for his vision checks, due to this my younger DC had to get their eyesight tested there also and the consultant said their eyesight was fine and not to take them to an optician till they were at least at high school as they would more than likely say they needed glasses when they didn't.
As for my elder child, they never once got picked on for wearing glasses

No personal experience but my DS is 4 and in reception. Only 5 minutes ago he was telling me that his little friend at school got new glasses yesterday. He said that all the children were really excited as they were really cool and that his friend now had super seeing powers.
Not once has it crossed his mind that there is anything to make fun of and I'm sure the same goes for the rest of his class.

Not necessarily.

When my prescription randomly changed Boots made sure all the opticians they could get to the store checked my eyesight.

Very weird to have to wait in the store while they found another optician to double check.

I know from the store I go to now they don't tend to have 4 opticians.

In fact I nearly had an argument in my current store a few years after store as the optician there couldn't believe my eyesight has changed that much.

Her child is going to get a proper eye test with drops and is being referred to opthalmology. If he is long sighted in one eye he will likely need glasses. Do you really think a reputable optician would prescribe glasses for no reason?

My ds (17) gets regular eye tests and if he didn't need glasses he wasn't prescribed any. He now has a small short sighted prescription after not needing glasses for years. He needs them to see the board if he's sitting nearer the back of the class at school.

I wouldn't have thought so no but the hospital consultant definitely did

Yep, mine got given glasses at 4 and stopped wearing them at 7! Optician said there's enough of a + on their eyesight that they shouldn't need glasses again until at least mid 20s, if at all.

Aw I’m sure he’ll be ok! He’ll look so cute. There are tons of kids with glasses at my kids‘ school, at least a couple in my son’s yr 1 class.

He’ll probably be the envy of all the others tbh, I was desperate to break my leg, have glasses and braces when I was in reception!

I felt like that when my eldest needed glasses at 5 so just before starting school. But he loved them and has never had any bother wearing them. He is in his teens now and still wears them daily. No problems whatsoever. So many kids now wear glasses that none of them will even think of it as anything to comment on. Now both my kids wear glasses and both are very happy with them! Your LO will be fine too and will love getting to choose their frames.

Hi , two of my kids had glasses from a restively young age ( 2& 3 ) .Shortsighted rather than long sighted .
I think if there are any health issues with your children you understandably feel sad about it . My two used to go to the local children's hospital for their checkups and that was a real reality check for me as you would see other children / families with significant health problems .

As everyone has said the range of children's glasses are much better now than when I was younger . Lots of cool colours and sporty glasses that stayed on better . One of my children who didn't need glasses was disappointed about this when he saw his siblings glasses ...
Thankfully the Harry Potter effect is real and my kids never got teased about wearing glasses . I also found that come later in primary school a lot of their friends would also need glasses as well and it was very much seen as the norm .x

@Honeybeebuzz - Hey OP 😊 I work in optics! It's common in children as their eyes are still growing (along with all the other organs and muscles) and when the eyes haven't fully grown a lot of the time it's just that the light doesn't reach the retina (which is how we see) and glasses will bounce the light further back and will just correct this to help the vision until they're finished forming! X

Thank you, yes the optometrist had indicated this which sounded positive but my DH was at the test and said he couldn't even see the top letter/number and she confirmed it would be significant I think +5 was mentioned, do you think that means he'll likely need glasses long term (sorry I know it's difficult to say without actually testing him yourself)

My DD wears them, has done since she was 7, some of her friends earlier, all the non glasses wearer friends think it's cool and want some themselves

Studies have shown being in natural light is very important for eye development. So I would make sure your child spends time outside everyday.

I am shortsighted and my eyesight is appalling. My mum taught me to read extremely young so I was close reading text from 3 or something. I was on library chapter books before school and have been addicted to reading and a total nerd ever since.
My three kids have perfect eyesight, even though I also taught my eldest to read young she also spent a lot of time outside every day.
In Asia countries with highly competitive education systems, where kids spend hours and hours a day inside close reading texts from a very young age when their eyes are developing, a high % of kids need glasses.
https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/02/05/383765377/why-is-nearsightedness-skyrocketing-among-chinese-youth

@annlee3817 yes my dd wanted glasses so bad around 7-8 she wore glasses with clear lens and no prescription for a year at least! 😂😂

I have another late August 4yr old glasses wearer. There were 2 in her class at the time, went on to be about 6 by the end of yr2. Dd had hers for a squint so a different prescription, but she had eye patches and glasses for almost 2 years, the glasses remained till about 8/9 so she no longer wears them, though I suspect will end up with reading glasses soon now mid teens - but she's a constant book worm....

Which pretty much shows that noone cares who's wearing glasses unless it's themselves or their kids. She probably hadn't even noticed you wear them 🫣

DS wears glasses for long sight. He is a little older but still primary. His reading has come on leaps and bounds since he's had them and he's also a lot less grumpy and cross. Seems he was straining when reading. The optician told me that children often use their muscles to focus which is tiring. By getting glasses early it should really help his learning and hopefully stop him getting frustrated.
Lots of glasses envy in our school. The choice of free glasses is really good and for only a very little more there are lots more options. Boots seem to do lots of discounts on the published frame price.
I do strongly recommend a spare pair though.....

Ds (8) recently got glasses and I admit I was initially a little upset. However he was really pleased about it and thinks glasses are cool, which seems to be the consensus among his classmates too (thank you Harry Potter!).

I can understand you might feel like this, because it’s relatively unusual at that age.

Focus on selling it to him as a cool thing, let him choose his frames, get him some books with characters in glasses. Other kids won’t be a problem, just curious if anything.

My son started wearing glasses at 3 and never had problems that I’m aware of. I work in a school and loads of kids wear glasses now. I’ve never seen any of them get any bother for it. Don’t think it has the ‘nerd’ or ‘geek’ connotations that it used to have.

One of my friends took her 5 year old for an eyesight test recently, and the child was most upset that he didn’t need glasses! So much so, that she had to take him to buy some ‘fake’ glasses 😁.

Honestly, you have nothing to fear. My children have worn glasses from a young age, and none of their peers noticed/commented. I actually think it is considered quite ‘trendy’ these days.

When I first needed glasses, the options available to me were very limited (standard frames in different colours), and I felt very self conscious. Yet, there are now so many amazing options available to young children.