Could you tell me about life with boys?

[Joelle3]

If you were lucky enough to be able to conceive, and your first child was a boy, could you tell me about having a second boy?

I am someone who has sort of daydreamed about having a girl one day (still HIGHLY aware of how lucky I am to be able to have a child at all) and I’m now needing to adjust the picture of what my life will look like.

If you have 2 or more boys, what has surprised you about being their parent? Do you sometimes still pine for a girl if you did before, or has your experience shifted that? Are there benefits to raising boys that you didn’t consider before?

Thanks so much - sent with loads of love for anyone struggling with fertility x

I have two boys and it is AMAZING!

Admittedly I was disappointed when I learnt that my second baby was going to be another boy (at 20 week scan) because I liked the idea of having a daughter, BUT having two boys has been phenomenal!!

They are best friends and so so close! The house is full of laughter and they can’t be separated. They’re boisterous and mischievous little monkeys but their relationship is brilliant and they make me laugh all the time.

I am very, very confident that their special relationship has formed because they are the same sex. They have the same social friendship group, the same interests and the same hobbies and so they spend all their time together which is why they are so close.

Don’t worry OP, it will all be fine.

If I were to have another baby then I would definitely want another boy to add to the crazy two I already have 🩵

I have two boys 9&5. They are amazing. They are the perfect mix of wee on the toilet seat, eat you out of house and home and covered in mud with well timed cuddles, jokes and useless knowledge!

My third child is a girl and I was secretly disappointed when I found out as I really wanted another boy. I wouldn’t change her for the world now but I love being a boy mama.

Four boys here. It’s much easier having them all the same sex in terms of handing down clothes, going to similar clubs (football and cricket in our case) etc. I’ve been surprised by just how incredibly different all their personalities are and their range of interests.

I did quite fancy having a girl but honestly I don’t really think it would have made much difference. I absolutely love watching them doing sport and they also love doing things with me like coming to the theatre, shopping, eating out etc. It’s bloody great.

They are very loud though 😭

Oh God I can resonate with so much of this 😂

The endless list of pointless questions and useless knowledge 😂 I don’t know what goes through their minds half the time but I love the inane conversations I am forced to have 😂

Thankfully I don’t have to worry about wee on the toilet seat, they know how to clean that up, but the endless cuddles are
glorious 🩵🩵

And I can’t believe how much I have learnt about football over the last few years 😂

I have boys with a two-year age gap, and they are very close, similar interests etc. Looking back, I suspect it makes for an easier time of things, as you can do activities that suit them both well, and they have a handy play-mate for times when you are busy in the house. The benefits were really highlighted for me when chatting with a friend who has a son and daughter - who would typically play separately in their own bedrooms to keep out of each other’s way.

My friend has 4 boys and I’m very jealous 😂

I met a woman once who had 6 boys and they were like miniature versions of each other. When they lined up in age order it was like looking at a set of Russian Dolls 😂

I have two boys (now grown-ups with careers) and from a practical point of view it always seemed cheaper and easier to have two of the same sex. From a parenting viewpoint, boys - while generally louder and more "physical" to parent than girls - are also more straightforward. Any problems or perceived slights are aired and dealt with, then forgotten, whereas my friends with girls tell me that issues just fester for ever and everything takes an eternity to resolve. I've absolutely loved having two boys.

Hmmm.
Piss on and around the toilet seat
Piss on the floor in front of the toilet
Plastic crap everywhere, Lego, Star Wars stuff etc etc etc…

Its a vibe though, a friend told me that her aim while raising her son was to make him a good person who will be a bloody good partner to someone someday, in other words, not like the useless, selfish, spineless cretins of partners that she and many many many other women end up with.

This I thought, is a great plan. So my boys are being raised as totally self sufficient kind people (who clean the toilet seat if they have an accidental mishap)

It's great. And remember you have to accompany them to the cinema until they are 12. I occasionally have to force them to watch Mamma Mia 2 or something with me, but I've rather enjoyed my Marvel odyssey!

Two boys here, 8&10, with an 18 month gap.

I did dream of a girl but having 2 boys is awesome!

I have just read this thread to my boys and my youngest (6) asked me to tell you that not only is the house filled with craziness but it’s also full of “hyper-ness” 😂

He was also telling me that him and his brother are not best friends and are actually “foes”. He’s only saying this though because he likes to show off if he’s learnt a new word 😂

I’ve sent them upstairs to brush their teeth but all I can hear is them singing “Away in a Manger” at full volume 😂

Honestly OP, boys are totally brilliant 😂

I have 2 boys, 23 months apart and they are just awesome. So much fun, energy and adventures. We spend lots of time outside. It's full on but fun.

Noisy, messy, with a huge food bill but wonderful. 2 years apart - they have different interests but also have stuff in common. They both talk a lot and have so much knowledge about so much! I have embraced football, cricket and darts! My youngest will happily watch anything with me and go shopping. My 16 year old is a bit too cool for that at the moment!

They were very easy to parent when they were younger in terms of activities etc. They always have each other too.

I don't ever feel like miss out on not having a girl. I am firm believer in you get what you get.

I have two lovely boys. I honestly don’t think there’s much difference between boys and girls. It’s about personalities, surely.
I think it’s easier to bring up boys because you don’t have to deal with comments about how pretty they are as if that’s the most important thing about them. (Would have to restrain self). It’s not easy to deal with the ‘oh what a shame, will you try again for a girl?’ comments you get at the start though.
They are 13 and 9 and get on surprisingly well for their age gap. They’ve been great together over Christmas.
My oldest is going through puberty and he has broken some stuff round the house recently, which he will pay for! He is a lovely boy though and a good person - he’s just emotional and doesn’t always know his own strength. He is kind, thoughtful, intelligent and absolutely beautiful. You have to guard against the whole Andrew Tate toxic masculinity thing, but I’ve found that easy because we’ve just brought them up properly in that sense.
My youngest is very affectionate and loving and gives the most wonderful cuddles. He is 9 but still adores his teddies and acts like they’re real. We don’t discourage this.

I had two boys first then a girl. There is no difference between them. As in parenting wise, exact same challenges and joys!

Boys are amazing, I really wouldn't want a girl. They are so loving, the toys are so much fun, they are uncomplicated, they love their mums.

Boys are the best!
Don't understand the social pressures to have a girl? The majority of gender disappointment tends to be when women find out they're having a boy.

Op you will love your two boys! I also have two boys and wouldn’t have it any other way!
I agree with the previous posters, they describe life with boys well!
My boys fight like cat and dog, but love each other beyond anything and would be there for the other in a heartbeat!
They love sport, mud, mess 😂but are so loving with me, they say the sweetest things, that make my heart melt! I’m very lucky to have them!

I have two boys and a girl.

The boys are the best of friends, really funny together and probably a bit TOO close if anything - they play together at break and lunch in school when I do think they should be seeking out new friends. That said, their bond is really beautiful. I was delighted to have a second boy though, it was what I always wanted.

They are also, combined, a hell of a lot 'easier' than my daughter. I adore her, but she's much more highly strung than the boys and can be quite 'difficult' to deal with. Might just be her obviously, but all my friends who have different sex children say that girls are harder work.

I have 2 boys, 3 years apart. I always used to look at friends with little girls and my boys seemed so much more harder work, lively and boisterous! I used to feel I had to take them out and tire them out most days at the park. Very cute, loving and so easy to entertain as youngsters. It's so much easier having two the same sex. I miss those days now.

Yet they are now older teenagers, they tower over me and are bloody dream to have around. They've always got on fine, they are helpful, loving, gentle, respectful and no trouble at all.

Mine sit down to pee so never pee on the toilet seat, plus they were taught to clean up after themselves. My youngest is almost 18 years old, the hand me down clothes saved me an absolute fortune. There is a 3 year age gap.

But they are not always boisterious tornados, boys are human beings and are varied like all human beings. They never played football or rugby but were physically active in other sports or activities. They are sweet and kind, the best of friends as they share a lot of similar passions. Ds1 is in his final year at uni so lives away from home and they talk over headsets to each other, game together etc. It is adorable. They tower over me, pat me on the head and call me shorty, they have tidy rooms, do chores without being reminded, hug both me and Dh, tell us they love us and they are honestly an absolute delight to be around and talk to.

They are people first. That they are boys is way less important. Mine are very different from each other and yet I do think it’s easier for them to be social friends when the same sex. Mine head off to the gym together or lol to the barbers and are gorgeous (these days:). I would say never teach them to wee standing up at home and then never suffer the splashes. I think there is some truth in the idea that Teen girls are as a group a bit trickier to mums and teen boys a bit closer to mums. My boys cheerfully imagining me as old as my mum yesterday and were discussing how they were going to take care of me. They help with shopping, cook, do jobs and will happily go to the cinema or the pub with me. They are lovely.

I have two boys

My youngest is calm, thoughtful, likes reading and puzzle books. Has always been hugely kind and empathetic. Not at all boisterous and not a minutes trouble his whole life. Smiles all day and always makes me a cup of tea.

His brother is more active and busy and has always loved dancing, did ballet for years, tap dancing, hates all field sports. Spends most of his time giving me hugs even as an older teenager. Loves coming to the shops and taking me out for a coffee. Loves cooking esp baking cakes.

Both have very messy rooms!
I have never stood at a football pitch, never had to break up a fight, never been screamed at that they hate me but neither have they have never stolen my clothes! No drama about things, lots of compassion and thoughtfulness.

Every year for Mother’s Day and my bday/xmas they both get me the most thoughtful gifts even tho I say I don’t want or need anything. It blows me away how they take time to think of something and then order it and wrap it. This year one of them noticed I had been having more baths as I had bought myself a bubble bath I really liked when we were on holiday this summer and he took time to source the exact same type even though it wasn’t from the UK.

They are extremely close to each other and to me.

Their friends are a mix of boys and girls and so I have lots of young women about the house to chat with about fashion or ask advice from about shopping!

It is not at all how I imagined having boys would be like (I really wanted boys) but it’s perfect.

Children are very individual and your relationship with them will be what you put in with a bit of luck that their temperament matches your own. But assuming your parenting experience will be one way just because of the sex of your children is completely wrong.

Two boys here 21 and 16 (nearly 17). 5 year gap.

DH and I wouldn't swap them for the world. We have found raising them quite easy, though admittedly they have given us grey hair at times.

DS21 has been home from Uni for Christmas and it's been like he's never been away. I know that DS16 misses him (though he may not admit it) but they are always in contact through social media.

I agree with other posters, having boys are brilliant.

I have four boys. Teenagers now.

The grocery bill only gets larger and they did go through an early puberty phase of not washing which isn't great but apart from that they are SO MUCH FUN.