Family members thinking it’s odd I still contact nap

[brownbutterfrangipanetart]

I have a 5m baby and at night she goes in side cot for her sleep, but during day I struggle to do naps that aren’t contact naps (unless on a walk in sling)

every time family sees me doing this (mainly my mother and mil), they say why can’t you put baby down etc, and you should be putting baby down so you don’t need to be stuck sitting down.

then they encourage me to try putting her down once I’ve got her to sleep, at which point she always wakes up and starts crying!

is contact napping not typical at 5 months? Should I be encouraging baby to do more independent naps?

any advice appreciated!

You should be doing whatever you want.

I would have found that a pain in the arse, not to be able to do anything once the baby's asleep, but if it suits you, it's not harming anyone.

It's no one's business but yours.

If it doesn't bother you then it's ok. I do sling naps most days with mine (also 5mo) as I have a toddler so I'm not trapped sitting down but also she hasn't learnt to nap on her own.

Oh well.

Ha, my 2 year old still contact naps if he can! Whilst I was on mat leave every nap was a contact nap. It's completely your choice, if you're happy and your baby is happy then sod everyone else's opinion.

yes agreed

@WhateverMate i do find them a bit of a pain as would prefer to go and make a drink, go bathroom etc. issue is she wakes as soon as I attempt to put her down 😅

@twankysaysrelax yes the sling is great! I often find I need to keep moving otherwise baby wakes up from nap but it works great when moving and out on walks

I have a 2.5 year old that still loves a contact nap. I don’t think she had any non contact naps ay 5mo!

You do what works for you. Not what other people think is best.

both of mine mostly napped on me at that age (mainly because they were breastfed too, and the naps just followed organically from a feed) and I loved it.

My youngest is 7 now, and I can’t remember the last time she fell asleep on me, and I do miss it.

if it doesn’t bother you don’t race to make it stop. It will happen all too soon anyway.

Mine contact napped until 8 months or so and still starts each sleep falling asleep on me. She would also wake up straight away when transferred but one day it just changed and she stayed asleep in the cot. Enjoy the cuddles while you can as long as it continues to suit you and ignore what others say. My parents are wee advocating putting her in the cot and letting her cry at 3 months which I obviously ignored.

I think you'll find that you'll never get a night's sleep as your baby gets older.

I'd stop contact naps. Mind you, I'd never have started them........

I opened this expecting your child to be older, so as you please, your baby your way.

My 13 month old contact naps too

I would have hated that. I needed a physical and psychological break.

Just ignore them. People like to have digs at anything and everything when it comes to parenting. 5m is still so young and contact napping is completely normal. I’m typing this while nap-trapped under my 12-month old who will only sleep on me or in a moving pushchair.

They can think what they like, can't they? What would happen if you calmly told them you disagree, and you don't want advice about it any more?

They need to butt out. If contact napping is working for you then great. My 2 year old still often contact naps. They are only little for such a short period of time, I say soak it up while it lasts.

I did this with both mine, often with a sling so I could move about, for the first year or so and occasionally after that, and although it was sometimes inconvenient and our house was quite messy, it was also lovely, met a need in me I guess, and I’m glad now that I did it. You should do what you want. I do wonder if some people have a strong reaction against seeing a mother do this, if it’s something unresolved in them.

I relied on that time to catch up on study, to sit and have lunch/tea in peace or to do some housework. No way would I have done it and if I saw someone whose welfare I cared about doing it, I might express surprise because well, I gave a shit about then. Its really not necessary at all so why 'suffer' unnecessarily?

I contact nap exclusively for at least the first six months and sometimes a year. Anecdotally, my best solo sleepers are the ones I held the most as babies. If you’re happy with it, it’s absolutely fine.

@BareBelliedSneetch yes same for me, happens after breastfeeding

@wishIwasonholiday10 interesting to know it changed at 8 months. As I’m on mat leave with no other children, it’s not an issue but wondered why others find it so odd!

@Watchkeys I think that would put an end to the comments (hopefully)

I guess she must just have been ready by then. We were staying with my parents and they refused to turn the TV off in the living room and I didn’t want to spend too much time isolated in the bedroom so I just gave it a go. We continued the cot naps once we got home from that trip but she still falls asleep on me at 17 months and we contact nap when she is sick. I didn’t get much done around the house for those first 8 months but I don’t regret it.

I contact napped with my first until he was 10 months and even then only stopped because he was getting too heavy! He started napping without me just fine, no 'problem' created. Runs into school every morning now, is always the first one in. A happy and confident little boy.

Carry on as u are! I cherish the memories.

@theleafandnotthetree some people enjoy it and prefer it.

@theleafandnotthetree while it is sometimes annoying to be ‘trapped’, I definitely wouldn’t say I’m suffering as a result. It’s more other people’s opinions that are making me feel as if it’s an odd thing to be doing

I loved contact naps with my now 2yo, she's stopped napping completely now but would still sleep on me up until she dropped her nap if she got the chance. I looked back through my camera reel the other day and have a photo of one of her last contact naps plus one of her ear imprint on my arm 🥰 She's also in her own bed at nighttime for a good portion of the night and is starting to sleep through more often too so ignore the doomsayers who say you won't get them off you until they're getting married.

In the wider historical and societal context, it is somewhat 'odd' in so far as only a very small proportion of new mothers - largely those with one child and who have the luxury of time, modern conveniences etc to enable them to sit under a baby for hours on end - that can do it, especially this far along. If you are happy to keep doing it, do so but you can't control other people's thoughts and feelings on it. And unless they are being rude about it, your best bet is ignoring it like all the other advice and commentary that every newish mother everywhere gets as a matter of course. Most people are trying to be kind and helpful and give you the benefit of their experience.

That's why I had 'suffer' in inverted commas! 😊